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Old Feb 08, 2015, 12:21 AM
einsam's Avatar
einsam einsam is offline
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Location: Minneapolis, MN
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Can those of us who struggle socially still succeed even if we're not well above-average in intelligence to compensate? I often worry I won't.

Even more than a lifetime of solitude, I'm afraid of a lifetime of failure and winding up poor, dependent on an ailing parent, and having worked in vain for years to obtain a degree or certifications that I'll never use. Afraid that no matter how hard I study, I will never be seen as a desirable employee for the same reasons that I have no friends, professional contacts I was personally introduced and recommended to don't return my e-mails, and online friends avoid me after meeting me in-person.

I'm not a misanthropic person. I don't think other people are boring. I've never been in a confrontation at my current part-time workplace, even while my coworker has. I've spent many years improving my social skills and reading already in the hopes of gaining some traction, but now I'm more worried that I'm simply trapped from birth and all this work is just a way to fool myself that I'm not.

I have an eye for detail and care deeply about the work that I do, but I worry that won't be enough when there are people out there likable enough to have friends, people everyone wants to talk to, and many who could light up a workplace. Some of those are smart and competent, too.

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  #2  
Old Feb 08, 2015, 12:31 AM
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kim_johnson kim_johnson is offline
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I think there is, but it can take some time to find something suitable. Some employers are more interested in collecting happy bubbly flirty people... Those employers typically got where they did because of...

Well...

There are employers out there who value people getting on with the job. If you are able to work without people standing over you... Then some employers would view this as a valuable skill, indeed. Especially since much work can be done (by computer) at home. Save the commute... Save the office environment etc...

What field are you in?
  #3  
Old Feb 08, 2015, 12:43 AM
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einsam einsam is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: Minneapolis, MN
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kim_johnson View Post
I think there is, but it can take some time to find something suitable. Some employers are more interested in collecting happy bubbly flirty people... Those employers typically got where they did because of...

Well...

There are employers out there who value people getting on with the job. If you are able to work without people standing over you... Then some employers would view this as a valuable skill, indeed. Especially since much work can be done (by computer) at home. Save the commute... Save the office environment etc...

What field are you in?
I noticed that in retail in the past, that it may or may not matter whether someone is competent as long as they can curry favor. Some of them were also good employees who kept everything running and everyone else in a good mood, but there were plenty who slacked off and mistreated customers - including the disabled. I often wound up helping them instead, sometimes while my manager glared daggers at me but told me that was indeed what I should be doing at the time.

I'm entering the IT field professionally and taking some classes before I pursue certifications. I know there's the "nerdy stereotype" of socially inept people... but that's untrue. Many instructors and students alike are confident, intelligent, and energetic.
  #4  
Old Feb 08, 2015, 03:28 PM
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kim_johnson kim_johnson is offline
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Member Since: May 2008
Posts: 1,225
if you want to sell things to people in person then you need to be a people person, yeah. I heard pharma likes to recruit it's sales, sorry 'education' people from high school / college cheerleaders, and the like.

most of the real nerdy IT people probably aren't involved in teaching IT. being a teacher requires you to get on with people, again.

computers have become a 'cool' thing to do in some kind of a way... but if you find yourself working in a company... you might well find that you work for people who don't even care if you come into the office (why bother about office space?) if you get your work done at home etc.
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