[Rayne Selene]

So, I just started a new nanny job in August. I don't like it. The family seemed really nice, they have three preschool aged boys, and the parents were very open and friendly. But since I've started, it's just been one thing on top of another.
A) The older boy is very big for his age. I strongly suspect he may have Oppositional Defiant Disorder and may be Autistic as well. He is very hard to manage, and frequently leaves bruises on me from kicking/hitting/etc.
B) The parents' discipline philosophy and mine are very different. They don't use the word no. They don't use time outs. They don't discipline! The boys refuse to listen to me because they "don't want to". I'm the nanny, I only have the tools of discipline that the parents give me. I have no tools. I have a very hard time managing these two.They run wild and crazy and I'm exhausted from chasing them down and removing them to more "constructive" activities.
C) The mom is a control freak. She seems so nice! Which is why this is so confusing. Each day when I come to work, there's a new rule. The boys must get outdoor exercise every day during my shift. Okay. No cell phone/texting/phone calls. Well, all right. Most parents don't have an issue with the nanny answering a text here or there, but no biggie. Please wash hands every day before shift. Um? Okay. Please wipe down bathrooms so they don't smell like pee after the boys use it. Please write down everything you do with the boys during the day. Please write down exact times of everything you do with the boys during the day. Please be sure boys also get some quiet time. Please wipe down the kitchen. Please cook dinner. Please do art with the boys. Please clean playroom. EVERY DAY THERE'S A NEW RULE AND I'M GOING CRAZY.

I'm just having a really hard time keeping up with this family. I'm constantly exhausted. The boys don't know how to self-entertain, because the mom wants you to be constantly "stimulating" them. I don't want to continue this job, but I also feel terrible about wanting to quit--I just started! The family said they were hoping to find someone who can stay with them for years. I told them I was looking for a long-term position. The thing is, I don't think we fit. The family is much more active than I am, and keeping up with the boys' activities is really wearing on me. I don't think I can provide for the special needs of the oldest boy. And my discipline philosophy is just so different from that of the parents'. I don't know what to do now. Should I quit? How should I do it? I would appreciate any input :/

[hvert]

I would give them a two week notice. Keep it short and sweet.

Mr. and Mrs. Whatever,

Please consider this my two week notice. I can work for you until 10/10/2014.

Sincerely,
Rayne Selene

Don't add any reasons to your written notice (and save a copy for yourself). If they ask, just tell them that you feel it isn't a good fit. Don't go into details. They will probably be angry and won't take anything you say to heart, so don't waste your breath.

I'm assuming you don't need the job, so if you do, maybe give quitting a second thought -- but this sounds like a really terrible situation. The kid attacks you and the parents can't say no? The mother sounds very difficult.

They probably gave you that spiel about wanting someone to stay long term because they can't get anyone to stay more than a month

[pegasus]

If you realise the job is not suitable for you, it is best to quit as soon as possible. It is likely from the sounds of it that the demands from the parents will get more and more as time goes on and I can't see this working longterm if there are massive differences in how to discipline the children. Yes do a resignation letter and move on.