[BrliPerDis]

Yesterday was my first day back to work and anxiety and panic attacks were running me down and over. I could barely do my job correctly and parts of me didnt care as much if it was correct. I struggled so bad and when i came home i ate posted and tried to relax and struggled to sleep. My body was so tried i missed my meeting to AA in the morning from waking up late. I slept 9 and a half hours, and still feel tired. I need to do so much where i told myself this morning its ok dont beat yourself up. Just do what you need to do to mentally survive the day, and there is always tomorrow. So I washed a load of clothes, and am about to clean my room, then go to work. Its not that i missed an important mental relief, or a calming moment for my life. But i did for myself today. To me thats important ive been focusing on my mental instablity where i almost forgot about my physical. Work was a huge wake up call to that and always relizing that therer is tomorrow, and with how fast my life is going now i need that wakeup call. Today will be a better day still, and tomorrow will be a good day. I cannot let my mental self take over with depression. And this is the true fight with myself. Get up do it and live. I know it will take time but as long as i have these outlets of other peoples stories, then i know that i can make it cause i no longer feel alone... Thank you all for posting i still feel like i make it to AA from the support that you all give me. And the answers that you show me through your stories.

[Travelinglady]

Thanks for the report and the good advice!

[Mustkeepjob32]

It sounds like you're telling yourself encouraging things to keep up your resolve. Congratulations on going back to work! Your post was encouraging.

[dedicated]

You are a model BrliPerDis, I am so proud of you! Yes, one day at a time will lead you where you want to be. Carry on.

[BrliPerDis]

Thank you after that first step my mind wants to take two back and its hard not to give in. but im forcing myself

[dedicated]

That's what I always said: every forward step I make, I get pulled down to a deeper hole and could hardly get out again but I had to accept that I am prone to challenges in life that the more I overcome, the harder challenges come. We are not challenged with something that the challenger knows we can't overcome.