[kala83]

so I am in an odd situation I live at home with my mother. I know that telling what I was doing as far as web cam modeling what would not be the route that ppl would normally want to go for this kind of thing.

but what other options could I really do, when I started bring in paychecks and making money. and using it on thing instead of asking her she would have noticed. Just cause she is that observant of thing in her house. She has gone on and on....now about how she expects the FBI and or cops to show up at our door since she swears there are pornography laws in the state of Missouri and all I have come across when I do research on the topic is Child Pornography.

Not to mention I might be wrong, (a friend of mine sent me an article about this not that long ago about how webcam modeling is not considered porn its something else. so even states that do have laws like that do not consider it illegal). I wish my mom would just leave me a lone about this and let me live my life have privacy, trust me.

Not make me feel ashamed of myself for what I am doing. i mean yes I am going to school online right now for veterinary technican training. And she acts like I am going to admit to EVERYONE on the planet earth I am doing this or put on a resume. I have more sense then that.

she kept asking me " is this something I am proud of" truthfully YES I think we as a country are way to sexually repressed and that adults of age should not feel shame for being sexual. And enjoying it, and frankly the things I do that actually make me money are not that "sexual" anyway.

the only reason this was brought up between the two of us was because, I had told her point blank I was doing this not for her to judge and criticize me but so I was being honest with her about a new source of income that I have coming in. And ever since then she has kept throwing job offers in town at me....and incouraging me more then usual to go and apply for jobs.

And I can't tell for sure if her meaning behind this is " go and get a real job that is not you making smute" or if she is just trying to be helpful but frankly today I just got tired of her doing it and how it made me feel.

My feelings have credit what I want in my life for myself and how I wish to live my life as an adult is my choice not hers! and frankly I am tired of being put into situations where I feel put down by her. I try to be respectful of myself and her.

And I do not feel like I get the same back, all of my past mistakes are constantly held over my head. and I am reminded of how and when I have ****ed up before.

and I really hate that she just assumes that cause I am doing this now. That I did not take the time to research this and make sure it was legally ok to do.

which I am still fairly sure it is.

If this kind of treatment on her part continues with me by the time I am able to move out of the house I will want to not have anything to do with her. I mean why do I have to go into elbrate detail of my job with her.....when I know for a fact she will not approve and it will make her mad why does she feel like she is entitled to know that information.

the only reason she would want to know that to me seems like it would be to put it down.

and to make me feel badly for what I am doing and I am tried of feeding into that game of hers.

I am being respectful to her being honest with her and what I get in return is prying more into my personal affairs that she does NOT need to know...and putting me down....

I don't feel like my being honest with her was a bad thing but her way of reacting to this all though warranted is really out of line and rude.

[capricorn1975]

If you are comfortable with it, which you are, and it's legal don't worry about what anyone else thinks. It's your life, and as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else you have every right to do it.

[Angelique67]

I agree that you have every right to do it - under your own roof. As long as you are living in your mother's house, you should abide by her wishes. Sorry.

Your mother has a right to not be thrilled about you doing this under her roof. On your own in your own house/apartment she would have no say, but under her roof, I kind of agree with her.

[kala83]

I agree with what you all are saying but I am trying to earn money so i can move out and get out of her house. I mean I am not doing this to be annoying or to get her or I into trouble I am doing it....so that I can have an income and be able to move out. I get that she dosn't like what I am doing cause it dosn't match up with her moral compass. But to call what I do pornography is not acurate half of what I do is not what she would refer to as sexual anyway.... it honestly seems more like being a sex therapist then anything. My boyfriend and I have discussed the idea of purchasing our own internet for downstairs to contibute to my work, as well as for our own internet/gaming use in general, and if we invested in this now...when we saved enough money we could take it with us when we move.

I am sorry that a lot of you don't agree with this but I am respectfully saying this now that is your opinions only. Its not like I am doing this kind of thing to get back at my mom or to be disrespectful to her I did it cause I felt comfertable doing it. And when all I was doing was sitting at home filling out applications I knew there was a better easier way for me to be able to make money. And I wanted to do so....

and frankly the fact she mad it seem like when I moved back in that I could do what i wanted in the basement. That makes it seem like I can do what I want to do.....

again not trying to be rude here just expressing how I have looked at this situation in my experience.

[kala83]

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I agree that you have every right to do it - under your own roof. As long as you are living in your mother's house, you should abide by her wishes. Sorry.

that would be easy to do if my mother had actual straight forward wishes that stayed the same but her mind and her mood changes fairly easily and she can be a very hurtful and disrespectful person.

she does care about me and I don't thinks she cares so much that I am doing this she cares what other people think of me....and how it might effect her legally which I have tried to tell her several times there is nothing about any of this that will effect her in a negative way legally at all. She just does not know how this works and she doesn’t agree with it.

