[growlycat]

Work has been horrid on so many levels. The most recent is a colleague who I helped get in the door who once hired, became the boss' BFF and has been rude and undermining ever since. The boss doesn't see how having a dual relationship with someone on our team is damaging. But it is.

Every day it seems I have to excuse myself to cry in the bathroom --usually it goes unnoticed. Today I stormed out on the boss, cried in the parking lot…eventually came back.

I tried reaching out to family for help but they live far away and my therapist is on the road and frankly not good in a crisis. I heading towards a bad place I don't know what to do.

I am not a hateful or violent person but I want to punch this lady in the teeth. I worry that she is one nasty remark away from blowing away my diplomacy dike.

Please help I don't know where to turn

[hvert]

Ugh, I hope you feel better - work really sucks most of the time. If you have this weekend off, I hope you can treat yourself somehow.

Do you see any kind of options? Transferring to a different department? This woman leaving? Disengaging somehow? A new job?

[JustJenny]

Can you take some time off? Burnouts heal poorly. Can you start applying for other jobs?

[doyoutrustme]

I'm also burnt out at work. i had to go back on meds to cope, and I'm working to get a new job. it's the worst, all of it.

[HappinessHunter]

Friendships at work can complicate things, for sure! I echo the thoughts of other people, wondering if you've considered a change. But I also wonder about some of the specifics of your situation, the tweaking of which could return the experience of your job to a more pleasant place. Like:

• How confident are you in the work you're doing?
• Does your boss see the good job you're doing?
• How much control does this new person have in your performance reviews?
• Before this challenging situation happened, in what ways did you enjoy or benefit from your work?

I'm curious about these answers largely because I'm trying to get a better sense of what your options are. It could be that you have more influence than you realize and/or your focus could use a shift.

I know in my past, I've been concerned about feeling threatened by coworker performance and what is being said behind my back, but when I changed my focus, my job became MUCH more pleasant. With a bit more information about your feelings about and performance in your job, maybe people on the forum can help you find a renewed purpose in your work that depends less on the opinions of others. You can only influence the opinions of others. You can't control them. So let's explore what you really do have control over to find some solutions.

Trust me. I've cried in the work bathroom before. And plenty of other places. It sucks, big time. But it doesn't have to be that way.