[Loveyxlinsey]

At my ex-job I had to work with 3 girls very closely. The culture of the job wasn't a fit with my personality, but all the other girls there were the same and got along great. I was always positive, friendly, unique, and helpful when I could be.

The leader (mini supervisor) of the group belittled me, would say negative things about my personality when I would be minding my own business. Called me stupid, and said what I had to say was pointless. Disrespected me by giving me a nickname. And when her followers would say something disrespectful to me she was the happiest. (One girl would praise her over everything the leader did, while ignoring me, and the other was the leaders best friend) They always praised themselves. While crying about how they were victims of @$$holes and mean girls in HS.

I need help getting over them. It was okay in high-school, but grown women doing this is just too much to take. I didn't understand were all the hatred and annoyance of me came from especially since when I got the point I stopped interacting with them personally. Also it's not like I was the favorite, or best worker.... (I was an OK worker...I did my best, and didn't slow the team down, but there were other workers that sucked at there jobs that didn't get hated)

I'm not sure if I threaten them in someway, or was I just a dumping ground for there CR@P because I was different from them....

I'm so afraid of this happening to me again at my new job, and I can't stop thinking about why I was belittled in the first place....

[crazyincanada]

I've worked for and with Mean Girls. They're awful, and they never change. You have to think of it in terms of bullying, not just as a high school situation. There are legal resources available for your employer to demote, retrain or remove bullies. Go over their head, don't retaliate, and document everything. You'll be respected for standing up for yourself, and will probably make some strong allies at work who have also been victims. One person just has to be strong enough to stand up and say STOP

[HockingPastryChef]

The point of them belittling you is to get a reaction. Do not react; be proactive. Write out your situations and what they had said to you and what you had done back. When they say something that isn't true let them know you disagree. When she says that what you had said was pointless then ask her: "What is your evidence that what I had said was stupid?" Another thing you could say so they will stop with their manipulative belittling behavior is : "It's a common opinion that co-workers think that other co-workers are stupid, though I wasn't expecting it coming from you." Or "I read in a business magazine where co-workers like to think that other co-workers don't do their job well." There is also a fogging technique you can use, when something they say is true with an attitude. say back calmly: Yes, I agree that ...... If it is somewhat true, agree on the part that is true and tell them you disagree on the other part. You can even ask why they said what isn't true from their perspective. And if it is completely untrue say something like: "Yeah someone in another universe may possibly believe that." Say all these back emotionless and calmly but firm. They want that reaction because that's what makes them feel good. They want to see you hurt. If they continue after doing these attempts a couple times; confronting them about how you feel is the next step. Saying something like calmly: "When you girls make fun of me, I feel insulted and don't appreciate it. I want it to stop." And continue to repeat back how you feel and how you don't like it that is if they don't agree and continue to try to manipulate you and take you off topic. Use the broken record technique. You can reduce your sentence down to "I want it to stop" then as you keep repeating and rephrasing back. Another one I think is that you can eventually ask them "Do you like it when others pick on you?" And tell them that you don't know of anyone who likes it.

If you would keep this up if they are still there and haven't been fired they soon may give you respect back. If not, then ignoring them may do the trick and do your own work. Don't take what they say personally unless it is something true that you can fix. Be happy, honest and calm.

I would look up assertiveness too. I have taken a course on it and also have a book. Assertive is the most confident personality and it isn't bossy though you are standing up for yourself the right way. These techniques I've learned from reading about it. You are direct, honest and positive. You kill anger and negativity with kindness.

[HockingPastryChef]

Originally Posted by HockingPastryChef

The point of them belittling you is to get a reaction. Do not react; be proactive. Write out your situations and what they had said to you and what you had done back. When they say something that isn't true let them know you disagree. When she says that what you had said was pointless then ask her: "What is your evidence that what I had said was stupid?" Another thing you could say so they will stop with their manipulative belittling behavior is : "It's a common opinion that co-workers think that other co-workers are stupid, though I wasn't expecting it coming from you." Or "I read in a business magazine where co-workers like to think that other co-workers don't do their job well." There is also a fogging technique you can use, when something they say is true with an attitude. say back calmly: Yes, I agree that ...... If it is somewhat true, agree on the part that is true and tell them you disagree on the other part. You can even ask why they said what isn't true from their perspective. And if it is completely untrue say something like: "Yeah someone in another universe may possibly believe that." Say all these back emotionless and calmly but firm. They want that reaction because that's what makes them feel good. They want to see you hurt. If they continue after doing these attempts a couple times; confronting them about how you feel is the next step. Saying something like calmly: "When you girls make fun of me, I feel insulted and don't appreciate it. I want it to stop." And continue to repeat back how you feel and how you don't like it that is if they don't agree and continue to try to manipulate you and take you off topic. Use the broken record technique. You can reduce your sentence down to "I want it to stop" then as you keep repeating and rephrasing back. Another one I think is that you can eventually ask them "Do you like it when others pick on you?" And tell them that you don't know of anyone who likes it.

If you would keep this up if they are still there and haven't been fired they soon may give you respect back. If not, then ignoring them may do the trick and do your own work. Don't take what they say personally unless it is something true that you can fix. Be happy, honest and calm.

I would look up assertiveness too. I have taken a course on it and also have a book. Assertive is the most confident personality and it isn't bossy though you are standing up for yourself the right way. These techniques I've learned from reading about it. You are direct, honest and positive. You kill anger and negativity with kindness.

I see you had left the job. But you'll run into more trouble like that at other jobs and elsewhere too. It's best to see the positives in the people you are around and work to not have resentment. Realize that they were the ones who weren't happy in the first place or it may be there personality. Realize you were the happy one and don't let that put you down. Positive people don't let negative people put them down. Most of them believe internally not externally.

When there is more trouble you need to set bounderies. Like I said above become assertive will most certainly help. Spiritual reading are helpful too.