[potassium benzoate]

I'm just looking for any advice and input on my situation. tl;dr I have severe anxiety and couldn't defend myself from termination. Now I can't take care of my affairs properly.

It's been two weeks since I was fired. I'm a total wreck. I made an appointment to see a counselor the day I was fired because I know it's beyond me to cope. I can't see anyone until next week and it's such an agonizing wait. It's not bad enough for the ER, too bad to wait weeks. This system sucks.

And beyond that, I think people from work mistreated me. See, I have crippling social anxiety. I can't defend myself even under the best circumstances. With all this additional stress, I was barely able to communicate with bosses and HR.

I was fired and while I think it was harsh, I don't think it was illegal or anything. I was really upset, some of it had to do with work, but most of it had to do with personal life. I sort of trashed my cubicle after hours and left.

I wouldn't have even been there except I had no where else to go. I was on the outs with my family. I live alone and I didn't think I should be by myself. My anxiety really restricts where I can go. I'm basically a shut-in except for work.

So they fired me. Fine. But they totally isolated me from my department physically and socially. They wouldn't let me come down for my stuff or to say goodbye. None of my coworkers have any idea what happened. Nobody told them.

Here's what you have to understand: I'm really attached to everyone in my department. I basically have no one else. So one day I trash the place and disappear. Of course nobody reaches out to me because they think I did it because I'm disgruntled. Meanwhile I'm sitting at home thinking everybody hated me because they don't call. I didn't learn until yesterday that they were worried about me the whole time. I didn't tell them until yesterday how much I cared for them.

And nobody from HR told me any info about money or benefits. I've never been fired before. I have no idea how unemployment, COBRA, or anything works. I work for a corporation with about 1,000 people. I called and emailed the HR guy multiple times but I know he was ignoring me. I have to see the doctor next week and I need to know how to pay for it. I figured since I wouldn't get severance, I wouldn't get unemployment. But then I learned that the state makes that decision. I needed to know that last week!

Of course, I struggle to convey any of this stuff to the leadership because of my nerves. I wasn't able to explain all the reasons I did what I did. I was way too chicken to go down to HR in person. It's a lot easier to ignore voice mails than a person standing there. I'm absolutely defenseless and vulnerable when I get like that. It's like I never even had a chance.

I feel really terrible for what I did. I feel terrible in addition to how terrible I would have felt otherwise. Getting fired made my anxiety quadruple. I can't go to the store now or take care of myself. And this is a time when I need to take care of myself. There's no way I can go through the unemployment insurance process.

And nobody at work has been helping me. I wrote a letter to the vice president about how they just totally cut me off from all contact. Was that appropriate? I don't think it's okay to do that to a person who is clearly suffering. I've never made trouble before and I've always done well at work. It should have been clear that I was going through some personal crap and needed to be handled with compassion.

I'll tell you any details you need to know. If people just give there perspective or advice, that'd be helpful.

THANK YOU!

[blackmagic]

I am in the same boat, I was terminated recently and I'm not doing well. They said I didn't match from a personality standpoint, and that is was a culture misfit. For as much as they talk about "company culture," none of them were there for me when I was going through some personal ****, and as soon as I fixed part of my situation, I was left go.

I'm not sure how to help, but I'm to listen if you need - send me a pm

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

One would have hoped they would have been kinder to someone with problems, but perhaps you have scared them with your trashing of your cubicle (we have all been tempted!) and stream of correspondence.

Perhaps you could think of it as being set free and at least losing work-related anxiety. All the same you need to take care of business - in the UK there a charity called Citizens Advice that helps people cope with getting their rights - perhaps there is something similar in your region?

[hvert]

That is standard protocol when firing someone, so you weren't singled out or anything and even if you had explained yourself, it probably would have ended that way. Hopefully that will make you feel a bit better?

Sometimes that will happen even if you quit a job with two week notice. I had security walk me out the door once and wait for me to get into my car and drive away --- and I had quit because I accepted another job!

Not sure where you are, but the unemployment process can all be done online where I am and is not too bad. It's just a lot of waiting. You don't have to deal with people if you don't want to, and you sure don't have to deal with your former company. You should be getting letters in the mail about COBRA and all that. They have to send those out within a certain time period.

[Bluesday]

Almost everyone deals with a termination at some point in their life, so you're not alone. When it happened to me earlier this year, I was almost relieved to be done with the grind for awhile. It took a couple months of "recovering" from work before I felt any loss. Try to look ahead and focus on a solution.

[potassium benzoate]

thanks guys

Originally Posted by hvert

Hopefully that will make you feel a bit better?

I don't know if it makes me feel better or not. If getting fired is always like this then it makes me feel that much more weird for handling it so poorly.

This is my first full time job. I didn't even think I could ever have a real job. I was SO PROUD to work like a regular, upstanding citizen. I know that I'll get over it eventually. I know it's only because I'm so upset right now but at this moment I wish they just took me behind the HR building and shot me. It feels like it's all over for me anyway and at least that way they'd know what they're doing to me.

I know it's not always going to be this bad but that's how it feels right now. I'm surprised by how much losing a job hurts!

Originally Posted by blackmagic

I'm not sure how to help, but I'm to listen if you need - send me a pm

I can't send pms because of my post count.

We're probably feeling some similar things. I feel so rejected. I feel like a total loser. I'm also surprised by little they've been there for me.

Are your finances in trouble now? I'm lucky to have one less thing on my plate in that I've got savings.

Did you like your job? What kind of place was it?

I LOVED my job because I LOVED the people. But it's a very corporate place with a lot of employees. Professionalism comes before humanity. Like, it would have been better for everyone if my boss just fired me over coffee. A formal meeting scares the crap out of me.

[hvert]

I don't think you are handling this poorly -- it's a pretty normal reaction. Plus, you had other stuff going on. I asked to be fired at a job because I wanted severance and unemployment and it's a really gross feeling.

[mdogboy1]

I too have just been fired. I received severance so I have some time to get a new job. But in my situation I feel like I'm falling. Emotionally it's been 5 days and I think I'm still just stunned.

Hold on, I know things will get better. You just feel like crap right now.