Work Christmas Parties

I already attended our company party last week and learned on Monday that my smaller group wants to get together tomorrow for lunch and an activity like bowling or movie or something. I thought I was done for the year. I am going to probably meet for lunch and skip the activity.

Oh and someone said "maybe we should do a gift exchange!" My manager seemed to ignore the suggestion.

We have a bar crawl for Saturday, if you don't go you get called 'boring'. Guess I'm going to be boring then.

Seesaw - Yeah, I think I agree with you (re: Secret Santa versus White Elephant). White Elephant is just *hard*, because even if you want to get something that people will like, you're essentially buying a generic gift, and I don't think there's anything that *everyone* will love.

Somebody actually brought... a "squatty potty" (it's a footstool that you put in front of your toilet, it's supposed to help... umm... I guess position you to pass things a bit more effectively?") My boss actually opened it up and was a good sport, but was clearly a bit confused by it. It was weird... but the woman who brought it actually chimed in, and confessed that she was drunk-shopping on Amazon at 3 am, and that's how she ended up with it. Ha. So, I guess at least it got a laugh? And, somebody else mentioned his wife was actually looking for one (a little bit TMI!) so he "stole" it, and my boss was able to steal back some alcohol that he'd been eyeing

It's a little sad though, when you leave realizing that quite a few people got things that they actually like, and that the person who put my gift together didn't do a terrible job - there were a lot of cool little things - but since they were ALL alcohol related, I couldn't use any of them.

I don't know. I'm apparently a little bit high strung so maybe I should just chalk it up to "not my thing"!

Anyway, I hope your Secret Santa exchange goes well, Seesaw! It sounds like you work with a pretty decent group of people, so that should help!

AutumnEmily - You're so lucky that you guys got to vote on the gift exchange, although I think my group would have voted "yes", as several of them seemed quite gleeful at the party! That's kind of nice that they're bringing in food, and not expecting you to spend time outside of work traveling to an evening party - though I agree with you, it's nice to get away and take a break. Hopefully the food is good? Desserts... yum! Hopefully it's yummy stuff that makes you glad to have stopped by!

Hvert - I SO agree with you about working with these people all day. I can actually imagine working with people that I like enough that a party might seem fun... but... it's sort of a long shot, isn't it? Sorry that yours was awkward, but good for you for making such a quick and clean get away

Ha - and no offense, but that's funny that you're getting dragged into white elephant even when you purposefully don't bring a present to contribute! That seems like something out of a sitcom! I wonder if there's a point where you just have to say, "I didn't bring a present because I don't enjoy these gift exchanges. I'm glad you all do, and support you having fun, but please, I don't want to participate!" (I guess that's one of those things that sounds great on paper... but people would get hurt/offended in real life, even though it's a very rational and non-offensive stance to take!)

Yzen - Did you guys do lunch with your smaller group? How was it? Do you usually go out to lunch with them? Hope it wasn't awful, and you survived it OK! I actually suggested to my boss that our smaller group go do something fun, just us, because the bigger team is just too big for me to really deal with.

Prefabsprout - A holiday bar crawl?!? Ha... I'd have to be boring too! At least they're not doing it on a weeknight... but yikes.. I'm not sure that bar crawling is the best way to spend time with people you *work* with (and therefore might want to maintain a somewhat professional relationship with!)

Oh well - happy holidays everyone!

Yes exactly my thoughts too. We are in retail so Saturday night is as good as a weekday, I have to be up at 6am for work next day so that's my excuse (I will be in bed by 10pm).

I am sure I would think of that woman as the "squatty potty" drunken shopper from that point on -- every day at work.

It was decided we would eat lunch at a place that has bowling, billiards , food, and a bar. It turned out to be a strange outing. One guy didn't like the menu so we all went to a restaurant next door. After eating, we went back and half the team sat at the bar (one teammate got a little drunk) and the other half stood around and talked. I was in the non-bar group...lots of small talk. No one bowled or anything. I am not sure it was a "fun outing".

