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  #1  
Old Oct 24, 2016, 12:08 PM
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seesaw seesaw is offline
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I am so exhausted I don't know where to start. I've been logging these very long work weeks, working at least 6, if not 7 days a week. It didn't really bother me until the past couple of days when a disruption to my sleep schedule has really put my ability to function in jeopardy.

A little history, with my depression and PTSD, if I don't get good sleep, all else starts to go to hell. I manage during the week and completely crash on weekends (except for the part of the weekend I have to work). Putting in 60+ hour work weeks wasn't hurting me too bad until this weekend.

I crashed really hard on Saturday...barely got up to do anything except take the dog to the park. Then, before I had to go into work on Sunday (yesterday) for a few hours, I took my dog for a short walk, and two small 8-10 week old stray puppies followed us home on our walk. I asked around and couldn't find owners to claim them. I took them inside and made them comfortable in the bathroom until I could get home from work. When I got home, I let them out, they romped around then fell asleep. I gave them baths and then it was bedtime....Well, one of the puppies didn't seem to like the idea of bedtime. She stayed awake ALL night. And kept me awake all night. And I needed to be at work by 7am, which is 2 hours earlier than I normally go in. I don't even usually get up until 8:30am. (I prepare everything for work the night before so all I have to do is get dressed and walk the dog before heading to the office, which is 10 minutes away.)

So on no sleep, I had to go to this very important board meeting and represent my organization on a very important appeal. And I do NOT function on no sleep. I know some people can, but I am not one of them. And then when I got to the office I realized I had a deadline today for a very important proposal that I had done no work on. I am so exhausted my brain can barely function--and this is because of my depression--and yet I'm going to have to find strength somewhere to not only make this proposal happen, but for it to be good work.

And I'm stuck with the puppies for one more night because the shelter isn't open on Mondays (they weren't open yesterday either).

I feel like things are falling apart around me...I'm going to have to call in sick at some point this week, and I think it's going to be tomorrow, just to get back into the right head space.

I don't know if any of this post makes sense...I'm running on fumes.

Thanks for listening.

Seesaw
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
Hugs from:
Anonymous37863, Anonymous48850, Anonymous55397, guilloche, HowDoYouFeelMeow?, hvert, Moogieotter, Skeezyks, unaluna, Yours_Truly, Yzen

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  #2  
Old Oct 24, 2016, 03:00 PM
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Skeezyks Skeezyks is offline
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Hello seesaw: I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time at the moment. (Thanks for saving the puppies!) What's the old saying... "no good deed goes unpunished?" I wish you well with your efforts to rest up & recover.
Thanks for this!
seesaw
  #3  
Old Oct 24, 2016, 07:24 PM
Anonymous45127
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Those are really really long hours. I'm so sorry you're struggling. Your whole post screams exhaustion. I hope you can get a break soon.
Thanks for this!
seesaw
  #4  
Old Oct 24, 2016, 07:24 PM
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Yzen Yzen is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: North America
Posts: 2,168
Hope it gets better and you get some needed rest. Please take care of yourself, seesaw!
Stuff is going to hell and I just need a friendly face
Thanks for this!
seesaw
  #5  
Old Oct 24, 2016, 08:25 PM
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seesaw seesaw is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2014
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Posts: 8,406
Thanks everyone. I did reach out to a co-worker and she helped me refocus my thoughts on the proposal I needed to finish. 14 hours later my work day is over...I'm going in late tomorrow morning. I told everyone I would be in later. I might have to lock the pups in the bathroom for the night so I can sleep. They are going to the shelter tomorrow morning.

Hopefully I can balance out the rest of my week so I catch up on my rest...it's hard for me to "catch up" though. Once it's lost its hard for me to regain the energy.

Seesaw
__________________


What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
Hugs from:
HowDoYouFeelMeow?
  #6  
Old Oct 25, 2016, 11:21 AM
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seesaw seesaw is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,406
Well, I made my deadline. And took the puppies to the shelter. Turns out they were microchipped and I delivered them to their owners so they wouldn't have to be caged at the shelter.

I'm exhausted, and will get some good sleep tonight.

Seesaw
__________________


What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
Hugs from:
Anonymous37863, Anonymous37954
  #7  
Old Oct 26, 2016, 04:16 AM
passionfruit3 passionfruit3 is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2015
Location: California
Posts: 897
Yay a happy ending
Thanks for this!
seesaw
  #8  
Old Nov 01, 2016, 02:50 AM
seesaw's Avatar
seesaw seesaw is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,406
Ug...for some reason I haven't been able to sleep at all tonight and I'm out of my sleep meds. I need to go to the pharmacy tomorrow and see about the refill. I can't spend a whole night awake like this. Sigh. Thought things were going okay...now they're falling apart again.
__________________


What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
Hugs from:
Anonymous37863, Moogieotter
  #9  
Old Nov 01, 2016, 04:59 AM
Yzen's Avatar
Yzen Yzen is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: North America
Posts: 2,168
Things are not necessarily falling apart. It looks like a challenging day for you at work without the sleep. Hopefully you can get good sleep soon.
Thanks for this!
seesaw
  #10  
Old Nov 01, 2016, 05:55 AM
seesaw's Avatar
seesaw seesaw is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,406
Thanks, Yzen. That's me being a drama queen.
__________________


What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
Hugs from:
Moogieotter
Thanks for this!
Yzen
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