But she has never once forbid to do it in her house. So frankly I feel like I do have a legal right to keep doing this .....even if it is just for the fact that I want to get out of this house so that I can live on my own and live my own life.

Even when I go out of my way to be respectful to her of what she wants from me, it is often met with criticism and negativity. I NEVER about one thing in my life feel accepted or feel like i am good enough in her eyes.

And this is just another example of that to me. I know she is doing a lot by helping me and my boyfriend by giving us a place to stay but she seems like she noses into things that are none of her business and she always an opinion about what is going on and I get that everyone does. But I even try to respectfully ask her to stop that what she is saying hurts my feelings.

and she does not care! she has even told me at points that she does not. And for what because I grew up? cause I started viewing the world differently then she does. That a harsh thing to do to someone.

Frankly I feel like no matter what I do in my life it will never be good enough to her....so where as I do understand what you guys are getting at....I am trying to tell you I always try to be kind and respectful to my mother. But it is not really as simple as you all want to make it out to be.

[Angelique67]

Well, when I was living with my parents, they would have thrashed me if I'd done "web cam modeling" in their house, much less brought a boyfriend to live there. Not saying they were right or wrong, but I had to live by their rules and wishes. I moved out when I was 18.

If I had taken up what you are doing in my parent's home, I would have been out on my butt immediately. I would not accept that kind of activity in my own home from my own children either. It IS that simple. You are in her house. You need to take these activities out of her house. Get a different job to earn the money in the meantime, or simply move out now, but don't expect your mother to condone that kind of business in her own home.

[Raindropvampire]

I have a friend that does this and she's never had any legal issues EXCEPT the IRS. Depending on how much you make you have to declare the income to the IRS because they consider it self employment.

Do you pay your mom rent? If so then tell her butt out of your business and that the subject is no longer open for discussion. You two obviously aren't going to see eye to eye on this so why talk about it?

[kala83]

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I agree that you have every right to do it - under your own roof. As long as you are living in your mother's house, you should abide by her wishes. Sorry.

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

I have a friend that does this and she's never had any legal issues EXCEPT the IRS. Depending on how much you make you have to declare the income to the IRS because they consider it self employment.

Do you pay your mom rent? If so then tell her butt out of your business and that the subject is no longer open for discussion. You two obviously aren't going to see eye to eye on this so why talk about it?

I am not really trying to talk about it she is the one that wants to speak about this.....in detail......I simply wanted to be respectful to her and tell her I was doing this, cause I wantd to be honest with her about where the money was coming from.

she is the one that wants to go into detail with what I am doing not me.

and NO I am not going to stop doing this and stop making money she NEVER asked me to stop doing what i am doing she is using emtional abuse to make me feel ashamed of what I am doing so that I will quiet and I will be made to feel badly about what I am doing.

I understand that your all points of view on this are different then mine. But I am not breaking any household rules by doing what I am, in this situation I am respecting her wishes. She didn't tell me to not do it....out of respect I am going to go find another job while I do this one to save more money and to make her happy but I am being respectful of her and her wishes but I am also standing up for myself and what I believe is alight, I am not opposing her if she didn't want to me to do this then she should say that.
She is not, I am not doing anything illegal which is what SHE has said she cares most about.

it seems more like you all are trying to speak on my mother's behalf then her own. And express you wishes and that is in correct on yours all part. You should not speak for others, so sorry again but you all are only expressing your own personal views and I don't agree with it STILL.

[Raindropvampire]

I'm sorry did you not understand I was on your side? I think your mom should butt out of your business. You are not doing anything wrong as long as you pay the taxes on it.

[kala83]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

I'm sorry did you not understand I was on your side? I think your mom should butt out of your business. You are not doing anything wrong as long as you pay the taxes on it.

no no I wasn't meaning to say that to you I was saying that toward the other person the one that starts with a I am sorryI was not try to be rude or direct that at you.

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by kala83

I am not really trying to talk about it she is the one that wants to speak about this.....in detail......I simply wanted to be respectful to her and tell her I was doing this, cause I wantd to be honest with her about where the money was coming from.

she is the one that wants to go into detail with what I am doing not me.

and NO I am not going to stop doing this and stop making money she NEVER asked me to stop doing what i am doing she is using emtional abuse to make me feel ashamed of what I am doing so that I will quiet and I will be made to feel badly about what I am doing.

