[LimeAid13]

So I applied for a job at a university as a graduate student. Objectively, I am well qualified and highly motivated. In short, I want to be a college professor because 1) I love biochemistry, and 2) college nearly killed me, and I want to help undergrads get through it, and 3) I really love teaching. There is just one problem: I am totally nuts.

I went through about seven levels of hell - including an all night drive through rural Arkansas/Texas - in order to get to the interview. It has been two weeks today. They still haven't made up their minds. I was so mad, I almost emailed them to tell them that I was no longer interested in the position, which by the way, is a lie. I know....I am being completely impatient, immature, irrational, and basically, I am behaving like a child. I know. I'm sorry. But I am so frustrated! I've tried and tried and tried to find a "good" job. I worked on an oil rig, in a swamp collecting mud (seriously), in several restaurants, at an egg roll factory (I hate egg rolls now.), and construction. It just seems like the universe doesn't want me to succeed....(feeling sorry for myself, I know). And I swear, it is not really all about my ego. Of course some part of it is my selfish need to feel successful, but I did really and truly want to make some sort of contribution......I was so upset that I fell into some very maladaptive coping strategies - drinking excessively, self-harm, I ate a dozen cookies, etc...

Then I came here. And I found this community of genuinely caring, supportive people. I am so grateful for the support I've received.

But I'm just wondering: Do any of you feel frustrated like this? Like, I flipped a dude off in traffic today, and I don't usually do that....but he was driving an F250, and he was trying to mate with the back of my Jetta....Does anyone else feel like flipping off the whole world? Do you ever want to go to the top of the tallest building, and scream through a 15000 db PA system "What the F@%*????" Or is it just me?

Ok. I'm done. Thank you for letting me vent here.

[Travelinglady]

LimeAid13, welcome to Psych Central! Obviously I don't know you very well, but I do know that frustration can lead to anger. I am thinking that's what's happening to you. However, you definitely need to be patient about the grad-school position. If you were to contact them in anger, then I think you could kiss your prospects good-bye.

Keep applying to other places if this one does not work out.

And, yes, I have had a few times where I would have liked to tell the whole world off.

[Webgoji]

There are times I wish I had more middle fingers. As a matter of face, right about now I need at least six more ...

So yeah, being frustrated with the world isn't uncommon.

[beauflow]

and yes there's been plenty of times I have felt like flipping off or saying done with the world. Close to that today but trying to remind myself of positive things I like about the world.

Please keep trying at what you love. You seemed to have found a passion of yours with the teaching which is wonderful.

Hang in there.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by LimeAid13

Do you ever want to go to the top of the tallest building, and scream through a 15000 db PA system "What the F@%*????" Or is it just me?
.

That would be AWESOME!! [can it really be done?! ]