[hartbroken]

I have played banjo for a bluegrass band for 10 years... but last month I got paranoid and thought she was paying us wrong. I found out later she was justified in her method, but I was humiliated and embarrassed so I quit.

Last week a guy around Chicago asked me to play banjo for a good amount of money. I was scared, afraid I wouldn't be able to do it physically. So I turned it down.

Finally, I turned down teaching banjo lessons to a 13 year old.

I don't know what's going on. Usually I'd go for it anyway, despite the fear. I'm a state champion banjo player many times over, and have played in Europe and all over Canada and the US before I crashed and got schizoaffective 14 years ago. All my mental and physical confidence have left me.

Just had to vent this out!

[Travelinglady]

So sorry you're struggling with your confidence!

As a former musician with severe anxiety problems I can relate to this. I lost so many opportunities due to anxiety. I'm sorry it's this way for you. Unsolicited advice: I know it's extremely hard but next time an opportunity comes up... just try it. It's so much better to have tried and failed than to not try. and sometimes it works out better than expected. Good luck in the future.

Originally Posted by hartbroken

I have played banjo for a bluegrass band for 10 years... but last month I got paranoid and thought she was paying us wrong. I found out later she was justified in her method, but I was humiliated and embarrassed so I quit.

Last week a guy around Chicago asked me to play banjo for a good amount of money. I was scared, afraid I wouldn't be able to do it physically. So I turned it down.

Finally, I turned down teaching banjo lessons to a 13 year old.

I don't know what's going on. Usually I'd go for it anyway, despite the fear. I'm a state champion banjo player many times over, and have played in Europe and all over Canada and the US before I crashed and got schizoaffective 14 years ago. All my mental and physical confidence have left me.

Just had to vent this out!

[Jacki~]

There is a book called the Artists Way by Julia Cameron. Her exercises and tasks will guide you through this difficult time. Are you playing today? Have you played this week? Stay the course. Sure wish I could take some lessons. Take care of yourself.