Disappointed

Don't know where the appropriate place for this is, so I am sorry if anyone feels spammed...

Yesterday IEEE sent me a survey about my experiences as a woman in a technical field. Mostly they were the "agree/disagree" type of questions, but there was an open-ended response at the end asking "What questions so you wish we had asked in this survey? Is there anything else you'd like us to know?" So I dumped the following into the abyss of an anonymous survey response. (I don't know what I hope to achieve by posting it besides feeling like someone heard me, even if they completely disagree with me). Apologies for coming off as an ungrateful whiner...

Have you ever questioned your choice to work in engineering?
Have you experienced a disappointing disconnect with the technical education you received in college vs. the realities of an engineer in the workplace?
Do you ever ask yourself "Is this really all there is?"
Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have a career in a different field?
Do you ever feel like the things you do on a day-to-day basis for at least 40 hours a week have no real significance other than playing a part in a corporation's venture for profit?
Do you ever feel like you should be giving back to the world instead of making a paycheck to pay back your engineering school student loans?
Do you ever get a knot in your stomach thinking about all of the possibilities in the world, and realizing that what you've chosen is the reality of your life?
Do you ever feel like more than anything you want to make a change, but feel absolutely terrified of leaving everything you have ever known?
Is your job satisfying? Do/did you expect it to be?

I feel like I made a huge mistake. I was somewhat undecided in college, but with a strong aptitude for math, so I chose the easy path and got a BS/MS in EE. I loved learning in school, but I am sorely disappointed with how those experiences have translated (or not) to the workplace. My job gives me no satisfaction, and some in my life tell me I am expecting too much from a job, that it is only a job and one component of life, and I should seek happiness from within, but that doesn't help with the reality that I dread getting up for work every day and facing the same pointless monotony that I have seen for the past 5+ years. I feel like what matters at work is deadlines and profits, and I have never been motivated by either of those things. I have always been a curious person, I have always loved learning, I have always been academically gifted, but none of that has contributed to a satisfying career in engineering for me. I completed an internship in graduate school, which, as an internship, reminded me more of a semester-long project than the realities of waking up to the same responsibilities for 40+ hours a week. I have worked part-time jobs since I was 14 years old, so the concept of working is not new to me. However, I did have the expectation that after 6 years of education, I would be entering the world with the possibility of finding meaningful, satisfying work. I get paid more than I did when I was a waitress, and the stress is of a different variety, and I will admit there are a few days scattered here and there where I find myself engulfed in a Python scripting project that consumes my attention, but for the most part I feel completely and utterly disappointed. Not only that, I feel like there are living things in the world that need help, be they people or animals, that I am doing a disservice to by spending my time supporting the production test of image sensors. I am so scared that life is passing me by, and with each day that passes, I have missed yet another day's opportunity to do something meaningful in the world.

Not a huge mistake at all. Your education and engineering job has brought you to where you are today. It is a platform for you to move forward to a new career -- not something you have to feel chained to. Try not to think of your education and job as something you are stuck with forever. You do have freedom to change it. Think about your strengths, talents, your interests and values. Use that information to plot out were you want your life and career to move towards.

One of my coworkers left his technical job to go into nursing. Another one left a good paying job to open a bakery and she is doing well. Both of them had done some exploring and planning while working on their regular job until they reached a point to make the move. You might even discover there is something related to electrical engineering that would make you enjoy work more. It takes reflecting on what kind of work you enjoy, exploring/researching other companies and professions, and deciding what you value most.