Why Is Income Such A Taboo?

We share so much about ourselves in this new era. Social media, to me, is like reading someone's private diary. To me, I'm older generation, sometimes it's really too much.

Now I am happy to finally hear people being more accepted in their sexual choices. Compared to when I was growing up.
Stick with me here.....

So more people are talking openly. My question is,
Why are people so guarded when they're asked about their income? How much do you make doing that job?

Does it reflect their self worth? Do they think this is such a private question? I'm sure the info, thanks to the Internet, is out there, but why is this question so terribly avoided?

We ask about culture, politics, religion, sexual orientation etc etc but not....."hey you make good money doing that?"

What do you think?

People don't want to tell because they think they make too much or too little. They don't want you to know their financial situations because they're afraid you're going to want something from them. They either put on phoney airs above their means, or they pretend not to have money, so nobody tries to get any from them.

I Agree with tisha. Plus, if something pays well after several years, it probably didnt at the beginning. You probably need an education or training for some jobs. As with anything, you will get out what you put in. So maybe people dont want to sound like high school counselors? You can get this information at the library, so probably online too - starting or median salaries for all occupations.

I don't discuss my income with anyone who doesn't have a need to know simply for security reasons.

I used to discuss it with coworkers. It was frowned upon, but we all want to know we were getting equal raises and commission paid correctly ect.
I dont go around telling family or friends who mite ask for a 'loan' or whatever.
But in the office we liked knowing we were getting paid the same for equal work.

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I can understand the idea of people not wanting to talk about their financial situations....but is that simply based on the fact they think every person will ask them for money or try to steal it?

Can we go a bit deeper & ask...if someone knows my income...will they judge me? Is that what their worried about?

Another avenue might be coming from the authorities that are above at work. Are we expected to be quiet about our income for fear of losing it. Or that authorities above make the rules.

We talk about taxes...we give advice on investments, but we keep this number so closely guarded to our chest. Are we worried about big brother? The government? When did this change occur?

Reminds I got ridiculed by now ex friends for not being equal in salary status. They have financial issues couldn't keep food in the house basically living beyond their means wife bragged how much she makes. It was a mistake to tell them anything income shouldn't be anyone's biz but your own

Yes I can understand that ladytiger, but that is my ultimate question.
Why is it such a secret & why does this secret hold so very much value in people's lives?

Yet many air their deep sexual secrets all over social media.
Is money & its value, hold us in such a tight bond?

Why are you asking? Like where are you coming from on this? At first i thought you were asking why were people so uptight about sharing info about careers you might be interested in, but now it seems more like a philosophical discusion?

Besides security and mooching purposes, I have no clue either. If someone I know and trust asks me, I have no problem telling them my salary and student loan figures.

We get judged by how much we make I guess that's why we keep it to ourselves.

It is an older ettiquette rule that those of older generations like myself tend to adhere to and respect. Certain things we just respect as off the table for polite discussion: politics, religion, salaries, sex, etc. It is called a boundary. It is just understood as a polite boundary and you respect in both ways.

Yes I guess I see it as a philosophical question.

We all hate to be judged & in many areas of of culture we've seen improvement, acceptance & some evolution.
Yet when it comes to money, which I feel drives every human, this has been a stagnated area.

I know it's not a quick answer...more of an open discussion....

I agree with Lolagrace about this. It is a boundary. I realize that in today's world people share all kinds of personal information of social media, but the whole world does not need to know intimate details of my life. There are some things I only share with people I am close to.

personal story - several years ago I got a substantial raise at work when our contract got renegotiated. I told a couple of friends about it with the intent that they might be happy for me. Every time I saw one of those friends after that she made some snarky comment about my raise. It hurt, but I kept my mouth shut. Finally one day I mentioned how it made me feel. I commented that I'd told her hoping she would be happy for me, but felt like she was jealous. She said she was jealous. A part of me wanted to tell her to go back to school, get her Master's degree, get licensed in the field and put up with the agency's BS for 10 years then she might make the same thing I did. Instead I kept my mouth shut and swore I would not discuss my income with other people ever again.

Thanks for sharing lizardlady. Yeah they should've been happy for you.

So is money the root of all evil?
It does devide us all...into the "haves & have not..."

I know my company discourages its employees from talking about their wages. They always tell us if we say anything to anyone about our finances other than our supervisors it's suppose to be a bad thing. Idk why it's like that. I'm not wealthy by the way, but good question.

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I think the reason we don't talk about income freely is because there's a LOT of potential for hurt feelings, stress, tension and awkwardness, and not very many opportunities for positive outcomes.

Yes, some people will be jealous. They may not understand the work goes into your job, and just see the salary, and think "why do they get so much". Or they may pity you for making too little. Or try to convince you to change careers ("you know, if you'd just listen to me and go into accounting, you could double your salary! Who cares that you suck at math and hate sitting at a desk all day, you could double your salary - eventually!)

