I have been feeling lost and uncertain about myself and what my true purpose in life is. I feel as though I am just existing and not sure where I truly fit or belong in this world.

I wish I knew what I really wanted when I graduated high school in terms of a career and life ambitions. I moved out to California from the east coast with my mom when I turned 18, right after graduating high school. I am now 27 and not only am I not where I hoped I would be at this point in my life but, I feel trapped and stuck. My mom is a Nurse and so, the transition seemed to work out fairly well for her overall.

Once arriving in Cali, I started out at a junior college taking prerequisities towards a Nursing major for which my mom strongly encouraged as she's said many times "Nursing is so broad and vast of a career. You will always have options and be able to find a job and work anywhere you wish." Okay, understandable. However, even when I was still in high school, I wasn't really sure what I wanted to pursue. But, Journalism was always a thought in my mind , as I love to write and admire the art of writing.

But, I wanted to be practical and reasonable about my career decision. And, not to mention , I have developed this fear about amounting to something just from watching my parents.
My mother chose Nursing as a career and became very successful. My father who is also college educated and a lifelong writer (not professionally) went to school for Business Administration, graduated with a Bachelor's in Science and has been struggling and working odd-an-end jobs.

So, I decided maybe take my mother's advice and pursue Nursing. However, I realized I wasn't passionate about pursuing Nursing nor, could I see myself as a Nurse. So, I ended up switching my major to Respiratory Therapy...5 years and 3 programs later. This also wasn't for me. I was just forcing something that I wasn't cut out to do. Anyhow, now, with all my researching of different career paths and trying to find something that will both be worthwhile in the long run and sustain me. I have now decided to try out being a CNA (Nursing Assistant). I figure it is something and it is a start at least. Because I have had 4 part-time Retail jobs in the past few years and I don't want my future to rely on that permanently.

And, now, I am at a crossroads, from slipping in and out of depression, trying to figure out what I really want to do, having 90 plus college credits from three different schools and no degree. And, not only that I feel stuck in my mother's shadow and losing myself in the process. I want to become established and successful just as she is but, I know that I am not her. I am me. But, I am not sure who "Me" is sometimes.

I just long to be my own person, have a life of my own, and be settled.

[dedicated]

I can tell by your posts that you are excellent writer. The way you construct sentences are extra ordinary, they are awesome! Not so many can write the way you do. I think CNA is good for you as you are a great in communication. Your clients will be happy to have you around. I am not sure about journalism, how many business establishments would need journalists, what is the demand percentage?

"I just long to be my own person, have a life of my own, and be settled." You can do it!