[pumpkinseed]

I struggle with feelings of incompetence.
negative reinforced experiences from childhood and in past work. Part of it I believe is accurate to the flaws in some of my abilities, but I now believe a lot of whats causing me to fall behind, is my own built up beliefs about my capabilities. I've had math anxiety growing up, which also contributed.
in one of my last jobs i was humiliated by the boss for not being able to learn the system on the computer as fast. I think since that moment, which reinforced those feelings from childhood.. it has been hard for me to accept job offers when they come. I sell myself short, and am constantly self sabotaging.. sometimes not even responding back for the interview, because i feel incompetent from the start. Id like to hear from others, about your experience with these types of feelings and what helps.

[Yzen]

I can relate. I have a difficult time recognizing if I am competent or incompetent or somewhere in between. I know I have a distorted view of my work performance. I judge myself harshly, so at work I feel I am not as competent as my coworkers and that gets reinforced whenever I struggle with a task or make a mistake. The distorted part of it is that when I get feedback about my work, I get praise most of the time. The same with interviews. I go on interviews for jobs and overthink about every stupid thing I thought I said, but I still receive job offers. So, it is that harsh critic in our mind that distorts our view of ourselves. We are more competent than we think.

What has helped me is to try not to consider or even think about my performance at work or during an interview. Don't let it enter your mind. I know I have a distorted view of myself, so I trust that my boss or interviewer will figure it out for themselves if I am a good worker or good candidate. I accept how it will turn out without embarrassment because I can only do what I can do. I know it can be difficult to ignore the critical voice.

[LucyG]

One thing to keep in mind about learning things is that different people learn at different rates and in different ways. I can remember on several jobs how it took me a while to understand the job, but once I did, I had it down pat. My learning curve was very flat at first and then shot straight up once the pieces fell into place. You might be like that, and if you are, you need to nicely let your boss know that that's how you function. Don't be afraid to nicely defend yourself. Your boss will respect you more if you do.

With job offers, keep in mind that employers understand that employees need time to learn systems unless you tell them that you already know. And don't claim you can do things that you can't as lying on your resume can be grounds for termination.

[eyesclosed]

My experience has been bullied, harassed and even was given a fitness for duty test this is in production plant type of employment. some of it was age related yeah sorry but I also need shoulder replacement surgery so even if I could still do the job they have the employees they count on to make u want to quit never say anything about a diability at work to anyone

[bluecloud]

Pumpkinseed, I can relate. I don't think I'm competent at one of my previous jobs but my co-workers often claimed that I was fine, some even extolled me. What I discovered is that I had been working in a toxic environment. People had been sending me mixed signals, some people were harsh for no reason, some people were simply supportive. I became lost and confused as a result of their behaviors, so I have to remember it's NOT ALWAYS ME. It's not always my performance. It could be that some people are just bad at coping with their frustration, anger and anxiety! And of course, some are just simply not intuitive to people's feelings.