I understand that your all points of view on this are different then mine. But I am not breaking any household rules by doing what I am, in this situation I am respecting her wishes. She didn't tell me to not do it....out of respect I am going to go find another job while I do this one to save more money and to make her happy but I am being respectful of her and her wishes but I am also standing up for myself and what I believe is alight, I am not opposing her if she didn't want to me to do this then she should say that.
She is not, I am not doing anything illegal which is what SHE has said she cares most about.

it seems more like you all are trying to speak on my mother's behalf then her own. And express you wishes and that is in correct on yours all part. You should not speak for others, so sorry again but you all are only expressing your own personal views and I don't agree with it STILL.

Well if your mom is OK with it, if it isn't against her wishes, why are you asking us what we think?

[kala83]

I guess just wanting to vent off steam, is all

[Nammu]

I'm not sure you want feedback or just people who agree with you. It sounds like you are using semantics to get around you mother. She does care that's why she keeps bring this up.

She didn't grow up with the web the way it is now. She does probably know that what's on the web is out there for good. It can always come back at a most inconvenient time. It does sound like you keep trying to justify you actions by saying it doesn't really count as sexual, most of the stuff isn't sexual. Kind of sounds like you are trying to justify it to yourself too. Have you talked to a T about this and all the possible ramifications that might happen in the future? Most places now run Internet searches before they hire. Then there is the IRS that has been brought up, and there are the crazys that will do anything to find you. These are just things for you to think about because it sounds like you did this on impulse without much research.

If you were in your own house or apartment I say fine go for it, but you are in your mother's house, she is upset about it. Just because she hasn't said the Magic word,no and hasn't out rightly forbidden it doesn't mean she's ok with it. Perhaps she would help you get your own place and once there you and your boyfriend would have to cover the expenses, you can make money anyway you want. Just know that as someone starting out you can't be that picking about where you live. It's got to be affordable that's all.

[That What]

Running a business out of a private residence. Have you checked local zoning laws and drawn up a business contract including rent paid on "office" space, utilities, "dining" hall fees, and legal licences. As the "legal" named person on the residence and all home "bills" , any "illegal" activity and your Mom is subject to any fines and potential criminal charges as an accessory.

[CosmicRose]

I understand your situation, however you keep saying you're being respectful to her and you actually aren't. You're not respecting her views at all, yet you say you do. She has valid concerns, whether you're ready to hear that or not. She's doing what any rational minded mother would do and you're getting angry at her for that. If I were you, I would stop the webcamming and I would take her advice and get another job. The taxes that you'll have to pay for being self employed are a lot, in the thousands. And you cant hide from the IRS so the tax money will chip away big time at any amount you save. Not to mention there is always the chance of being recognized once you stop webcamming, whether its at a job or just at the store. Its not worth it. You really need to think about this. Not only that, but once your pictures or videos are on the internet its very difficult to get them completely erased forever. There are so many stories of women with respectful jobs being fired because someone recognized them at work from years ago in porn, whether its their coworker or a customer. And you also don't get any benefits from that job. I wouldn't want my daughter doing that under my roof either and I would be concerned.

[specialneedsmom]

Originally Posted by capricorn1975

If you are comfortable with it, which you are, and it's legal don't worry about what anyone else thinks. It's your life, and as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else you have every right to do it.

I agree with this.

If someone finds a legal way to earn money, they should do it. Regardless of what others think! We are in a bad economy and most people are doing anything they can to survive. That is the reality of today's world. If I weren't in my 40s and overweight now, I'd be doing web cam modeling too. Earn all the money you can while you can.

[kala83]

Originally Posted by CosmicRose

I understand your situation, however you keep saying you're being respectful to her and you actually aren't. You're not respecting her views at all, yet you say you do. She has valid concerns, whether you're ready to hear that or not. She's doing what any rational minded mother would do and you're getting angry at her for that. If I were you, I would stop the webcamming and I would take her advice and get another job. The taxes that you'll have to pay for being self employed are a lot, in the thousands. And you cant hide from the IRS so the tax money will chip away big time at any amount you save. Not to mention there is always the chance of being recognized once you stop webcamming, whether its at a job or just at the store. Its not worth it. You really need to think about this. Not only that, but once your pictures or videos are on the internet its very difficult to get them completely erased forever. There are so many stories of women with respectful jobs being fired because someone recognized them at work from years ago in porn, whether its their coworker or a customer. And you also don't get any benefits from that job. I wouldn't want my daughter doing that under my roof either and I would be concerned.

