[Strive4health]

I don't want this to be long winded so I am going to give the abridged version here.

I was able to figure out part of my issue with workplaces in the past had to do with a few things:

-I am an introverted female and people expected me to be more gregarious
-I am very professional on the job and I came across as intimidating
-My analytical and logical personality made people think I was a b-word
-I work best with order, sound decision-making, and some independence
-I am very direct but I know how to communicate my point without being malicious

My personality really confused a lot of people. Previous supervisors didn't get why I needed to have some sense of order and organization. They seemed to like chaos (even though it was destructive) and thought I was too uptight even though they themselves, were control freaks (more details later). At my last job, a supervisor didn't like me because I held my ground and there was no real reason for me to ever be disciplined (I never was, but she'd assign me extra work to "test" me). The job before that, my supervisor hated my guts. Not kidding. She didn't like just about everything I did, even though I received positive remarks on my work and communication from many people. My coworkers even threw me a party when I left and gave me candy because they said they were sad I was leaving That tells me I wasn't really a problem for the workplace as much as my supervisor didn't like me.

I should mention the sector I was a part of seems to thrive off of some sense of chaos or at least accommodates to it a lot because it heavily involved people. I went into document entry for a short time after that until my job was eliminated.

Now, I'm in school finalizing a course of study in something completely different but I think it's for me. I went to counseling to figure it out and even met with a career advisor to help me out. I really enjoy what it is I do now, but I am still scared of the workplace. The number one pattern from the past was my personality and someone always found an issue with it. It was almost always the supervisor. I am really afraid when I get a new job, I'm going to end up in the very same position with my supervisor finding me irritating, hating my guts, or something else going on even though I will enjoy the work a lot more.

How do you even find out what kind of person your supervisor is going to be? How do you get along with a supervisor who finds you irritating in spite of having done no harm? It's something going on in my mind for a while and it makes me nervous to think about with graduation coming up soon.

[H3rmit]

All I can say is when you go to a job interview, think of it as YOU interviewing them to find out what kind of jerks they are so you can refuse the position. Seriously, ask them some questions that will inform you about how they will be dealing with your concerns. Not saying it's easy, but it's the best chance you'll get.

[Strive4health]

How do I do that without making it obvious? I've been to interviews before where I took advantage of asking questions, but I think my forward nature about it caused them to think again about hiring me.

When I've asked people in the past how to do this, they say "oh it's so easy" but then they can never TELL me how it's so easy! It's frustrating.

[H3rmit]

I guess you have to come up with some key questions that aren't too obvious, but are revealing, rather than peppering them with questions as in a cross-examination. It depends on what your concerns are. If I hate enforced parties and work visits to the pub once a week, I would ask something that doesn't directly focus on whether these are obligatory, but say just their frequency. Their answer will likely reveal if they are obligatory and frequent, however. What exactly are your issues? I don't think it's easy to come up with the questions, but starting from the precise things you're worried about will help. What are the things you need to know. List them here, and people can come up with savvy ways to ask about them, possibly combining more than one into one subtle question. Also maybe google "questions to ask in a job interview."

The last job I took I knew I shouldn't have because of the stupid questions they asked me and the way they didn't care about their appearance - for a job interview. I knew I wouldn't be respected. I wasn't. I quit soon after.

Also, ask the questions in a calm and almost casual way, as if you just thought of them. Not as if they are deadly important to you.

[Strive4health]

My issues have always revolved around supervisor's expectations. I guess you can say I have had some very poor workplace experiences which have shaped my view of them.

One of my workplaces has a couple of supervisors who couldn't be direct, and I am the type of person who means what I say and say what I mean. I would always ask my supervisor, "is there anything you'd like me to work on?" or I'd ask "do you have any feedback for me?" It was always no, no, and no...that is, until my supervisor felt the need to write me up for such poor performance and then I ended up having a meeting with her supervisor's supervisor (which was nerve-wracking and traumatic).

