[tigerlily84]

I return to work next week after my pdoc signed me off for 4 weeks and I'm nervous about it. I'm still thinking about the question that T gave me at the end of our last session: to think of ways that I can survive at work until I find a new job. Depression has been my biggest concern for a very long time. But this job has made me more anxious than I ever remember being. I also have benefits through this job as well, so if I leave this job I won't have coverage, and I just started meds. I don't want to quit without having another job lined up, but is it really worth the aggravation?

I've never had this much time off before. In fact, I don't remember the last time I took a vacation. Maybe 6 years ago? 7? Not that this time has been a vacation... I've been anxious and depressed almost the entire time. I also feel guilty for being off work, and I really need money. Those are my reasons for going back to work: money and guilt.

I hate my job. I hate the management. I wish I knew what to do. And starting a new job is nerve-wracking as well! I feel like I can't win no matter what I do. Sorry this is long, I'm just venting I guess.

[kaliope]

definitely sounds like you need to find a new job that you enjoy because this job is only going to be adding to your anxiety and depression. and that isn't worth it. looking for a new job is scary. t gave you a good assignment and I would put some thought into that as you are going to have to figure out how to cope at work whle you are finding a new job. look for the positives in your current job and focus on those things. take care.