[offthegrid]

I really am terrified of working again. The longest job I have ever had was 2 years and I walked out because I was just exhausted from dealing with the stress and unpredictability of everything. I've been out of there for a few months now and I'm running into some issues.

1) I didn't apply for unemployment because I walked out. How am I going to explain that?!

2) applying for jobs in general is annoying, time consuming and stressful. It just feels like I'm spamming applications and a human isn't even seeing them. Plus that whole situation with me walking out on the last job makes applying fro new jobs tough. How do you even explain that?! To the eyes of any future employer, it looks like I'm flakey and noncommittal. Basically I'm unemployable.

3) My current health insurance coverage I have with my parents is running out this year. Therefore, I need to find a full-time job with decent health coverage. My parents keep letting me know how worried they are about this and it jet stresses me out even more. They want me to get a job. any job. That mentality is what got me at the last sucky job. I don't ever want to just take any and every job that comes along ever again. When I'm stressed I shut down so their nagging just has the opposite effect. These days, I don't even look for a job, I'm just over it now.

4) Fortunately, the job I quit wasn't in the field I have a degree in. The area I want to go into is my passion but the downside is in that field, there is a large component of handling people. While I enjoy actually doing the work, I don't know if I can do people. I'm not assertive enough and that just causes all kinds of issues, I really don't know how to fix that which is bad because I'm going entrepreneurial. I would gladly work for someone else's business as opposed to trying to make it on my own from scratch…but I really am not that good at networking.

So basically, my options as far as work is to do freelance projects. I did get one gig since I've been unemployed but I think I've shot myself in the foot with it. Again, great work but poor people skills, no confidence and I can't handle any kind of stress anymore. I'm not diagnosed with anything so on paper I don't even have an excuse. I think I should just give up and live off of my parents' retirement.

[mycatsmokes]

Having a mental illness can cause a lot of difficulties at work. But not everything can be blamed on illness. I think you definitely need a reality check.

Originally Posted by offthegrid

applying for jobs in general is annoying, time consuming and stressful.

Yes, it is. Welcome to the real world. We are going through the worst economic slowdown since the Great Depression. Applying for jobs now is tough, no matter if one is mentally healthy or not.

Originally Posted by offthegrid

To the eyes of any future employer, it looks like I'm flakey and noncommittal. Basically I'm unemployable.

Not if you lasted two years there. Just say that you decided to leave to look for a more challenging role, and that you think you found it in the job you are interviewing for.

Originally Posted by offthegrid

My current health insurance coverage I have with my parents is running out this year. Therefore, I need to find a full-time job with decent health coverage. My parents keep letting me know how worried they are about this and it jet stresses me out even more. They want me to get a job. any job. That mentality is what got me at the last sucky job. I don't ever want to just take any and every job that comes along ever again. When I'm stressed I shut down so their nagging just has the opposite effect.

Your parents have supported you via providing you with their health insurance and all you can say is that they are nagging you to get your own?? That sounds very, very ungrateful of you. Yes, they want you to get a job and yes, that job may be "sucky". Got news for you - food costs money. Insurance costs money. Sometimes you have to do unenjoyable jobs to be able to pay the bills and support yourself. Big deal!

Originally Posted by offthegrid

I think I should just give up and live off of my parents' retirement.

Oh dear. I don't think that. You have confidence issues, you're not good at networking. I can relate to that - I have social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder and clinical depression. But these don't give you the right to freeload off your parents. Sorry, but you need to think, for your own benefit, about self-reliance and what it means. Morally, and also practially, given that your parents will not be around forever.

[hvert]

Is there anyone from the old job that can give you a good reference? If so, I would not worry too much about the fact that you walked off the last job. Even if not, you can't let worries about quitting your last job affect you. People quit jobs all the time. Come up with a text-book response for when people ask why you left and just be done with that part of your life.

You mention wanting to start a company but not being good at networking. I HIGHLY recommend working on your networking/social skills. These skills are far more important when you are self-employed than when you are working for someone else.

I'm working on those kind of social issues you mentioned by signing up for a lot of interactive events, like Meetups, and signing up for potlucks and other stuff like that offered by some organizations I belong to. At first it was torture, but it is getting easier!

[benson123]

Looking for work is hard and exhausting. I don't know how many jobs I have applied for or resumes and cover letters I have sent out. It's probably in the many hundreds. I have also been on countless interviews that have led to nothing. Don't take it personally. My advice is to work on your resume and come up with some interview answers to be prepared when you get to that point. As far as leaving your last job, can you spin it as lack of opportunities or growth without being untruthful? I'm not suggesting lying at all. You have to make things into a positive. Lack of challenges, more aligned with your degree, etc. I have said things like the position didn't materialize into what I had expected or after starting I realized it wasn't a good fit and after speaking with my supervisor thought it was only fair to myself and the company to resign.
Working on your networking is important too. I'm so shy but I try to use my strengths like being friendly, listening well, etc. I always trying to incorporate any good advice into what I am doing. It is very difficult. I also find working every day difficult. I cry, I get so physically sick with worry, I get shakey, dizzy and sweaty. I don't like it but I don't have a choice. Don't give up on yourself.

