[on the mats]

So I essentially have a history of nervous breakdowns. I had my first after a breakup a few years ago and I'm dealing with one now due to work.

I started my career in 2005 at a government contractor which is a stone's throw away from a government job so it was not exceptionally difficult. It wasn't the finance job I went to school for so I kind of didn't get fully into it, but the benefits were awesome and I loved the people I worked with. I was never a superstar, but I wasn't terrible and would get pretty good reviews. Due to the comfort and unfortunately the economic downturn I stayed at this job for 9 years. Finally left and got that financial analyst job I wanted (making nearly 6 figures in California bay area dollars) at a startup here. I proceeded to suck at the job and my first performance review was pretty bad. That is when the second nervous breakdown occured. I've been dealing with severe anxiety ever since. I left that job thinking the startup environment was just too much for me, but I'm finding this job to be not much better. I'm coming to the conclusion I suck at analytics. Through all of this I don't remember the last time I felt normal. I've been a big ball of stress for the last year and a half.

So I decided this wasn't for me and am looking to transition to IT as I I am somewhat computer savvy. The problem is I will be starting over and my salary could be cut in half. I just feel stuck and no option I have can seem to cure the anxiety. My wife is very supportive, but at the same time I can tell she is very worried about a potential major drop in income. If it was just me it wouldn't be quite as bad, but I feel like I am dragging her into my mess. I just don't know how or if I can ever build myself back up. Just wanted to see if anyone has been successful in a career restart or have been able to pick themselves back up after major setbacks.

[ladytiger]

I am scared too I had to start over after I left a part time job to go to a new field full time and got let go the first day of training. I am back at my pt job, hating the duties wishing I could be full time in my dept that is so impossible. It's a mess for me, re-made a new resume and cover letter looks much better than before just started to test it out.

I don't want to keep going through another 30 more rounds of interviewing that is so ****ing stupid. I am leaving the IT field I am keeping it on the back burner but I am going for jobs first come first serve not gonna keep waiting on a dream. I am looking into working with business partners on the phone across the country or locally. I just want something that's stable I am so tired of jumping through hoops with these employers and recruiters...

[Little Lulu]

Welcome to PC. I had problems big with anxiety in 2000 when I came out of graduate school and took a higher level job. I took some time off work but was able to return and have worked since then with the exception of a little break recently when we moved. I stayed in my own field when I went back to work but I returned to a less stressful position and then gradually worked my way back to a job equal to the one I left in 2000.

After all these years, I've (mostly) come to terms with the fact that my anxiety won't ever be 'cured' but I am managing it and functioning well. It has taken a lot of effort - mostly counseling and a support group/mentor who has been there also.

I hear your concern about your wife and a potential cut in salary but having some job is better than none at all or one you don't feel good about and if you discover you love IT work, the better income will ultimately come b/c you will be good at it.

Or maybe it isn't the job itself that is the issue but your belief about your competence to do the job. That is what I learned about myself through my struggles ... I didn't believe I was smart/good enough but I finally, for the most part, slayed that dragon.

There is nothing 'wrong' with you just there is nothing 'wrong' with me. We are just having/have had human experiences that are uncomfortable and need some tending to - for me it is usually an adjustment in my thinking errors!

[JustJenny]

I am currently taking a break from my grad school because of a breakdown. I have been "resting" at home for about two months now and I am still extremely anxious. I started seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist. They say that I am not badly "burned" and that it could have been much worse. Nevertheless, after two months I still feel very worried about my future. My particular fears are dropping out from grad school and not finding a job a am going to be good at. I still have a reasonable desire to stay in academia but I fear that my mental issues will always drag me down. I have a very supportive husband who keeps telling me that it is going to be okay and still I panic.

Prior to this I had no history or depression or anxiety. This burnout turned my world upside down.

Having this said, I wish I could help.

[on the mats]

Originally Posted by Little Lulu

Welcome to PC. I had problems big with anxiety in 2000 when I came out of graduate school and took a higher level job. I took some time off work but was able to return and have worked since then with the exception of a little break recently when we moved. I stayed in my own field when I went back to work but I returned to a less stressful position and then gradually worked my way back to a job equal to the one I left in 2000.

After all these years, I've (mostly) come to terms with the fact that my anxiety won't ever be 'cured' but I am managing it and functioning well. It has taken a lot of effort - mostly counseling and a support group/mentor who has been there also.

I hear your concern about your wife and a potential cut in salary but having some job is better than none at all or one you don't feel good about and if you discover you love IT work, the better income will ultimately come b/c you will be good at it.

Or maybe it isn't the job itself that is the issue but your belief about your competence to do the job. That is what I learned about myself through my struggles ... I didn't believe I was smart/good enough but I finally, for the most part, slayed that dragon.

There is nothing 'wrong' with you just there is nothing 'wrong' with me. We are just having/have had human experiences that are uncomfortable and need some tending to - for me it is usually an adjustment in my thinking errors!

I really think I could use some time off. My wife is dealing with some stress now as her company was bought out and her job may not be around after the merger. I half jokingly said we should take sabbatical and live with my aunt on the Italian countryside. She would've been totally down if we were a little younger. In terms of what causes the stress, I've found anxiety is a very vicious cycle and for me it's taking my flaws and making them ten times worse. I get stressed about my ineptitude and that stress just brings it out even more so then I get more anxious and the cycle continues. I've been looking for anxiety and stress support groups to help, but surprisingly there isn't much in the way of them. Most seem like very expensive meetups.

Originally Posted by JustJenny

I am currently taking a break from my grad school because of a breakdown. I have been "resting" at home for about two months now and I am still extremely anxious. I started seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist. They say that I am not badly "burned" and that it could have been much worse. Nevertheless, after two months I still feel very worried about my future. My particular fears are dropping out from grad school and not finding a job a am going to be good at. I still have a reasonable desire to stay in academia but I fear that my mental issues will always drag me down. I have a very supportive husband who keeps telling me that it is going to be okay and still I panic.

Prior to this I had no history or depression or anxiety. This burnout turned my world upside down.

Having this said, I wish I could help.

It's cool. Thanks for the input. I've always been kind of a already, but nothing that really affected my life regularly. But when something major happens it appears that I have a tendency to have nervous breakdowns.