[Werewoman]

Just our stuff, though - which is survivable.

In 2000 we started a small business as independent service techs for machines used in cabinet-making and woodworking. We developed a strong customer base up and down the west coast of Florida. We weren't rich, but we were comfortable. We lived in a great neighborhood in a brand new 2000 sq. ft. home with a 3 car garage. As far as we knew, we were doing everything right. We used our own capital as start-up, had a credit rating of 803, a line of credit at our local bank to handle the ups and downs of owning a business, new cars every two years or so, etc. etc. You get the idea.

Then The Great Recession came along. Our once successful little company slowly started going down the tubes. No one was building new construction so no one was making new cabinets anymore. My husband began sending out resumes in Dec. 2008, just in case, but we were still optimistic we could ride it out. He called all his friends and colleagues he'd gotten to know over the years only to learn that they were struggling to keep the employees they already had, much less find a place for him. Still, ever the optimist, I woke up every morning thinking today the phone would ring and everything would be okay.

This went on until October of 2010. We've learned lots of interesting things since then. You can make every single payment on time for DECADES, but miss three, and they come take your stuff. You try to negotiate with them, but they want you to send a payment first. If we could afford the payment, we wouldn't be trying to negotiate. By September of 2009, the vehicles had been repossessed, the house was in foreclosure and it was only a matter of time before the sheriff showed up, we had no power or water. We sold off as much as we could to try going to Texas thinking we would have better luck there.

We finally did, almost a year later, when my husband got offered a decent job here in Oklahoma. Granted, he makes a third of what he did before, but we are thankful for every penny. I found a job here at a Walgreen's. It was minimum wage and I was way overqualified, but it was work. We saved up the money I made and bough a really nice used truck.

Wanna know how to REALLY piss off the finance guy at the car dealership? Pay cash. I mean literal cash. Bundles of $100 bills. The guy was livid and mumbling something about having to report it to the IRS.

What we went through was horrible, but some amazing things came out of it. You certainly find out who your friends and family really are. Some people shy away from you insisting you must have done something to cause it but I think they are really just afraid that if it can happen to people like us, it can happen to them, too. Most amazing of all was the number of people who were either acquaintances or complete strangers who did things like leaving an envelope in our mailbox containing a hundred dollars or more, a few bought us groceries, one neighbor brought us coffee every morning until we left for Texas. Those people still bring tears to my eyes. Now that we are able to stand on our own two feet again, we look for opportunities to pay it forward.

From here on out, we play by our own rules. We will never again buy anything on credit - even if we could. We save up the money for larger purchases such as furniture and appliances - paying cash still and always will. We find this life much simpler and we like it that way. Someday we hope to buy a little travel trailer or pop-up camper and travel around the country making whatever little money we can just to sustain ourselves. You'd be surprised at what you can live without when you have to and we have found that most things we always thought we couldn't live without we can no longer live with.

Why do I suddenly have this overwhelming urge to put flowers in my hair and paint peace signs everywhere?

[Piraeus]

Hi Werewoman.It's nice to meet you. Welcome to our other family. I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Most people don't think there is grief with such a loss. I believe it is
grieving with something like this. I lost everything twice with my divorces(2). I just had to build it all again.I think you and your husband are very smart. You will overcome the odds. It's great that so many people tried to help you. I hope you will stick around.
I look forward to reading more of your post's.

I like your Pink Floyd sig. Wish you were here. great stuff.

Sincerely,

Piraeus

[Werewoman]

Thanks. Like your siggies too. Coldplay. Gotta love 'em.

[Strive4health]

Originally Posted by Werewoman

What we went through was horrible, but some amazing things came out of it. You certainly find out who your friends and family really are. Some people shy away from you insisting you must have done something to cause it but I think they are really just afraid that if it can happen to people like us, it can happen to them, too. Most amazing of all was the number of people who were either acquaintances or complete strangers who did things like leaving an envelope in our mailbox containing a hundred dollars or more, a few bought us groceries, one neighbor brought us coffee every morning until we left for Texas. Those people still bring tears to my eyes. Now that we are able to stand on our own two feet again, we look for opportunities to pay it forward.