[offthegrid]

Originally Posted by mycatsmokes

Having a mental illness can cause a lot of difficulties at work. But not everything can be blamed on illness. I think you definitely need a reality check.


Yes, it is. Welcome to the real world. We are going through the worst economic slowdown since the Great Depression. Applying for jobs now is tough, no matter if one is mentally healthy or not.


Not if you lasted two years there. Just say that you decided to leave to look for a more challenging role, and that you think you found it in the job you are interviewing for.

This is helpful. I suppose a large part of getting through this is in the delivery.

Your parents have supported you via providing you with their health insurance and all you can say is that they are nagging you to get your own?? That sounds very, very ungrateful of you. Yes, they want you to get a job and yes, that job may be "sucky". Got news for you - food costs money. Insurance costs money. Sometimes you have to do unenjoyable jobs to be able to pay the bills and support yourself. Big deal!


Oh dear. I don't think that. You have confidence issues, you're not good at networking. I can relate to that - I have social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder and clinical depression. But these don't give you the right to freeload off your parents. Sorry, but you need to think, for your own benefit, about self-reliance and what it means. Morally, and also practially, given that your parents will not be around forever.

I defiantly don't want to give off the impression that I'm a self entitled millennial who thinks money grows on trees and work isn't necessary. My parents are much more involved and helpful than some and I do appreciate that and let them know on a regular basis.

I don't want to need help, I don't ask for help because you're right, they won't be around forever. If it can't be paid for in cash I do without. When I generate a bill I pay for it. Before I moved in with one of my sisters, I offered to pay them rent but they declined.

When I say "nagging" I mean that their advice is redundant and condescending. I am starting my own business based on my current skill set and I literally CANNOT work when I'm at their house (I can work from anywhere) because they are either taking credit for my ideas that work, not providing logical answers for specific things they claim to know the answers to, telling me that even when I push through my confidence issues and get paid work, I should be doing something totally different and try to micromanage my time.

As far as the jobs that they suggest, they have suggested jobs with a notoriously high turnover rate (i.e. I need to ignore red flags because they say so). They have even suggested that I take senior positions I am totally unqualified for..they have suggested that I apply for my sisters old job that requires 3 degrees and several certifications that would take me 10 years to get and thousands of dollars out of pocket. I don't not listen to their advice to be a whiny brat, their intentions are good but their advice most of the time is just not informed. I spent my youth blindly listening to them at my own detriment. I will be more than glad to not be involved with them financially in any way.

[offthegrid]

Originally Posted by hvert

Is there anyone from the old job that can give you a good reference? If so, I would not worry too much about the fact that you walked off the last job. Even if not, you can't let worries about quitting your last job affect you. People quit jobs all the time. Come up with a text-book response for when people ask why you left and just be done with that part of your life.

You mention wanting to start a company but not being good at networking. I HIGHLY recommend working on your networking/social skills. These skills are far more important when you are self-employed than when you are working for someone else.

I'm working on those kind of social issues you mentioned by signing up for a lot of interactive events, like Meetups, and signing up for potlucks and other stuff like that offered by some organizations I belong to. At first it was torture, but it is getting easier!

As far as contacts from my previous jobs, my boyfriend actually worked there with me for a year (both senior position) so i'm not sure if that would work as a reference? Actually I still keep in contact with a few people there but not actual "supervisors." Interestingly enough, none of them are still there either. Is it better if references are in management specifically?

These skills are far more important when you are self-employed than when you are working for someone else.
I see this is the case. I've noticed that it seems easier to meet/talk to people in one-on-one situations rather than in groups.

[offthegrid]

Originally Posted by benson123

Looking for work is hard and exhausting. I don't know how many jobs I have applied for or resumes and cover letters I have sent out. It's probably in the many hundreds. I have also been on countless interviews that have led to nothing. Don't take it personally. My advice is to work on your resume and come up with some interview answers to be prepared when you get to that point. As far as leaving your last job, can you spin it as lack of opportunities or growth without being untruthful? I'm not suggesting lying at all. You have to make things into a positive. Lack of challenges, more aligned with your degree, etc. I have said things like the position didn't materialize into what I had expected or after starting I realized it wasn't a good fit and after speaking with my supervisor thought it was only fair to myself and the company to resign.
Working on your networking is important too. I'm so shy but I try to use my strengths like being friendly, listening well, etc. I always trying to incorporate any good advice into what I am doing. It is very difficult. I also find working every day difficult. I cry, I get so physically sick with worry, I get shakey, dizzy and sweaty. I don't like it but I don't have a choice. Don't give up on yourself.

Oh yeah, If I said there's not a lot of room for growth at the last job I wouldn't be lying one iota. lol It's certainly not okay to get into a "Why My Job Sucked" speech at an interview or with people I may need to do business with. They may not just take my word for it when I give a simple explanation. It really was more beneficial for my long term goals to not be there but I guess I'm just more concerned that others won't see it that way.