[betaSpirit]

Hi people,

I am a male and I live in one office room with another male co-worker. For some unexplainable reason that I will try to express in the next paragraph I constantly get an awkward ugly feeling which can be described like I want so deeply to tell him: "I don't want to talk to you. Can you please leave me alone in my peace and silence ?". The more he tries to initiate conversation, the stronger becomes this feeling. This feeling tires me out. I regain my energy during weekend and then I lose it during the week.

I will try to express what triggers that intense "I don't want to talk to you" feeling which is really so devastating for my psyche... I will try to tell you what I hate without constrains. I will number the points below:

1. His supervisor comes to our office and they start to chit and chat about politics or their next smartphone purchase. What I hate most is that they compete who is the more knowledgeable and authoritative between the 2. Supervisor is trying to involve me in the discussion. BUT I AM TRYING TO FOCUS ON MY OWN STAFF AND MY OWN WORK. I DO NOT WANT TO INVOLVE IN SUCH AN EGOCENTRIC DISCUSSION.

2. When he reads something funny in the internet he laughs out so loudly. I don't care and I don't want to catch up with his story. I have my own thoughts....

3. He turns his radio on and quite loud. Sometimes he leaves it on even when he goes out of the office. Hell.

4. He makes nervous unnecessary noises. He is tapping his pen repeatedly, he pushes things, he pushes chairs he throws box-files. I feel his nervousness all over the place.

5. In random intervals he breaks the silence by slamming his hand on the desk or sighing so loudly and deeply like he is trying to shout out how bored he is. This is all so pathetic. I am getting sick when it happens. The adrenalin is pumping into my blood, I become angry and pissed.

6. I wouldn't mention the phone calls with his wife and others talking ********. This is the least that bothers me.

7. When somebody is gossiping about another colleague I feel in the corner of his eye that he likes when another colleague is in weak position even if he tries to show sympathy. He is so Ego-Centric. He likes to show that he knows more, that he is something.

8. He treats workers without respect. On the phone, he complains to his banker, mobile phone provider, he uses his strong position as a customer to play the game of the superior towards these workers with an authoritative tone.

9. He uses that authoritative tone also when clients are in weak position. I hate it. I hate it. When he has the law with his part he plays the asshole.

I don't ****ing want to talk with him or his supervisor. I don't like his mentality. But I feel he gets nervous about it. My life is in a constant hell. It is like, the adrenalin is pumping into my blood every time he does any of the above points. I hate his moody face and I know that he hates me for not talking to him. But I don't want to talk to him but at least I try to wear a smile on my face. I hate his moody face. I don't know guys. I am not that into him or something. I am stuck.

Thank you guys for your understanding and reading about my issue....
...beta....
--------------------------------------

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by betaSpirit

Hi people,

I am a male and I live in one office room with another male co-worker. For some unexplainable reason that I will try to express in the next paragraph I constantly get an awkward ugly feeling which can be described like I want so deeply to tell him: "I don't want to talk to you ...But I don't want to talk to him but at least I try to wear a smile on my face. I hate his moody face. I don't know guys. I am not that into him or something. I am stuck.

Thank you guys for your understanding and reading about my issue....
...beta....
--------------------------------------

Yeah, we all meet people like that - I just tell them disgusting, filthy, sick jokes, they don't want to talk to me after that. But then I am the winner of the 1976 All Royal Air Force dirty story competition.

[hvert]

This is a really common problem in open space environments. You are not alone in feeling this way.

Is wearing headphones an option?

Can you install a partition or a higher partition if there already is one? That does not eliminate the noise issue, but it may make him stop trying to drag you into his conversations.

It's okay to say that you need to focus on your work and to ask him to refrain from interrupting you.

I'm sorry this is going on. He sounds like a real jerk. Work is hard enough without the interruptions, nevermind being bothered. I can relate to the 'adrenaline pumping' when coworkers won't leave me alone I get really angry. Wish I had something more helpful to say.

[CosmicRose]

Originally Posted by betaSpirit

1. His supervisor comes to our office and they start to chit and chat about politics or their next smartphone purchase. What I hate most is that they compete who is the more knowledgeable and authoritative between the 2. Supervisor is trying to involve me in the discussion. BUT I AM TRYING TO FOCUS ON MY OWN STAFF AND MY OWN WORK. I DO NOT WANT TO INVOLVE IN SUCH AN EGOCENTRIC DISCUSSION.

2. When he reads something funny in the internet he laughs out so loudly. I don't care and I don't want to catch up with his story. I have my own thoughts....

3. He turns his radio on and quite loud. Sometimes he leaves it on even when he goes out of the office. Hell.

4. He makes nervous unnecessary noises. He is tapping his pen repeatedly, he pushes things, he pushes chairs he throws box-files. I feel his nervousness all over the place.

5. In random intervals he breaks the silence by slamming his hand on the desk or sighing so loudly and deeply like he is trying to shout out how bored he is. This is all so pathetic. I am getting sick when it happens. The adrenalin is pumping into my blood, I become angry and pissed.

6. I wouldn't mention the phone calls with his wife and others talking ********. This is the least that bothers me.

7. When somebody is gossiping about another colleague I feel in the corner of his eye that he likes when another colleague is in weak position even if he tries to show sympathy. He is so Ego-Centric. He likes to show that he knows more, that he is something.

