[TheBoyIsNoone]

Hi all, I just signed up with this forum - feeling more depressed than usual so went online for help (as one normally do).

I work in gambling industry - high management position, huge pay (for my country terms). It is stressful, and I cant stop worrying about problems from work even when I'm home. The fact that the business runs 24h operations and I am treated like hotline support, does not help at all.

I want to quit - I cannot get out of bed in the morning at feel sick in my stomack for the most of the day. I get a mini heart attack every time the phone rings with a new problem. When I am back from work I cannot get myself to do anything. I just stair at the ceiling (and wait for the next email/call).

I told my wife I wanted to quit but she begged me in tears not to (economic situation in my country is pretty bad). "Think about our kids" - she said. And I do, I understand her point, but it's getting harder every day, and I am getting worse every day. I am dead inside.

Any advice?

[BipolarMama31]

For me and many others, we cant work and rely on disability.
Ive been in that position handling millions of dollars of sales and thousand of customers in my territory who could call at any time with issues and i lived my whole life around work, never able to really turn it off. I had a huge break down emotionally and now im on leave from work waiting for disability.
I think if you are able to continue working, and it's safe for your mental health, consider a lower stress position. If its at the same company, or a different one.
I can say that i lived in that amount of stress from work for years and i finally cracked and now i cant work at all, let alone care for myself.

Finances are hard, especially supporting a family. That was my role to support my husband and 2 kids. But health comes first, even if it means a less stressful job, with less pay.

I realized i was a terrible mom and wife because i was so stressed all the time every weekend i would spend in bed depressed. Thats not healthy for 2 young kids or fair to my husband.

Good luck! Take care of yourself first.

Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk

I think the best course of action would be to look for and secure another job before quitting this one.

In the meantime, set some boundaries about your availability when away from work ... Even if it's turning off the phones and computers for 4-6 hours so you can have a little downtime and enjoy some peace and quite with your family and get a little rest.

Your bosses and co-workers may grumble a little at first, but as soon as they see you are serious about needing and deserving a little "me" time, they'll adjust.

Again, don't quit until you've got another job, that would be tragic, but just knowing that you are doing a few modifications to your availability while looking for something else, most likely will ease a bit of the stress, depression and tension you're feeling.

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

[TheBoyIsNoone]

Originally Posted by BipolarMama31

For me and many others, we cant work and rely on disability.
Ive been in that position handling millions of dollars of sales and thousand of customers in my territory who could call at any time with issues and i lived my whole life around work, never able to really turn it off. I had a huge break down emotionally and now im on leave from work waiting for disability.
I think if you are able to continue working, and it's safe for your mental health, consider a lower stress position. If its at the same company, or a different one.
I can say that i lived in that amount of stress from work for years and i finally cracked and now i cant work at all, let alone care for myself.

Finances are hard, especially supporting a family. That was my role to support my husband and 2 kids. But health comes first, even if it means a less stressful job, with less pay.

I realized i was a terrible mom and wife because i was so stressed all the time every weekend i would spend in bed depressed. Thats not healthy for 2 young kids or fair to my husband.

Good luck! Take care of yourself first.

Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk

Thanks for replying. What you are describing is exactly how I feel on weekends. I guess I have to act before it gets to the breaking point.

[TheBoyIsNoone]

Originally Posted by Pfrog

I think the best course of action would be to look for and secure another job before quitting this one.

In the meantime, set some boundaries about your availability when away from work ... Even if it's turning off the phones and computers for 4-6 hours so you can have a little downtime and enjoy some peace and quite with your family and get a little rest.

Your bosses and co-workers may grumble a little at first, but as soon as they see you are serious about needing and deserving a little "me" time, they'll adjust.

Again, don't quit until you've got another job, that would be tragic, but just knowing that you are doing a few modifications to your availability while looking for something else, most likely will ease a bit of the stress, depression and tension you're feeling.

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

Thanks Pfrog. I have tried that. Finding another job before leaving and succeded quite easily - but it was paid much less and we would have to move to my home town. Her response was that it would just be the same as here because that is the way I am - putting everything into work. Maybe she is actually right.

As for turning of my phone - that's practically quitting in my situation. I've been with this company for 8 years, but now I am at the point where I just want to leave and move to a desert island. I was motivated by money in the beginning, but I dont know how to find motivation do simple stuff like putting dishes in the washer, let alone for working with this gambling company.

My suggestions would be to look at your sick leave policy. If you are ill, how long will you be paid for? Use that time to rest and recover, and then look for a job in the pharmaceutical industry. They pay well and if you find the right company, it isn't as unethical or scary as it might seem. They pay well, you get a car and good package. PM me if you like, I did this. I will try and find contacts for you in Croatia and send you links to read. Good luck and keep posting! Hugs from England.

[hvert]

Originally Posted by TheBoyIsNoone

Thanks Pfrog. I have tried that. Finding another job before leaving and succeded quite easily - but it was paid much less and we would have to move to my home town. Her response was that it would just be the same as here because that is the way I am - putting everything into work. Maybe she is actually right.

Could you take 3-6 months to develop a plan for coping with your current job based on the assumption that your wife is right, that the problem is that you are putting too much into the job and burning yourself out? Is there anything you could do differently? If you were starting a new job today, what would you do to make sure this doesn't happen?

[BipolarMama31]

I agree with the other posts, do you have short term disability or fmla you can use for a break to get some medical help? Or time to look for a new job?

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[TheBoyIsNoone]

A quick update. I ended up in hospital since Tuesday. I had all symptoms of a heart attack - even blood tests indicated massive heart attack. The diagnose is now "broken heart syndrome" which is basically stress induced damage to the heart muscle. The good news is that patients usually recover within weeks. Anyway, I'll be using that sick leave after all.

[TheBoyIsNoone]

Originally Posted by Little Cat

My suggestions would be to look at your sick leave policy. If you are ill, how long will you be paid for? Use that time to rest and recover, and then look for a job in the pharmaceutical industry. They pay well and if you find the right company, it isn't as unethical or scary as it might seem. They pay well, you get a car and good package. PM me if you like, I did this. I will try and find contacts for you in Croatia and send you links to read. Good luck and keep posting! Hugs from England.

That is awsome. I will be using the sick leave now since I ended up in a hospital with a "broken heart syndrome". I will need some time to rest and after that I migth actually take you up on that offer to send me sone links/contacts. Thanks a lot and hugs from Croatia.

Wow
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...yself-to-death

[TheBoyIsNoone]

Originally Posted by Little Cat

Wow
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...yself-to-death

That sounds familiar :/