From here on out, we play by our own rules. We will never again buy anything on credit - even if we could. We save up the money for larger purchases such as furniture and appliances - paying cash still and always will. We find this life much simpler and we like it that way. Someday we hope to buy a little travel trailer or pop-up camper and travel around the country making whatever little money we can just to sustain ourselves. You'd be surprised at what you can live without when you have to and we have found that most things we always thought we couldn't live without we can no longer live with.

Why do I suddenly have this overwhelming urge to put flowers in my hair and paint peace signs everywhere?

Wow everyone should read your post! This was amazing.

I thought it was incredibly important that you mention you find out who your friends and family are.

My husband and I have experienced unemployment four times. Yes, I've said it-- FOUR TIMES since we have been married. I couldn't believe I'd be laid off from a relatively "okay" job before I was even 30 but there I was. After my layoff people I knew got mad. My mother screamed at me and was furious. How is it my fault my company eliminated my position?? I wasn't even fired!

We have come across a lot of judgment these past few years. Like you, we've learned what people can really be like when things get bad.

I agree on paying cash. Hubby and I haven't used our credit card in well over a year, we have a good savings, and we have considered having second jobs to pay off the debt we do have. We've also pushed back purchasing a house until decades later so we can pay it mostly with cash or put a huge down payment so we only have a 10-15 year mortgage. People our age think we are stupid or careless or whatever else they think-- but we're learning not to care.

Unlike Werewoman, hubby and I still have yet to receive any amount of kindness from people We've both learned the world is a harsh place and people are even harsher. I think back to 10 years ago when I was so hopeful and optimistic and now I just feel like a jaded old lady At least I know others have been there.

[lizzyjb]

My hubby and I are dealing with all of these at the moment. We both had good jobs, now I'm unemployed and he is a freelance with not a lot of joba. We have lost all our savings and I only can think in all our bills, growing and growing. I have learned that there's nothing safe in this life. That make me feel unsafe.

[Werewoman]

Thanks everyone. Many times we have felt we were the only ones.

We call everything leading up to the Great Crash a perfect storm. It started in summer 2007 with me losing my hearing in my left ear and having to have major surgery. Because of this, I put my engineering degree on hold and took a sabbatical from teaching to heal. By the time I was ready to pick up where I had left off, business was dropping quickly (to the tune of $1.3 million dollars, according to our accountant) so I thought it best to help try to keep the business afloat. Then our 16 year old son developed a pericardial effusion and was in and out of the CVICU in the children's hospital for 4 months. By the time he recovered, we could see the writing on the wall. I tried going back to teaching, but my program was cut due to budget issues - elective classes are considered nonessential in spite of the fact many required multiple disciplines. So teaching was out. My husband and I both sent out hundreds....literally hundreds of resumes. Meanwhile, we were slowly selling off anything and everything we could that had any value. One tough lesson we learned was that you can only expect to get 10% out of the dollar. We even sold off our wedding rings. By the time we left Florida, all we had left was the clothes on our backs, a couple of suitcases, and family pictures and keepsakes (only the ones we couldn't sell, though).

We both found part time work and took the bus to and from. It really sucks when you have to work a whole hour just to pay for the bus fare to get there. I remember one day walking past a Hallmark store on my way home from the bus stop and seeing in the window a refrigerator magnet that simply read, "When you're going through hell...keep going. ~ Winston Churchill" I didn't have the money to buy the magnet, but I remembered what it said and we kept going. We have come out the other side completely different people. I would love to have my old life back. I'd be lying if I said otherwise, but things are so much simpler now, and that's definitely not a bad thing.

We have even learned to laugh at the boxes and piles of subpoenas, unpaid bills, and nastygrams. At some point it all gets so ridiculous and you realize there's nothing you can do except ignore it, walk away and start over. After a while, they all go away, believe it or not.

