Job is adding to my depression..

Ive had problems in my workplace since I started there a few years ago and this year, a few months ago things just got worse. I didnt bother posting. I didnt know what to say. I have to now as Im really kind of talking out loud to people I hope will listen like a counsellor.

I have to work. I have no other support. I work in a fast paced noisy enviroment. I dont think the job itself would be so bad if the company controlled the staff properly. The staff are all inter related except me. I was brought in to scoop up all the overtime they were all sharing. I work both sides to the day (its nature means its 24/7) I am skilled to do both and I know I do my job well. Im beyond reliable and flexible. Punctual, polite, friendly. It has never made any difference. Im not one of them and they have made me suffer. I never know where I am there. I work with all different teams and types of people. Basically Im like the agency staff yet Im not as Im fully employed by the company. In a way the messiness means I have duality, to cope workwise and people wise. So theres the positive.

The negative is that no one there really ever accepts me, resents my hours, resents I get to work good shifts as well as the night ones. I get pushed out and isolated, I get excluded from social happenings. I dont belong to any set or group. I dont get to work with the same people for more than a few shifts.The company lets everyone sort out there own problems with each other. There are different levels of heirarchy based on time with the company and if you are `in' with management. Sadly none of these are the result of you being good at your job. Its a hellish place. Im prone to depression and its making me very sad. I walk head down after a day in there and wont look anyone in the eye. I feel so inferior.

Im very down about this place.For example: I worked with 20 somethings this evening and they use me as a joke. Taking the mickey and sniggering ( despite my age -I could be their mother) Im not their type of person, their age group or from their areas and though Im good at my job they couldnt care less. Then tomorrow I will work with a different mix again and so on. I never feel the same 2 days in a row leaving there. if it was based on my work record alone theyd all be kind to me. and respect me. I know you will say leave and Im trying but its hard there are no jobs out there really.Thanks for reading.

Citrine, my heart breaks for you in reading your words; I, too, know the pain of not being included, of being ostracized and made fun of. I have found the workplace to be worse than the cliques in school. I will never understand why people have to bully others and be so unkind.

Continue to do the good job you are doing and trust that a krapload of karma is comin' their way soon. Keep your head high and know you are loved.

Thanks SadPam and Im sorry you have been through the same. I try not to use the word bullying as people make such light of it when its used in adult situations but yes thats what it is. Another term for the behaviour is workplace interference because instead of keeping their minds on the work they are supposed to be doing they are interfering with the harmony and productivity. Its true in terms of time expended and atmosphere created. Children are silly and juvenile and obvious in their attempts. Adults are clever, devious and subtle and worse your livelihood depends on you staying in employment.

Citrine, I'm sorry your workplace is so unkind(to say it mildly) to you. I don't have it near as bad as you, but I work as a temp and have been a temp with the same company now for two years and am treated like the outcast, too. Fortunately, I don't have to work closely with a lot of people like you do. My heart goes out to you.

Thank you Gaylegg, so kind, I really need that. Im also sorry for you too but glad you arent around the people so much and so get some relief. I have good moments in there, few though. Im reasonably positive most of the time as they are not worth very much if they behave in this silly way, this you arent from our group way. Its childish I know. Naturally though 10/11hrs of it hammers me emotionally thus walking drained with head down. I worry because as a collective, a group of established staff wield power and management will take note of them more than me. I have to ideally go in, be good, work hard, speak little. This is what they would like. As though Im a robot.A workhorse brought in to do the work they dont have to or wont. tssshhh.

In my last contract my supervisors were great but the team was a lot like you are describing...isolating, talking behind my back, shaming and passive aggressive. It was the same team. I couldn't get any peer training and therefore hardly any tasks. It definitely affected my depression although I kept trying to dismiss it.

I realize the economy is bad and the job itself makes it hard but it really would be in your best interest to look. Sometimes the mere act of looking can make you feel better in your current job. In addition, if they are jerks, you don't have to use them as a reference. You can avoid having to ask and not knowing if they will be vindictive. Work is such a time consuming and temporary state. I think having a less hostile work place is incredibly important.

I dont understand why Supervisors (mine included) allow it. Cliques and clusters causing trouble. Id not stand for it. Id split them all up the minute I saw any *****y nonsense. Passive aggression yes thats it.

I am always looking and you are so right, I do feel better, I look forward to looking online it gives me hope. I do it there (on my phone though) Ive considered at times doing any job just to be out from there.

My supervisors made a great effort to solve it. Definitely give them credit for that. Might have been successful too but I didn't think it was enough to become an rft and they didn't want to pay contract rates. There were no hard feelings with the company. I know I was lucky. And...that's why I always do a contract or contract to hire. I am evaluating them too

Im glad you had supportive supervisors. Mine are too involved with the majority of the group (they have know them a long time or know them from somewhere) Its like one big family, bit like the mafia Yes it must be quite good to be on contract hire. You go in do a job for a certain length of time and can stay detached if you wish without them taking offence as you arent there forever and you dont have to feel obligated to be their best buddies.

I'm so glad I found this thread. This is what I'm currently going through and knowing that I'm not alone has helped a lot. Hopefully Citrine you made it out of there. If not, you survived another day which is a reason to smile. 😀😊😄

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