Yes, people will ask you for money. But, they'll also criticize you if you don't lend/give it (because you have "so much"). People will try to tell you how to spend your money. People will tell you that you're managing it wrong. ("You don't need to save any more, you're fine, just come on this cruise with me! Or just buy this crazy expensive dress, even though you don't even wear dresses!")

Really, it's not anyone's business, and a salary alone doesn't tell you much about what's going on with a person. They may have student loan debt, mortgage debt, or may be trying to save as much as possible for retirement. Heck, they may have expensive medical issues or need to pay for therapy - all of which can mean they have less available to spend then they "should" based on their income, and none of which is really worth discussing with people. You end up in a position where you have to justify your expenses.

The last thing I need/want is someone telling me that I shouldn't spend so much on therapy, and should just go on a vacation or buy some stuff that I don't need, because "you can afford it!".

I don't think there's much room for good outcomes. Occasionally, it's important, and I'll share one-on-one if it's for a good reason. I'd share the info with my sister, for example, because I trust her and because she's never ask for anything or pressure me for money.

But, I'd never tell my parents. My dad already harasses me for money to support his crazy ex-girlfriend - he has NO need to know my salary. Not going to happen!

And... you want to hear something funny? I also refuse to tell my mom how much vacation time I get! She pressures me to visit, and I really don't enjoy traveling or visiting her at all... so it's better if she thinks that I almost never get time off! It's so, so frustrating to have someone like that, that relentlessly pushes you to do what they want without any concern for what you want... I hadn't thought about how similar my issue with vacation time is to money, when it comes to my mom at least. It's like she wants to lay claim to my time, and the best way to prevent that, is to not let her know how much there is. *sigh*.

Thanks, interesting discussion.

It's the fear of identity theft or tax audits. Many people have had their life savings lost to identity theft.

I think they do that, especially in white collar jobs, because people can be making significantly more or less than others doing the same job.

It is that way in my field. When I worked, there was no set wage for a position, it was what I could negotiate. The company has a range of wages they work within, if you were a better negotiator and had a little more leverage than someone else you would make more, even if the jobs were identical.

For the original question, it has been like that for as long as I can remember which is far before the WWW existed. I have no idea why.

The taboo on disclosing income has existed for decades, maybe longer.

Other people knowing your income is not nearly enough to pull off identity theft and certainly wouldn't trigger an audit.

I've worked for companies that fired employees who disclosed their wage. Draconian, IMO.

Personally, I was raised that it was rude to "discuss money" outside the family. I'm from the South.

I used to be very wealthy. I didn't disclose my finances or my vacation home because it seems snobby, although I'm a humble person. Additionally, if you are wealthy, many people are jealous. It's tacky to flaunt it. I lent money to others and donated money but didn't tell the world. It's private. Gauche, really, to be some upper-class show-off. Sometimes the lifestyle embarrassed me, really.

So that's why I never talked about it...as to being rich. Money is a tool, not a status symbol.

Now? I'm not rich anymore. I'm disabled and a single mom. I'm not poor. Frankly, I don't know how much I have...it's a guesstimate. I don't mind people knowing I'm on SSDI. They can deduce my finances from there.

People don't like talking about taxes because it's boring. Some people get irritated by the subject of paying taxes. Logical deduction would be that those defrauding the govt wouldn't disclose that.

Money isn't important to me if I have the bills paid plus an emergency fund. Money definitely doesn't buy happiness. I know this firsthand.

Hi Rainy and All

Money should be a taboo at the workplace just in case you happen to work with destructive people.

If your salary gets better, you can lose friends/allies. Besides, if the management are unethical, they can make everyone earn less than they should and use the team to dampen aspirations of individuals to get better paid.

These have been my recent experiences, and that is why from someone who used to believe salary should not be taboo, I have converted to the contrary.

I have been working as a programmer for over 30 years. In one of my earlier jobs, I supported payroll which gave me access to certain info. When I snooped, it p*ssed me off because I saw that people were making more than me and they were not as competent than me. There was also pay inequalities because of gender. I don't find that is the problem now because of demand. Some of my family knows but my friends know I make decent money because of my profession.

Many moons ago I worked for the government. We were paid in "grades". I was a seasonal employee & the other seasonals & I were all paid the same. We could see on the grid system what our boss was paid & the levels of pay. It was all public information.

Now looking back, this makes me wonder more about this post I started. How income can effect our lives & how we feel about ourselves in general.

Does your income effect your self worth??? To many I think it does. My issue right now is that I'm a SAH mom. I don't have a pay scale or measure of self worth.
Some might say, well your pay is getting to stay home & be with the kids & helping out at home etc etc.
but many see worth in ourselves according to a paycheck. There is always that pull to jump on the gerbil wheel & chase after the Almighty dollar.

Thoughts?