[birdpumpkin]

We went through this in a way with our fire December 3rd, 2013. Lost everything but what we were wearing and the little that was salvaged - most of which was still thrown away. Books grew a red mold on them, etc. I think firefighters did more damage in our house than the fire did. They tore up all the ceiling, made holes in the wall, tore down doors, took the lid off my piano and sprayed water down inside it... I wanted so much to just repair and stay in our house but there was no way. It had to be torn down, and most of our stuff was demolished with it. We found a doublewide and had it moved here to the same spot and are starting over, but I fret so much about the bills. What happened to you, werewoman, is what terrifies me. I suppose after having lost all once, I'm scared of it happening again. My husband's 1985 work truck finally gave out, so he had to get a new vehicle. I have no idea how we're going to have enough to make the payments on it, and we got them to go down as far as they would. They refused to go any lower. Now we need $285 extra dollars a month for it. You do learn who really cares, though, when things like this happen. We were given so many donations from individuals, churches, there were 3 benefit dinners for us... Clothes came in, even food... The first month, though, we had to stay with my parents, and my mom's actions stressed me out so bad. She and my husband do not get along, so things were volatile from the start. But she would call my sister and talk about us. I'm vegetarian, and only twice the whole month did she make anything for supper that accommodated me. By the time we moved to a rental home a month later my body was craving protein so badly I ate tons of eggs!! I could've cooked for myself, but I was barely coping and didn't feel like messing with cooking. And of course she called the rental home my husband found for us "trash" - which it wasn't at all. She had to have gone looking at the wrong home. And we didn't need this at this time. I was struggling so badly emotionally. But thanks to strangers, we bought a used car with donations, and it helped with getting our house, too. We got rid of our credit cards long ago - have been paying off 2 of them for years and still paying on them. We refuse to use them anymore. Unfortunately we have no savings, so life is paycheck to paycheck, and we've been scraping by. But you learn to cut back and figure out what you really need.

[SeekerOfLife]

Hi Werewoman. I know what you mean by doing without. Just to give you one example, I have not had TV in five years. My budget is very tight. At first doing without something is hard. After a while a person gets used to it.

[Shamrock76]

My car was repossessed this morning I'm absolutely in bits. It's at the end of a very long spiral of depression I don't know what to do. I actually feel like throwing myself under a bus And I feel like such a failure. Due to the mess of the depression alone, this has happened I wanna know how long I have to do this for "When you're going through hell...keep going. ~ Winston Churchill"

[Cat_Lover_58]

I've gone without cable for over 5 years. I don't miss it at all. My college age daughters pay for internet and give me each 1/3 of the rent. My one daughter pays the gas bill each month. This is reality. Live is tough and ya just keep going the best you can. I do not miss cable or television at all...have a relic of a VCR and I just watch old movies when the urge strikes. You can find a gazillion tapes @ any thrift store in town. Soon that will go too...then it's time for something else. I love to read and so that's filling the space nicely...

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by Werewoman

Just our stuff, though - which is survivable.

In 2000 we started a small business as independent service techs for machines used in cabinet-making and woodworking. We developed a strong customer base up and down the west coast of Florida. We weren't rich, but we were comfortable. We lived in a great neighborhood in a brand new 2000 sq. ft. home with a 3 car garage. As far as we knew, we were doing everything right. We used our own capital as start-up, had a credit rating of 803, a line of credit at our local bank to handle the ups and downs of owning a business, new cars every two years or so, etc. etc. You get the idea.

Then The Great Recession came along. Our once successful little company slowly started going down the tubes. No one was building new construction so no one was making new cabinets anymore. My husband began sending out resumes in Dec. 2008, just in case, but we were still optimistic we could ride it out. He called all his friends and colleagues he'd gotten to know over the years only to learn that they were struggling to keep the employees they already had, much less find a place for him. Still, ever the optimist, I woke up every morning thinking today the phone would ring and everything would be okay.

This went on until October of 2010. We've learned lots of interesting things since then. You can make every single payment on time for DECADES, but miss three, and they come take your stuff. You try to negotiate with them, but they want you to send a payment first. If we could afford the payment, we wouldn't be trying to negotiate. By September of 2009, the vehicles had been repossessed, the house was in foreclosure and it was only a matter of time before the sheriff showed up, we had no power or water. We sold off as much as we could to try going to Texas thinking we would have better luck there.

We finally did, almost a year later, when my husband got offered a decent job here in Oklahoma. Granted, he makes a third of what he did before, but we are thankful for every penny. I found a job here at a Walgreen's. It was minimum wage and I was way overqualified, but it was work. We saved up the money I made and bough a really nice used truck.

Wanna know how to REALLY piss off the finance guy at the car dealership? Pay cash. I mean literal cash. Bundles of $100 bills. The guy was livid and mumbling something about having to report it to the IRS.