Another supervisor LOVED working in chaos and if things were disorderly, the better (in spite of him getting into trouble with it all the time). I would clearly express what I needed to do my job well, and even he said I went above and beyond. Then at another job the expectations always changed and were made arbitrarily, and it depended on who you talked to and what day it was and what mood they were in, etc.

I think you can say my issues have revolved around supervisors and their expectations. I've asked in interviews casually "what type of person will the supervisor work best with?" and was just given some generic canned answer.

You could ask "what is a typical day look like". That would give you some insight. I ask "how do you gauge an employees performance" or "how do you communicate performance".

I have supervisor issues too. Not always and I imagine you probably could work with a mentor if they are well suited. However, any hr person will tell you it's ultimately impossible to know if someone will really fit in until they are working there. It's a crap shoot. Best advice I have is to look at it like learning experiences.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[hvert]

If your direct questions scare them off during the interview, maybe you are better off not working there?

Thinking back to your bad work experiences, was there anything in the interview process or early indication that things were going to go south?

It really is hard to tell what a place is like until you are there. I had one interview where I almost didn't take the job because I disliked the person who would be my boss -- and he turned out to be my favorite boss ever.

Good luck with your job search!

[LaborIntensive]

This is a most excellent thread. I have had the exact same experiences. I too am very logical, focused on tasks and do not wish to share everything about my life with co-workers (especially when they are reserved about themselves and asking all the questions often).

If you read my introduction you may see some similarities. I too have found that in all my research online I could not find a way to make working with certain "people types" is not able to be resolved. I am 40 now and I have lost more than that in jobs over the course of 25 years. Mostly I was fired and others I left due to abuse both verbal and physical.

Hopefully we can find some answers here and discuss these issues. Venting is always nice to do sometimes, right? Best wishes.

[Strive4health]

Originally Posted by hvert

If your direct questions scare them off during the interview, maybe you are better off not working there?

Thinking back to your bad work experiences, was there anything in the interview process or early indication that things were going to go south?

It really is hard to tell what a place is like until you are there. I had one interview where I almost didn't take the job because I disliked the person who would be my boss -- and he turned out to be my favorite boss ever.

Good luck with your job search!

The interviews always seemed to go "well." A couple of jobs ago at the interview, it went really well and the manager even told me she wanted to hire me for her office, but referred me to a different one because she wanted me to have the full time job opportunity. At the time, it hadn't occurred to me that the other office might have an entirely different management style and culture, and those two things really contributed to my poor experience.

My last job also seemed to go well, and at the time I didn't know there were certain red flags in the interview. I remember asking "what does a typical workday look like?" and "what are 3 things an employee can do to be successful?" and I was given really generic answers. The answers were "just show up and do your work." They kept emphasizing things like "just do the work" without stressing how to do the work and what exactly made a person successful. It was for a data entry job where people were getting carpal tunnel and other injuries. After that experience, I've learned why it's important to ask questions for specifics in an appropriate way.

[H3rmit]

Originally Posted by Strive4health

My issues have always revolved around supervisor's expectations. I guess you can say I have had some very poor workplace experiences which have shaped my view of them.

One of my workplaces has a couple of supervisors who couldn't be direct, and I am the type of person who means what I say and say what I mean. I would always ask my supervisor, "is there anything you'd like me to work on?" or I'd ask "do you have any feedback for me?" It was always no, no, and no...that is, until my supervisor felt the need to write me up for such poor performance and then I ended up having a meeting with her supervisor's supervisor (which was nerve-wracking and traumatic).

Another supervisor LOVED working in chaos and if things were disorderly, the better (in spite of him getting into trouble with it all the time). I would clearly express what I needed to do my job well, and even he said I went above and beyond. Then at another job the expectations always changed and were made arbitrarily, and it depended on who you talked to and what day it was and what mood they were in, etc.

I think you can say my issues have revolved around supervisors and their expectations. I've asked in interviews casually "what type of person will the supervisor work best with?" and was just given some generic canned answer.

