Going back to paid work after a long time out

I'll start by saying I have a tendency to anxiety anyway, and tend to struggle with self confidence.

I just started a new job last week, my first paid job in many years (I have been volunteering) - this job is in the area where I have volunteered so I do have knowledge and skills gained from it. However it's a big jump up from responsibility level from an unpaid volunteer to a paid worker.

The team is very small and mostly new, so we are to be setting up new projects and groups. My colleague (same job as me) has been in the job 3 months and is very capable and is already well underway with this. I have shadowed her once but we are in on different days and I have a lot of induction to do.

My boss has already asked me to deliver training for a course which I have yet to train for myself (she asked me to deliver it the week following my own training). Eek!

I'm feeling overwhelmed, even organising my induction has been tricky (some sessions were scheduled too close together and at different locations, as I don't drive this was impossible), I'm only just getting to grip with using an Outlook Calendar!

Anyone been in a similar situation? Tips for not getting stressed out? I want to make a success of this but it feels so overwhelming and I'm filled with self-doubt although trying hard to conceal this with my colleagues.

I think what you are feeling is pretty normal! I had to take a weekend and relearn a bunch of stuff, just to calm myself down. Could you find some web tutorials in the topics you don't feel you have a good grasp on? You might be surprised at what you actually know.

I still get twinges of 'I have no idea what I am doing,' but I try to just ignore them and move on to a new thought.

Have you ever read about imposter syndrome?

I agree with hvert that what you feeling is normal and typical for a new job, especially when you have been out of the 'paid' workforce for a long time. Putting in some extra time on your days off to self-orient is an excellent idea.

If you are particularly squeamish about teaching the course you have only just taken yourself, you could ask your boss to let you see how the learning goes for you before you commit to teaching it to others.

I imagine you are doing very well in your position but your brain is telling you otherwise. It will just take time to settle in until you become convinced that you are competent. Take it easy is the other aspects of your life as you go through this process ... soak in a warm bath in the evening, read a magazine, etc.

Thanks, it helps to know other people have been there too. Actually I did go online today to research a topic, I think that's a really good suggestion.

I have heard of imposter syndrome and wonder if I do have a touch of that, certainly sounds familiar - I find praise hard to accept.

Thanks, today I learned she wants us to deliver the course together and she wants to observe me as she has specific ideas about the best way to deliver the course. I'm okay with that, I want to make the best job of it so would value her input.

Good advice about the other aspects of my life, after my first week I had a half marathon scheduled which was probably not the most relaxing start! I will aim to take it easier this weekend.

I was out of the competitive workplace (had my own business) for about 30 years. When I applied as a Secretary at a financial institution, the adjustment took me about one year and a half. Initially, I felt more confident after about one month, but due to the way I was treated at this workplace, and what I was put through, it was made more difficult. Definitely look for a place (and this is very difficult to determine), where the people appear to be understanding and helpful. Again, this is very hard when you are on the outside looking in. PEOPLE make things difficult for us, and of course, we sometimes are our own worst enemies. Human Beings are the biggest obstacles that human beings face. Sad, but true in many cases.
The combination is not good; but doable. Self-speak works for many people. Being armed with as much information as possible. For me, I have learned that STANDING UP for myself works, communication is key, speak your mind and don't let people use you as a doormat. Some people are on power trips, tell yourself you are above that and act accordingly.