How to be professional when there are creeps

Hello there!

So. I am one of the only girls in the entire software department. And while I can handle my coworker's' making gross often misogynistic commentary occasionally, recently I've been dealing with a lot of. Borderline situations with other guys working with us. For example. This one guy whose definitely double my age at least constantly comes to talk to me and will grab my shoulder as if to pat it but will keep his hand there far longer than socially acceptable (he doesn't touch anyone else). And my boss started hunting and being a touchy feely person and asking if I live alone (he only comes down to talk when my team is gone and I'm by myself) and overall some guys just give me the creepiest vibes. I really trust my gut about people so when it's blaring alarms I'm always looking for the easiest way out but professionally it's harder. I'm too afraid to say something to HR because it's such a boys club I'm afraid that big stink will end up with me out on my butt instead.

Any tips on how to gracefully handle creeps?

Honestly if I were you I would report that to whoever is in charge. You shouldnt have to deal with that kind of stuff.

Ever see the video of George W. putting his hands on German Chancellor Angela Merkel's shoulders from behind in an inappropriately familiar manner, and she shrugs him off in an instinctive near-seizure of disgust? I appreciate your hesitation to make an issue of your situation in HR, but if you consistently physically recoil from unwanted contact as if your coworkers' hands were causing you physical pain of intensity equal to your level of emotional discomfort, people might learn to keep their hands off you.

Hi there. First of all - I feel for you. I never been in such a situation, but if I were - I would start applying for other jobs in the field without quitting the job. Is this an option for you?

Do you know if there is a reason why you are the only woman in the department? How big is the department, by the way?

I have found that acting really startled when people touch me like that is a good deterrent. Make a loud sound and jump, like you were really surprised. Everyone will turn to look and they should be too embarrassed to do it next time.

My supervisor "accidentally" falls into my chest every time I come into contact with him. Wednesday and Thursday. Ugh, looking for another job.

Wow thats horrible. I also like the idea about making a loud noise so everyone looks and they feel embarassed.

Thank you everyone. I've started looking a little for new jobs but yeah I don't think I'm willing to go to HR until after I don't have to worry about causing a huge mess. HR will definitely look into it and then the gossip mill will probably destroy me.

The unfortunate thing is that we work with a lot of contractors from other companies (I'm a contractor too) so it's difficult as to who I would even talk to about that.

I really like the aggressively shrugging the hand off. Unfortunately my coworkers are really obnoxious so they purposefully startle me to get a reaction (like a bunch of 5 year olds u_u)

What if you accidentally elbow people in the stomach or a little below when you are startled?

Getting out sounds ideal, what a toxic culture that is.