I understand what you are saying here and I even understand on the suface I might appear as though I am being disrespecful but I actually am not my mother and I have spoken on this lightly out of "respect" for each other and she is not quite so opinionated on this as she was before. I am looking for other work other then this.
I am sorry if its disagreed upon here but as an adult women I think I have a right to view the world as an adult and if I wish to be active in those views I feel i should be able to. Just cause I don't have the same opinions on morals or life as my mother does not mean such views should be forced on someone.

I mean to me that is no differnent then a Christian mother telling her teenager "the only safe sex is no sex at all" but I happen to be a very open minded sex postive femnist type of person and yes in a perfect world I would not be doing this out of my mom's house. But I can not do it as of right now.

but when my mom picks up my paychecks for me and hands them to be when i get them in the mail. I think that a clear sign she is not as perverted by it as she wants to make her self out to be.

and actually not that I am trying to be rude here but the taxes web cam girls pay is not really all that much. You are not considered owning your own business doing this kind of work.

but I do understand you view point on this.
and apologize if people took offence

[ChipperMonkey]

You really don't understand how taxes and the IRS work, do you?

Is your employer taking out social security? If not, you're an independent contractor and WILL have to pay a hefty portion of your salary to the IRS. (I seriously doubt that you're technically an employee of these web cam people.)

Go watch "life after porn". It's a good documentary. After your image is out there, you WILL be recognized. People will walk up to you, even if you have your kids with you and they will comment. That is, you can't hide, there is no leaving that life behind.

[kala83]

but if you are choosing to work in the sex industry by choice rather then be forced to do it....I don't see a reason to feel ashamed of that.

why should something as common as sex be looked at in a shameful way? that is what I disagree with and if I want to live that way I feel like it my god given right as women to live that, I have done fetish photography have lived in the BDSM life style and been paid many times to do things of this nature and if you as an indvidual are ok with living that way its perfectly ok.

and chipper actuall you are an employee of the web caming sites you have fill out all the government forms that they issue for you and you have to agree to do sales tax and yes I am younger and have not delt with doing taxes too many times in my life. but its not much more different then when you work any other service job.
cause thats what web camming is considered to be its considered fetish service work.

But it is not porn! at least not according to what the legal indsutry considers to be so. I am not trying to come on here and argue with you guys I swear.

the truth of the matter is I have done research on this I have talked with other girls in the industry.

and for the most part what people see of you most of the time is in "general chat" and by law you required to be fully clothed until some requests to speak to you privately and on many sites you can even block out certain computer IPs, countries zip codes, and states.

no one is forced to work doing this kind of thing and everything about this kind of work is under your control just like you private sex life.

in fact I didn't even really get into doing this for money I did cause I have a fetish for being watched and I wanted a healthy outlet for it.
so I did research and I tried it out.

and it makes me feel good! I feel pretty and I can talk openly with other people about sexual topics I myself or other people do not get the opertunity to.

simply due to fear of society judgements and streotypes put on by other people.

I have literally been paid by other people not do anyhthing myself but dance around and be happy this is really sexual therapy to a degree for some people much like this site is.

and if anyone does something you don't like or feel comfertable with you block them or if its even more sevier you report them.

AGAIN if you really want to think of me how you want thats on you all I know all people have different views on sex and even people who work in the sex industry or alternative lifestyles. And I am not trying to be insulting or rude. But I have to say in my own judgement and opinion knowing fully that is all it is, is just me making ajudgement call on what I see here.

but I feel a lot of the emtions and frustration toward me in this thread is not due to I am doing anything wrong, its different view points oppousing what I am doing.

I understand that...I understand not all people have the same view points on life that I do. And I understand that is probably why me and my mother booted heads on this topic when it first came up.

but I have a right to my own opinions and judgements in this world as women, and as an adult women. Know I don't have a ton of life experince, and I have made mistakes in my life. But I don't see what I am doing as far as this as something bad in my life.

is it something I can brig up to anyone, anywhere HELL no! cause I know that many people will not like it and they will take offense to it.

I guess I thought I would get a response here in the forums that would be similar to when I did a DBT support group where "judgements" would put aside, to be kind and helpful to all that speak of their issues or concerns but I was wrong on that account and apparently some people took offensive to what i am doing which was not my goal.

but I have done research on this I have asked questions about this kind of work and I going into it with that approach.
but as of recently I don't even do this as full time work I do it on the side when I have the time.

and I am looking for other work as well.

Sorry if my being a sex positive feminist type is offensive this is just who I am as person, and I like WHO I AM. if other people take issue with that, in my opinion that on them not on me.

but I do not say that to start a conflict or argument just saying so as a general statement.

but again again again I just want to say if anyone here has taken what i have said in offence I sincerely apologize and would like to just agree to disagree in this thread from here on out since it seems the best most mature way to deal with this with out creating more issue with anyone else.