I didn't know where to put this so sorry if it's in the wrong place.

I borrowed $1000 from a friend earlier this year to fund a business venture. Basically I wanted to drop ship goods on eBay but the idea failed because I got my eBay account suspended because my growth exploded (I went from 10 items a month to nearly 500 in a few days) and they were asking me a bunch of questions like I owned a big corporation which I didn't so I tried to answer them and they banned me from selling which has killed my primary source of income.

Since then, my mental health has taken a turn for the worst. I could have easily made $4k-6k a month off that method but now I struggle to make anything. I've obtained so much debt over the course of the last few years mainly off failed business ventures but also off bipolar spending sprees and a hospital stay a couple of years ago. I have a hard time holding a regular job and am struggling trying to get by with odd jobs.

It's pretty sad that I'm only 23 years old and I will likely need to file bankruptcy before the end of the year because of my chronic screw ups.

My credit is pretty much ruined as it and most of my income is unstable because I don't work a regular job so getting a loan would be almost impossible.

I've been so afraid to tell my friend about my failures that I changed my phone number and went into hiding and even deactivated my Facebook account. The only other way that he could possibly reach me was my Skype but I closed out of it 2 months ago. Luckily he lives half way across the world and is so busy with school that he wouldn't have the time to come down and see me.

He specifically told me that he wanted the money by Aug which is why this is something that has put more unneeded stress in my life.

My first plan was to hide from him until I get back on my feet financially and then make up some BS lie like how I was in the hospital and had no internet there or how somebody tried to kill me just to garner sympathy from him before paying him back.

I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

Dishonesty is not how to repay someone who has lent you money. And it will make you feel guilty. Ruin the friendship. Stress you out more. Not a good idea. Tell him the truth and ask what you can to do pay him back. It needn't be money. It could be (off the top of my head, I realise he lives far from you) teaching him the guitar, computer lessons, painting his kitchen, help with a project..... In business, big or small, you live and die by your reputation. Make it a good one. And get some financial advice from organisations that help with start ups. Good luck!

[tipper1492]

I would guess you can X him off as being a friend. I would guess even if you could borrow money, you could not pay that back as well. I would guess your Bipolar disorder has caused you many of these fascinations about making money, and perhaps your realities were a bit, if not completely off the board. I don't know if you have a psychiatrist, and are on working medications, and not self medicating which screws up your meds. If you have a psychiatrist, I would get back with him/her, and you might need a psychologist to talk all this over with. I believe you at least need to talk to someone with experience in financial matters. Most probably changes need to be made.

[LiteraryLark]

I agree, dishonesty is never the way to go. I learned this the hard way, as well as two of my former friends.

1. My two former friends spent years being homeless, then they settled down into an apartment in a shady area with even shadier room mates who frequently stole from them and because of drug addictions, etc the room mates could not come up with their share of the rent. The male friend had a promising job, but he barely survived with his friends dependent on him and he might as well have stayed homeless.

2. Secondly, because they were strapped for cash, they used me as a personal taxi driver driving them around to do their grocery shopping or pursue free crap they found on craigslist. Sometimes they were able to pay me, sometimes they asked if they can pay me back and sometimes they did and sometimes they didn't. With the girl, she had absolutely no concept of what money meant as she was disabled, and often times she'd ask me to buy her things and I would knowing she would never pay me back.

3. After much drama, I finally cut them off financially and cut them out of my life. They were full of drama and I hated the fact that I let them borrow money knowing they weren't going to pay me back. So in your case, don't be like my two friends. Pay your friend back no matter at what costs. Ask if he will accept monthly payments. Get a part-time job, any job that will hire you. Work hard to pay your friend back. Please, $1000 is a LOT of money to borrow and there are even greater consequences if you don't. If he's that kind of guy, he can very well sue you and you can go to jail. That's not a reason to hide from this. You HAVE to pay him back. Don't look for a reason not to. You made a promise that you have to keep. IF YOU ARE HONEST FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, EVERYTHING WILL WORK IN YOUR FAVOR.

Let me repeat that.

IF YOU ARE HONEST FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, EVERYTHING WILL WORK IN YOUR FAVOR.

[eeyorestail]

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

I agree, dishonesty is never the way to go. I learned this the hard way, as well as two of my former friends.

1. My two former friends spent years being homeless, then they settled down into an apartment in a shady area with even shadier room mates who frequently stole from them and because of drug addictions, etc the room mates could not come up with their share of the rent. The male friend had a promising job, but he barely survived with his friends dependent on him and he might as well have stayed homeless.

2. Secondly, because they were strapped for cash, they used me as a personal taxi driver driving them around to do their grocery shopping or pursue free crap they found on craigslist. Sometimes they were able to pay me, sometimes they asked if they can pay me back and sometimes they did and sometimes they didn't. With the girl, she had absolutely no concept of what money meant as she was disabled, and often times she'd ask me to buy her things and I would knowing she would never pay me back.

3. After much drama, I finally cut them off financially and cut them out of my life. They were full of drama and I hated the fact that I let them borrow money knowing they weren't going to pay me back. So in your case, don't be like my two friends. Pay your friend back no matter at what costs. Ask if he will accept monthly payments. Get a part-time job, any job that will hire you. Work hard to pay your friend back. Please, $1000 is a LOT of money to borrow and there are even greater consequences if you don't. If he's that kind of guy, he can very well sue you and you can go to jail. That's not a reason to hide from this. You HAVE to pay him back. Don't look for a reason not to. You made a promise that you have to keep. IF YOU ARE HONEST FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, EVERYTHING WILL WORK IN YOUR FAVOR.

Let me repeat that.

IF YOU ARE HONEST FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, EVERYTHING WILL WORK IN YOUR FAVOR.

I agree you should be honest with your friend. And LiteraryLark is correct that the friend could possibly sue for the money. But no, you cannot be sent to jail for owing someone money. It is a civil matter, not a criminal one. (There are some exceptions, such as child support.)

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[Perna]

I have been a money lender and agree you should contact and tell him. He probably already knows you are not going to pay him back because of your hiding. But, the hiding makes him think less of you; you are not a "friend" to him with your immature actions. You told us what happened, I would contact him and tell him, he's the one who matters, who cared about you in the first place enough to lend you the money. Care back and tell him what happened.

[Aviza]

Why not make a payment arrangement. You could afford $50-$100 a month most likely. Sonething is better than nothing.

[SilverNeurotic]

Originally Posted by Aviza

Why not make a payment arrangement. You could afford $50-$100 a month most likely. Sonething is better than nothing.

This is the best plan. It's probably not a good idea to borrow money from friends.

Are you being treated for your bipolar, currently?

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[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

Yes, let your friend know that you can't pay it back so they can plan accordingly.