What we went through was horrible, but some amazing things came out of it. You certainly find out who your friends and family really are. Some people shy away from you insisting you must have done something to cause it but I think they are really just afraid that if it can happen to people like us, it can happen to them, too. Most amazing of all was the number of people who were either acquaintances or complete strangers who did things like leaving an envelope in our mailbox containing a hundred dollars or more, a few bought us groceries, one neighbor brought us coffee every morning until we left for Texas. Those people still bring tears to my eyes. Now that we are able to stand on our own two feet again, we look for opportunities to pay it forward.

From here on out, we play by our own rules. We will never again buy anything on credit - even if we could. We save up the money for larger purchases such as furniture and appliances - paying cash still and always will. We find this life much simpler and we like it that way. Someday we hope to buy a little travel trailer or pop-up camper and travel around the country making whatever little money we can just to sustain ourselves. You'd be surprised at what you can live without when you have to and we have found that most things we always thought we couldn't live without we can no longer live with.

Why do I suddenly have this overwhelming urge to put flowers in my hair and paint peace signs everywhere?

This is really beautiful and affirming!

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by Shamrock76

My car was repossessed this morning I'm absolutely in bits. It's at the end of a very long spiral of depression I don't know what to do. I actually feel like throwing myself under a bus And I feel like such a failure. Due to the mess of the depression alone, this has happened I wanna know how long I have to do this for "When you're going through hell...keep going. ~ Winston Churchill"

How are you doing now? Are things getting better for you? I remember when my car got repossessed, and how it felt. I felt like a failure, too, in spite of all my efforts to negotiate the loan so I could keep it. All they kept saying was, "make a payment and we'll negotiate". Well, fer cryin' out loud, if I could have made a payment, I would have! Idjits!

I wish I could answer your question. Unfortunately, we have no control over what I see as 'the powers that be', meaning this whole global economic crisis caused by bad government policies and bad decisions by corporate egomaniacs that chew up and spit out the little people like us. All I can say is, find ways to work around them as we have. We keep a low profile (no public social networking sites, pay cash for everything, and keep our assets to a minimum - they can't take what you don't have) and enjoy activities that don't require a lot of money.

We now rent a small house from a really great guy who is the retired chief of police in our town, and we drive older vehicles. My husband hates his job - it's nothing like the caliber of work he's done in the past, and I'm hoping to go back to work next month. We're trying to save up enough to get a place in the country - hopefully in another state LOL! - and settle down. I'd like to grow all my own vegetables and keep a few chickens and other small animals. In other words....I want the simple life.

Blessings to you!

WW

[spring2014]

I wish that life would be that simple but there is temptations all around us that we can't see straight at all !!!!!!!!!




Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression
meds: Cymbalta 90mgs at night
Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn
50 mgs at night for insomnia

[Mountainbard]

Thank you for sharing this Werewoman. It is very affirming and uplifting. I became homeless in 2006, and had a few really rough years. But I'm stable again from both a financial and mental health point of view, and I'm really thankful for a second chance. I'm so glad you got one too, and that you've made the most of it.

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by Mountainbard

Thank you for sharing this Werewoman. It is very affirming and uplifting. I became homeless in 2006, and had a few really rough years. But I'm stable again from both a financial and mental health point of view, and I'm really thankful for a second chance. I'm so glad you got one too, and that you've made the most of it.

Is there such a thing as a third chance? It looks like I'm about to be alone again, with nothing but a 20 year old van as shelter and a part time job in a deli.

The problem with having an MI is that no matter how much people love you, they all have their breaking point. I think my husband finally found his. He's in fear of losing his job every day and he can't cope with my PTSD and MDD anymore. Don't worry though, I am a survivor. Always have been, always will be.

[lizzyjb]

Originally Posted by Werewoman

Is there such a thing as a third chance? It looks like I'm about to be alone again, with nothing but a 20 year old van as shelter and a part time job in a deli.

The problem with having an MI is that no matter how much people love you, they all have their breaking point. I think my husband finally found his. He's in fear of losing his job every day and he can't cope with my PTSD and MDD anymore. Don't worry though, I am a survivor. Always have been, always will be.

Life is always the same, fall down and try to stand up to fall down again. When you think everything is behind, things go wrong again. Life sucks.
A very big hug and kiss.