[kay1238]

Today I over heard a work colleague talking about me across the hallway. Asking if I make others ‘uncomfortable’. What I will never understand is ‘why?’ I don’t yell at people, I don’t create scenes and I take my medication. I’m smart enough to know when I have a bad day to lay low. I suppose I will never understand. Yet – I sit here, wondering what I could have done to upset someone this time – what did I do wrong. I’ve spent close to 15 years of my life without a good friend. And any ‘friends’ that I have had are either long out of my life or short-lived. It’s Friday night and from what I have been told will be a beautiful spring weekend. But, like many weekends before this one – I will be spending it alone – probably sitting here at my computer as I always do. What upsets me the most is why I often sit alone -for reasons I have minimal control over, that I have worked to improve for years and, in fact, ashamed to admit. Two small words, two very small words seem to keep me in solitude – mental illness. It’s been 12 years without a consensus diagnosis and a dozen medication combinations. However, there are lots of positive aspects to my life, a decent career, and musical talent. I have a lot going for me – just not what I would want going for me. I find myself thinking about seeing a movie with a friend – to just have a friend. At the end of the day, the only people who will talk to me I have to pay to see. I just wished if people got to know me better, than just the quick glances I often to get. They would see so much more. A doctor once told me that all I really needed was someone to believe in me – why this has never been achieved, I will never understand.

[Strive4health]

I think it's time to ignore what coworkers have to say and address this with your direct supervisor.

The next time you have a review or a sit-down with them about your performance, I would address is tactfully by asking "I would like your feedback about my ability to be a team player. What suggestions do you have for me to be more approachable?" If your supervisor thinks you're doing fine, take it as that. If your supervisor has feedback, process it and figure out how to incorporate it into your working relationships.

I think that coworker was trying to start gossip. Gossip is not something you want to take part in, even if it was about you.

[brainhi]

Hello Kay, you will find a lot of great people here that can identify with you and help you...help yourself. Do not let the label mental illness define who you are. So many have "mental illness"...you are smart enough to try and take care of yourself. You listed some great things about yourself - that is who you are!!!

I hope you learn how to seek out others that have common interests..and music is definitely a plus!!!!

You may already understand that there is always challenges in learning how to work with others..that does not stop..it's how you "manage" your reaction to them.

I know I am different and I am confident in my abilities - no one else at work is going to screw up my day with their shallow opinions - those that matter respect your abilities and that's what matters. I told someone else recently, if a co-worker does something in their job duties that you admire or is helpful to you, let them know - when you are comfortable. When you notice - "good things" about other people and let them know, most will gravitate to you.....we all have to earn respect.

Take care... hope you have a better day