OMG - Seesaw, I am so sorry. I just realized that I was *still* referring to your party as a white elephant party. I'm really not old enough to be having "senior moments" yet - so I'm not sure why the continuing reading comprehension failure on my part. I'm sorry!

Prefabsprout - Wow! I'm surprised that they're doing it during such a busy work time. I'm guessing it's a pretty young crowd? Glad you've got what will hopefully look like a great excuse for not going! You can always do the, "Oh gosh, it sounds like you had such a good time! It's really too bad that I had to work the next day... bummer!" thing when you see them afterwards, and dodge the boring tag!

Yzen - Ha! You know what, she's actually a really awesome person - she's kind of a superstar at work (she's able to do multiple specialized things fairly well, she works really well with everyone, and she's really easy to get along with) - so I'm sure there's no ill will towards her. I thought it was interesting to watch how she handled it, since I'm usually pretty socially awkward, and the fact that she just owned it and was able to make everyone laugh was kind of inspiring (though a little irksome - she sort of makes everything look easy!)

Oh wow, I'm sorry that you're outing ended up being not very fun. It doesn't sound fun at all - why go to a place with bowling and billiards if nobody is going to play? Even though I'm an introvert and usually hate "outings" with my work team - I've been to similar places, and being able to relax and focus on playing a game was actually fun and took the pressure off of the conversations.

That's weird that you all decided to go someplace else for food based on one person complaining! Interesting that it was a guy - I'm a female, and I'm a very picky, difficult eater, and when I go out with the team for something like this I either plan to just have water (and eat before/after with my own food in the office) or find *something* that I can live with (salad, sometimes with no dressing if I think the dressings are going to have difficult, odd, funky ingredients!) It seems weird that this one person decided that they needed to move the entire group - but maybe it was a more fluid process? Maybe he just said, "eh, this food doesn't look very good" and a few people agreed - which got everyone to move to the next place?

Anyway, glad it's over and you survived. Small talk doesn't thrill me either! I actually went to a social thing with another team once that I had worked with, and really liked. The guy I had been working with said to me, "Guilloche. They say that we don't talk enough about things that matter. So, how ARE you doing? How are the important things in your life going?"

It was kind of awesome, but... being work... I really couldn't launch into a diatribe against incompetent therapists, working with depression, and diet-related issues . Ha. But, I appreciated the thought!

Our agency had it's "annual meeting" yesterday. They don't call it a "party" because then we would all have to be off the clock.

They did something different this year. In the past the "meeting" was held at a restaurant or fancy hotel ball room. This year they held it at the local zoo. We got free admission to the zoo and could buy an annual pass for $10. Daily admission is more that that. It started late enough and ended early enough that we could spend time visiting the zoo before and/or after. We were also allowed to wear casual clothes given the location. I had a good time touring the zoo and bought myself an annual pass.

Attendance at the meeting is "voluntary" but upper management notices who comes and who does not. It is effectively mandatory. Several years ago I ran over my dog as I was leaving for the meeting (dog turned out to be ok). I called my boss, bawling and said I couldn't go to the meeting and why. She was an animal person and very understanding. I heard from co-workers that management types were asking why I wasn't there. I fielded questions from management types for a good six months about why I wasn't there. Thankfully they were understanding when I told them why I missed, but it proved to me that they really do note who is there and who isn't.

I hate White Elephants! Like our OP I would try to pick something nice for the White Elephant. I always ended up with crap. One year I got stuck with a "legal brief" (ladies big panties stuffed with tissue) and a porn tape. As a *** abuse survivor I absolutely did not see any humor in the "gift." The person who brought it said he hoped I wasn't offended. I told him I was.

Amen. Parties and work are frequently fraught with disaster, especially when you lump in gifts! Thanks for this prefabsprout!

I'm a little late and I don't work...BUT, I'm craving chocolate tonight and i don't see anyone NOT liking these chocolates..I too would have stole them or loved them if that was my gift.

