[annoyedgrunt84]

I'm still living at home. When I think about leaving I sometimes feel a sense of anxiety bordering on panic about leaving. I work at a small museum in my hometown which doesn't have the budget to pay me more than minimum wage so I don't have the money for my own place. I like my job and my boss is patient with me (probably to a fault). It's basically no stress. It also allows me to use knowledge and skills that I have, so I'm reluctant to find other employment. I have a degree and have been to graduate school (though I never finished another source of guilt and regret for me). But I feel like such a loser. I'm Also sentimental about my parents house, maybe because it's the one place I've always felt safe and comfortable, and the fact that my Dad built it with his own two hands, plus my Mom and my sister helped, plus when I got old enough in my teenage years I helped build on to it and remodel it. The last time I lived on my own was when I had my (major) meltdown, (Ended up in a psych ward for four days) and I just haven't felt the same since. I was desperately lonely, living alone, and wanted to come home but I pushed on for another year and a half living on my own. Mostly with the help and encouragement of a good therapist. I always said that if the paleontology thing didn't work out I wanted to move to New England and pursue my woodworking, (I've been fascinated with the New England states since I was a teenager). Now though when I go online and look for jobs in shops in New England I feel a sense of near panic about leaving. I've been Looking at a couple jobs teaching shop here but the thought of teaching high schoolers doesn't sit with me, mostly because I'm screwed up and they'd pick up on that in 2 seconds and tear me apart. I didn't get my Masters degree and I have already tried teaching at the college here and I screwed that up so that option is probably already off the table.

[Little Lulu]

You will only see yourself a loser if you compare your life to what you think you 'should' be doing. Maybe you are exactly where you are meant to be at this point in your life.

My nephew had a major breakdown in his early 20's, moved back in with his parents and took a job with a big box store even though he has a degree. He is now in his 40's and doing well. He isn't living the 'typical' life but I'm not sure typical even exists any longer. I certainly don't consider him a failure.

I hope you have some space where you live to pursue woodworking as a hobby ... you don't have to move to New England to do that.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by annoyedgrunt84

I always said that if the paleontology thing didn't work out I wanted to move to New England and pursue my woodworking, (I've been fascinated with the New England states since I was a teenager). Now though when I go online and look for jobs in shops in New England I feel a sense of near panic about leaving. I've been Looking at a couple jobs teaching shop here but the thought of teaching high schoolers doesn't sit with me, mostly because I'm screwed up and they'd pick up on that in 2 seconds and tear me apart. I didn't get my Masters degree and I have already tried teaching at the college here and I screwed that up so that option is probably already off the table.

Were I you, I would enjoy living at home, talk with your parents about you helping them age in place (would be a great relief to them!) and do a bit of study about how to help aged parents (I Googled: "helping parents age in place" and got lots of great hits).

I would look into woodworking course workshops given in New England and maybe attend some so you get the woodworking and the New England both in doses you can deal with? Woodworking Schools - New England School of Architectural Woodworking - Career Training for Cabinetmakers

If you feel really bad about living in your parents home, I would look into the new "tiny house" craze and, if there is enough property, build your own space in your parents backyard and maybe get a new skill/occupation you could apply where you are? Build A Tiny House - TinyHouseBuild.com

[annoyedgrunt84]

I think you hit on something with watching my parents age. My Dad is only 5-6 years from the age his father was when he died. That thought comes to my mind several times a week. I don't know if it causes me much distress but I definitely think about it. My Mom is physically disabled and wouldn't be able to live on her own. I will definitely look into woodworking schools. I really have been looking at one in Boston it's just that money really is an object for me. I also have been trying to practice my craft in the garage though I get frustrated some days because it's so cramped.

[CosmicRose]

Well I'm not quite sure exactly how you would move to New England if you're applying for jobs out there, for example, say you were offered a job in New England - you would need to travel there and stay with someone or have quite a bit of money to live off of for a month while you worked at the new job and saved up, etc. So no wonder you're feeling panic and anxiety about that, it doesn't sound like you've really thought through the details. You don't need to move states to find yourself. You can definitely find a better paying job in the area that you're living. You have a degree, which is great. So use it where you are. I don't have a degree and there are certain jobs I've found on job hunting websites that offer more than minimum wage that don't require degrees. You just need to use your imagination and find places that are hiring and match your wage requirements so you can move out. This is very do-able. Whenever you feel like you need to move somewhere in order to be happy, just notice that might be your subconscious trying to move away from the situation rather than the location.