Lifetime underemployment

Sometimes I hear about people struggling to find work for a year coming out of college and it reminds me that I have been unemployed for most of my adult life, so I am doing much worse. I'm almost 38 now, and still considering jobs and study, volunteer, etc.

I guess I have just been indecisive for my whole life, and that's why I have ended up where I am.

I could've gotten work as a cleaner or something like that, but I suppose I have avoided that because I would have felt bad about myself for underachieving in my life. I probably should have studied because I have social phobia and I would need a specific qualification in order to get a good job. I have no people skills so I am unable to move my way up in a job, or to get a job that requires social skills, so yeah, a specific skillset would be required.

I am 38 and still thinking about making these decisions or whether it is now too late. I don't know what I would have in mind. Maybe work as a locksmith or a gardener, stuff like that. I am on disability now, but I am starting to look for work again. And again I just hate myself for just looking for work, instead of making a plan for myself, something thought out and planned rather than just browsing online for jobs.

My plan is to read a book about what job would be good for me. I suppose it would be something to do with animals, that seems achievable at my age, and I wouldn't mind it.

If you get too focused on trying to makes plans and figure out what you think is best for you, it can easily prevent you from doing anything at all.

You just need to go "do". Anything. Do anything. Try different jobs. Cleaning, manufacturing, stocking, delivery... there's a lot of things you can just 'do' that requires limited social skills. Until you figure something better out. Figuring out whats best for you is no reason to not do some sort of work in the meantime.

At some point you just have to accept where you are and take something on that you can actually do. It may feel beneath you and underachieving to just clean, per say, but doing the smaller jobs in life is achieving much more than doing no work at all.

I really do hope that you find the confidence and belief that their is nothing wrong with having a job that serves a purpose until you get around to realizing/developing more potential in your eyes and trying something different. I am a full time college student and I work part time at a hotel. Yeah, it sucks. I don't have to. I could go live with my mom. But I like what my job offers me, which isn't just money.

Have you considered trying to get a job at an animal shelter? It would get your foot in the door with animal work which is quite valuable for future prospects in a field with animals.

Hi Ms. Toilet - I'm new here but your post really stood out to me. I feel like you just explained my exact feelings on working & a a career. It's a tough thing, we (meaning society) puts this pressure on us to think that our jobs define us, and I was entirely too guilty of this just 2 years ago. I think your idea of finding an aptitude test or book of careers (I just saw one at Barnes & Noble, can't remember the title but it was basically a list of sorta off the wall yet super interesting jobs) is a great first step. I've been tossing around the idea that perhaps my job doesn't have to be so form-fitting, if that makes sense? Perhaps I can have a "lesser" job that I enjoy (say, working in a pet or book store) but be able to enjoy the free time it would provide & find some life fulfillment that way.

Those are just my thoughts on this, let us know how it's going!

Thanks for the feedback, it's been interesting.

I do look for menial jobs, although I haven't had an interview in a long time. I'm too out of practice.

My fear is that I'll just end up taking these jobs not as a stepping stone but as a permanent job and I'll be completely unsociable, and I'll be defined as whatever the job is and I'll be undateable, etc. But as you point out, any job is better than unemployment so I probably need to challenge this thought.

On the other hand if I just went and got a job, I would just be fulfilling my usual pattern of being unemployed for long stretches, then panicking and just going and getting a job somewhere, anywhere. Then repeating that pattern. I want to ensure that I don't get into the same trap next time.

I have considered volunteering at an animal shelter, it would have to be a no-kill shelter I suppose.

I don't think the problem is accepting low paying jobs so much as it is not having a plan for myself. I think not having a plan is the reason why I don't accept low paying work, because I see it as a dead end when I have no real plan for the future.

The answer I guess is to have a plan and also to just find whatever work I can do as a first step.

I'm in my 40's. After being laid off in 2012, I have had a really tough time. I was unemployed/underemployed for a while. I finally found a job last year, but the owner turned out to be an abusive bully. Plus, he didn't come through on any of the promises he made when he hired me. I was doing a highly skilled job, but was being paid the salary of an unskilled job. I quit last month because I couldn't handle any more mistreatment and it was clear he was not going to change.

I wish I had answers for you, but I'm muddling through myself trying to figure out the next step. I have an interesting idea I want to turn into a business, but there are issues with permits, business address, etc. I need to sort out. It's complicated because my husband and I are renters, meaning we can't use our house.

Is there any sort of business you could do - maybe some sort of personal service like teaching a skill you have, pet sitting/dog walking assisting an elderly person who needs help with some things? A friend recently quit his job at a vet clinic and is now doing dog walking. He is always busy.

As far as your interviewing skills, do you know anyone that can help you practice? That might make you feel more comfortable.

I have to reply to this cause this is me to a tee. I am 42 and have had many jobs and I am skilled in most. I get bored with a job and then I quit or get fired then I find another one, and it usually sucks. I am struggling with finding a school program that I want to do for the remainder of my life but also pay the bills and more. I hate having to apply at fast food restraunts. But I have learned a valuable lesson in my journey, Pride goeth before the fall, wether you read the bible or not, that saying is true! I have had some terrible jobs just to get by while applying for others. Right now I am struggling with my shotty job history and underemployment, and I have a felony on top of that. And yes we all know they can't discriminate but we all know they do.

I was right where you are and I just had to humble myself just enough to gain momentum.
One more thing: "Never make a decision based on Fear!"