The game is all in fun...and typically I have to try to remember that is what it is about FUN. We are playing this game at my house this year for Christmas Eve..I like the idea...I think it iwll be fun

They are a mixed aged crowd but some of the real partiers are older women. They had their night out, some of them were on earlies like me. I had good excuse though, son was working late and I got his evening meal ready for him late on so couldn't possibly make it.

I still have to go buy something for our White Elephant. I really don't know what to get. I was contemplating putting together a basket of alcohol or something with a flask.

I hate office parties, but I would love this one!! What a great idea!

Okay, we had our office party. It was fine. The White Elephant part was fun except for one thing. The gift I had opened got stolen so I went to unwrap another one. It turned out to be a gift card to a deli that's not even really that big here. And I was just really disappointed. A freaking gift card? What's fun about that at a White Elephant party? And after I spent all that time putting together my gift, and when I suffer from depression? So damn frustrating. BTW, the gift I brought got stolen until it couldn't be stolen anymore.

I don't expect anything from White Elephant really, but I do think there should be a no gift cards rule.

Like, I won't even use this gift card, because I don't really like delis. And of course because it was just a gift card, no one wanted to steal it.

Whatever,
seesaw

LizardLady - wow! Running over your dog and having to take them to a vet is a really good excuse for missing a party, but what an absolutely horrible way to spend the evening. I think even a bad office Christmas party would have been better. I'm glad your dog was OK! The zoo idea for the party sounds like so much fun, though any time you're watched that closely and have to deal with unwritten rules ("it's not mandatory, but not going will be noticed and you'll suffer some consequences!") makes me squirm a bit. I don't do well with those types of social expectations.

And, ugh. That white elephant gift you got was awful and completely inappropriate for work. Really dumb move on your co-workers part, I'm sorry you had to deal with it!

Little Lulu - Just strongly reiterating my agreement with you!

Misssy2 - Thanks . You know what though!? My mom actually sent me a surprise gift basket, that I just got yesterday... with CHOCOLATES and other goodies (that I really don't need and shouldn't be eating, but I am completely enjoying anyway!). It's from Harry & David's, and had truffles (!), chocolate cherries, caramel popcorn, nuts, and fresh pears. It was so sweet of her... and it was kind of nice to get to enjoy some chocolate, after watching my gift get snubbed! And, you're absolutely right... I know, it's about fun. Though I admit, I'm not really a "fun" person - lol.

Prefabsprout - Glad to hear that you had a good excuse, and didn't get harassed (it sounds like?). That's so nice of you to make a late dinner for your son!

Seesaw - I'm so sorry that you also ended up with a gift that wasn't useful to you! It's such a bummer, isn't it?!? I sort of wish that there was an acceptable period of voluntarily trading afterwards, as part of the game. If it was accepted as part of the game, maybe people wouldn't be hurt, and we could honestly say, "this is a fine gift, but I can't use it... can I trade with someone who can?"

The gift cards in my group were really popular, but they were ALL for Amazon! A gift card to a deli that isn't local (did I read that right?!?) sounds like a really terrible gift. Is it a big enough deli that you could possibly sell the card online? (I recently sold a gift card that I got a few years ago and hadn't used... I didn't get the full value, but it was nice to convert it to cash. Some of the places will let you trade them for Amazon gift cards, if that's something you could get more use of.)

It does suck to put so much thought into your gift, and to end up with something that's pointless. I'm sorry!

Hvert - I know, right? What a cool idea (re: having the party at the zoo). Hmmm you know, that gives me a few ideas to suggest for next year. (We've got a zoo and an aquarium local to me!)

Everyone - hope everyone is surviving, and that the majority of the office parties are done by now! Just a few more days... I'm not a really Christmas-y person, so I always look forward to just getting through this and starting the new year.

Happy End of 2016! Hope everyone finds lots of joy, love, and success in 2017!