8. He treats workers without respect. On the phone, he complains to his banker, mobile phone provider, he uses his strong position as a customer to play the game of the superior towards these workers with an authoritative tone.

9. He uses that authoritative tone also when clients are in weak position. I hate it. I hate it. When he has the law with his part he plays the asshole.

#1. When he tries to involve you in that conversation, say "I have no opinion on that." and continue working.

#2. Ignore him or say "Sorry man can you be a little quieter I'm trying to focus."

#3. Say "Sorry man can you turn off your radio its too loud and I'm trying to focus." When he leaves the room with his radio on, turn it off.

#4. Ignore him or say "Whoa man, you alright? Chill."

#5. Next time he sighs loudly say "Dude, go outside if you need a break."

#6. "Take that outside."

#7. Ignore him or crack a joke about old lady office gossip. Say something like, "Can I join your knitting circle?" next time he gossips about a coworker.

#8. Ignore this, can't do much about how he chooses to treat his service providers. Eventually someone will teach him how to respect others. My mom never respected anyone who was serving her, one time she practically insulted a Walmart employee and the employee just walked away. That's their job to not be pushed around.

#9. Talk to your supervisor about his "authoritative tone" when handling customers. Or ignore it.

#10. Either ignore all of his actions or talk to him about it.

[betaSpirit]

Originally Posted by hvert

This is a really common problem in open space environments. You are not alone in feeling this way.

Is wearing headphones an option?
........

Thank you for your words. I will try this method because I see many people suggesting it !

Originally Posted by GreenMoss

..... Wish I had something more helpful to say.

Your words are already helpful. Thank you !

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

Yeah, we all meet people like that - I just tell them disgusting, filthy, sick jokes, they don't want to talk to me after that.....

I wish I could do that. I really don't know what is going inside me. I just don't like to be around some people. Then I feel guilty and that I am being bad.... Hell!

Originally Posted by CosmicRose

#1. When he tries to involve you in that conversation, say "I have no opinion on that." and continue working.

#2. Ignore him or say "Sorry man can you be a little quieter I'm trying to focus."

#3. Say "Sorry man can you turn off your radio its too loud and I'm trying to focus." When he leaves the room with his radio on, turn it off.

#4. Ignore him or say "Whoa man, you alright? Chill."

#5. Next time he sighs loudly say "Dude, go outside if you need a break."

#6. "Take that outside."

#7. Ignore him or crack a joke about old lady office gossip. Say something like, "Can I join your knitting circle?" next time he gossips about a coworker.

#8. Ignore this, can't do much about how he chooses to treat his service providers. Eventually someone will teach him how to respect others. My mom never respected anyone who was serving her, one time she practically insulted a Walmart employee and the employee just walked away. That's their job to not be pushed around.

#9. Talk to your supervisor about his "authoritative tone" when handling customers. Or ignore it.

#10. Either ignore all of his actions or talk to him about it.
[/indent]

I really don't want to talk to him. There are no words to describe how I feel. He gets in my nerves for no legitimate reason. I tried to number some reasons from 1 to 10 in my previous post but I am not sure whether I am being too obsessed with him. I don't like his face.

What I hate is that tomorrow I will have to repeat the same pantomime performance once again.

What I plan to do is to plot a way to escape into another office. But again moving into another office is not an option because all offices in the building are full. I am trying to keep my depression at low levels so I can thrive through work politics...



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[kim_johnson]

Ah, the joys of having to share an office.

Sounds like... You are basically focused on doing your job / being professional... And it pisses you off that he is focused on... Expressing his boredom or playing what I like to call 'happy puppy' games. You know, the clambering over each other that puppies do when they are trying to get to be all mushed in the middle as 'top dog'.

When that happens... I feel like a cat. Aloof. My emotion is... Distaste. It isn't that I don't like people who do all that, exactly... Oh, wait. Yes, it is. I don't have any time for it. I won't do it.

Autistic Spectrum Disorder says that... Just possibly... Just maybe... I actually.... Can't.

Can you try and put in a plug for your own work space / sharing a work space with someone more introverted because you feel you will be more PRODUCTIVE if this is the case? I guess it is impossible to do this if you can't ask it of someone who understands where you are coming from on this.

I feel for you (insofar as I understand you). For sure. I... Wouldn't last the week.

[Mrs. Mania]

I hear ya,work sucks enough without coworkers. Added, they make it damn near impossible. I try to keep to myself as much as possible.

[unaluna]

I asked for another desk once because of an annoying coworker, and my boss told me they didnt have another desk. I was like, "are you serious? This is a university! We are in the desk business!! All we have are desks!!" My boss did not see the irony. I thought my observation was effin hilarious. Not that this helps you, except to tell you i feel your pain.

[betaSpirit]

Dear kim! I didnt understand why u mentioned "autistic spectrum". I doubt this is the case simply because somebody is feeling like a dog and another feels lile a cat. If u feel lile a cat it doesnt mean that u are autistic. U just are different or u want to focus on your career and business plans. A plug is not possible other than an ear plug!.

Thanks Maria. Yeah ur words are cool. Why dont they realise that it was not me who chose to be with them and act a bit more proffessionally.

Hi hankster. Thanks for sharing ur own story. Yes man u r greatly helping me!

Actually u are all awsome in this community! Glad i belong to u and i feel it! Thank u so much! I love u guys!

[shortandcute]

Well, it probably doesn't help much that you both LIVE in the same office you both work at.....