Don't know if I should be here...

Hi all,

I used to love my job, but now I'm finding myself becoming increasingly stressed and worried and anxious about both being here and when I wake up and heading to work.

I've also started self harming at work. Not good, because my work collegues evidently don't understand why I do it. I think they look on me like I'm a freak, and have started either ignoring me or talking to me like crap.

My friend says that due to how I'm feeling (suicidal thoughts, voices, seeing things etc...) that I shouldn't really be working. But in this day and age, and with my debts, I can't really afford not to.

Any advice?

(I know I've posted a lot... I have a lot of issues )

jesuslovedtech

I'd call your doctor, see what's going on and how they could help. It doesn't sound like things can get better on their own.

therapy helps. i have therapy once a week. my therapist has been gone for three weeks, though, and it has shown at work. just getting to talk to someone about what stresses me out (and there is a lot) helps.

i know the feeling of anxiety that creeps up when it gets closer and closer to time to go in. i recently had a breakdown at work so that has made things uneasy since i work with the same people all the time. thankfully, two of the three people who were there were there last night and i could apologize, but the third person i don't think she cares much for me anyway so i don't know how that will turn out. i had wanted to show up after being gone for four days and act like nothing had happened but alas, the other people didn't act that way, haha. which sucked, but i think i did all right by apologizing and then letting it go.

if i were you, i would try not to self-harm at work. doing such a thing in public is never very good and you could very well lose your job that way. i agree with Perna, talk to a doctor and see about counseling. like i said, therapy is good and healthy.

I couldn't agree with you more, I shouldn't have ever started self harming at work. It was a drastic solution to a pretty no drastic issue, when you look at it logically. I don't really do it at work any more, but at home I do it a lot. My arms look like whacky zebra's.

I have my psych exam next Thursday. It feels like a year away right now, but I'll try and hold out until then (if the voices stop, anyway).

Thanks for the words. It's nice to know I'm not alone in feeling like this at work.