[8techman2]

I have an issue with keeping steady, everyday jobs. I have no problems committing to freelance work, but it is unsteady and there's not enough work to make a living.

In the past twelve years, I have had ten steady (W-2) jobs. I quit nine of them within one month. I quit several within three days. My longest steady job lasted seven months. For the past six years, I have done nothing but freelance work. Until last Wednesday. More on that later.

A little background on my situation. For eight years, I had been living in a house I inherited from my parents, and it had been paid off. I had very few bills, so my freelance work was enough to get by. Two years ago, my brother, who was co-owner of the house (but didn't live there) wanted to sell it, so I agreed. I moved into an apartment along with my wife and kids. For the past two years, I had been living off the money I got from selling my late parents house. Over that time period, I made poor spending choices and did very little freelance work. My wife's income alone isn't enough to pay the bills. I eventually spent that money up and needed a steady job.

At the beginning of this month, I found an IT job that paid $25K a year, which was more than enough to cover our total expenses. I started last Wednesday. The job was very boring, as it involved basically looking at a computer screen monitoring a server. The other guys in the IT room looked bored too and didn't seem to be doing much. It was mind numbing sitting there for hours with nothing to do. My first instinct told me to quit.

After my second day on the job, I was wrestling with the idea of quitting. I didn't want to quit, as I had no backup and only $1,000 in my bank account from my tax refund. Right before I got my refund, I had borrowed $500 from my brother, who very reluctantly loaned it after giving me a verbal lashing about finding a steady job. I didn't want to quit, but I panicked at the thought of having to stare into space for 8 hours. On the third day, I called in two hours before my shift, and my boss was not happy. I was an emotional disaster as I wrestled with my decision to quit. I asked my wife what she thought, and she said it was my decision. I finally sent a very hesitant email to HR to end my employment. the HR lady called me and I told her the job wasn't for me.

On Sunday, I told a close friend that I quit. We then had a long talk about what I did. I felt really bad and ashamed of what I did. My friend told me to call my boss and see if I could get the job back. I did that, and he said that he had already hired someone else the same day I quit.

I still feel ashamed of myself and can't believe I left a good job when I had little resources and no backup. I now realize that I should have consulted with my friends and really took a long time to re-think it. Maybe I would have found a way to fix my boredom. Maybe I wouldn't have quit. I have seen a counselor twice about it already. I realize that I have a job commitment phobia.

Right now, I'm applying for other jobs and have had three interviews already. I want to prove to myself that I can keep a steady job and have some financial security. However, I'm afraid that I might not find a job that pays as well as this one did. I am open to all comments, suggestions, and questions you may have.

[Skeezyks]

Hello techman: Well... I don't know as there is much of anything I can offer here. I simply wanted to leave a reply letting you know I read your post & I wish you well.

It is going to be important for you to find some kind of job you can stick with. All of this job-quitting is going to come back to bite you at some point. I don't know if you're looking specifically at tech jobs. Perhaps given your temperament tech jobs, at least the ones you can qualify for at this point, simply aren't the best choice for you now. Just a thought. The important thing here is going to be to find something you can stick with so that you can begin to develop a consistent work history. Good luck with your job search!

Originally Posted by 8techman2

I realize that I have a job commitment phobia.
Right now, I'm applying for other jobs and have had three interviews already. I want to prove to myself that I can keep a steady job and have some financial security. However, I'm afraid that I might not find a job that pays as well as this one did. I am open to all comments, suggestions, and questions you may have.

I had the same phobia. Then I got a really good job and I decided I wouldn't leave the job. The first few weeks were REALLY bad. I wasn't trained and sent out like a lamb into the woods. I got screamed at few times and actually was pulled aside by the boss and told that I stunk. I actually did, because they wouldn't let me go to the bathroom -- yes literally I would go 8 hours without a bathroom break. I was absolutely fighting every instinct that I had. But I kept doing, "I will stay 3 more weeks" -- see if it gets better. And 12 years later...

It got better.

When you feel yourself wanting to run... try to imagine a day when you understand all the procedures like an expert and have good friends working there with you. Remember no job stays the same forever-- you get new job responsibilities, bosses, co workers... etc. Promise yourself you will stay one year no matter what.