Flexibility is a bad thing. I mean if they talk about how important it is to be flexible, often they mean they work chaotically and imprecisely, and expect you to go with that. "Flexible" might be a key word that you are hoping not to hear from them. On the other hand, you could ask how rigid or flexible the workplace is. You want to know how they see it. Don't get roped into you defining those terms. You want to know what they think. Just one idea of how to approach these questions.

Then again, I don't think there's any place out there for me, so coming up with screening ideas is very easy for me. It just depends on what is critical for you to screen for. A generic canned answer would be a red flag for me. I expect more intelligence than that. If they don't value what you do, it's not a good match, and sounds like you value order. Unfortunately, a lot of companies are geared to dealing with a rapidly changing marketplace and an entrepreneurial approach and they expect people to thrive on the chaotic non-systems that result. Hence the bias towards young people who were raised with this and can put up with the short attention span multi-tasking.

I don't mean to rant, but you are kind of going against the mainstream here, possibly, as I am. Being direct and specific takes time and/or brain power. Many people aren't offering these in responding to questions. I hope you can find some better quality people to hire you.

[hvert]

H3rmit, you are so right about alarm bells needing to go off if they use the word 'flexible!'

Strive4Health, your last job sounds like my last job. I went in for multiple 2+ hour interviews for what was supposed to be a technical job. I asked specific questions and only got vague answers. It turned out to be 80% manual labor that really wreaked havoc on my wrists. I even job shadowed for a day before I accepted the job, and I still did not have a clear idea of what the place was like until I was there.

I learned from that experience that I need a written job description. I would also use LinkedIn and Facebook to ask former employees about their experiences. There's only so much you can get from an interview, especially if lying is part of the corporate culture.

Asking why your predecessor left can be interesting, too.

[Perna]

I would first work on getting comfortable with myself and my personality and knowing what it is I want. If you feel you do not do well with supervision and want to work alone, etc. then I would take that into account and find a career that gives you most of that. If I got a lot of feedback that "everyone" thought I was too orderly and uptight, I would look harder at that to see if I wanted to work on any of my habits/thought patterns to see if I could fit better with others.

[happiedasiy]

Dear to Strive4 health,

Take your skills to where they will be valued, appreciated, and rewarded!
A interview is for both parties if your stomach churns at the answers of direct questions, listen to your instincts.

Supervisors get nervous when somebody new comes in and disrupts chaos and tries to influence order.

Search out project management positions, consulting positions, cost savings analysis.
Health care claims would be good for you.

Think ahead, do you want to work for someone else, or start a business where you are the boss?

In life today people have many jobs throughout their lives, put past experiences in the past taking what you have learned and move forward.

H.
There is the right position out there waiting for you, if you can't find it today and need to take a job, remind yourself that this is not permanent.

[Strive4health]

Originally Posted by Perna

I would first work on getting comfortable with myself and my personality and knowing what it is I want. If you feel you do not do well with supervision and want to work alone, etc. then I would take that into account and find a career that gives you most of that. If I got a lot of feedback that "everyone" thought I was too orderly and uptight, I would look harder at that to see if I wanted to work on any of my habits/thought patterns to see if I could fit better with others.

I used that approach as well, to the point of even going to counseling to figure out what I could '"fix." Then it turned out, the counselor didn't see anything wrong with me and thought the work environments I was in were chaotic and unprofessional. She had a lot of corporate work experience and saw the good and the bad, so I trusted her judgement. I will be honest, changing who I was and adjusting my personality was really taxing on me, mentally, emotionally and intellectually. It is really difficult to have to be an entirely different person at work. The counselor told me I was in the wrong line of work, so I ditched it and am going elsewhere. My concern is, I'll just encounter the same issues. I experienced similar issues at my last job without the emotional and mental drama. I know there's always going to be some kind of drama, but there is mild workplace drama and then there is CRAZY.