[strivingforgrowth08]

So the only 2 posts I've done before this one has been about my interview(s) for the position that I got.
Now what my issue is my anxiety has shifted from not being sure I was qualified for the job through my interview skills but now I have to able to briefly public speak on the spot and give a business overviews at some point.
Let me try to break what has happened down because you probably have not read my past 2 posts.
-I work retail and applied for entry level management position and I have down some interim positions to help the executive team out and I was in a elevated sales floor position at the time so I have been growing for a while.
-I was freaking out before the first interview cause I know when it comes to anything with communication and articulating my thoughts, I suck at.
-I figured I would be revealed as a fraud if the interview didn't go well.
-I actually thought it went well, after the first one because I attempted to meditate with no experience briefly before the interview, but it did seem to help.
-I thought it went well also because the interviewers made me feel
comfortable.
-Well they sat me down and told me I need to make sure I know how to platform and my interview skills are not where they should be. Everything else I strive at, they said I am a completely different person on the sales floor with employees and customers and they say my confidence just diminish in that interview.
-So I reinterviewed and I didn't feel it went very well because I was so nervous this time and I felt like the pressure was really on, but my answers made more sense and were more concise which they said in my last interview, they were not.
-Well I got the offer and one of the store managers said he could tell I worked really hard to improve my interview skills and I was much better but its something we will need to look at it in the future.

So now I have the job, I happened to take 2 weeks of vacation just cause I have been burnt out. I have been working 6 day work weeks cause my company has allowed us to do so and I got addicted to the overtime.

Well I have been enjoying my vacation but I am freaking out cause I have the early shift on my first day back which means... We have a morning rally we call it to get the employees amped up for the day, we talk about sales, current promotions, news you can use, etc. So like 10 minutes before the rally the manager in charge who got all of the morning stuff rally delegates all the topics to each opening manager. So I could potentially get handed a topic about a charity we are currently raising money for, or I could talk about hitting our credit goal or something. Well, it sounds easy until you actually have to do it. When I was interim managing there was one day I could not get out of talking at rally and I sucked, one of the managers saved my *** (excuse the language lol) but it happened.
I was telling my therapist about this (who I just started seeing) and I honestly don't even know if therapy is helping. I know I gotta be patient but basically she said "wow well can you ask them a night ahead so you can prepare?" and I laughed and said it does not work like that at all. This content is crafted up in an hour and a half by one of the opening managers. I know this is stuff I am constantly around though as I am part of the company already but my mind goes blank.
The thing is this is only 15 minutes of my day. The other part of the day I can thrive in cause I have already done this job as an interim manager. I just always got out of talking at rally cause we only did them twice a week but that has changed now.
I will also have to give a business overview presentation but I feel like prepping for that is more acceptable than having to admit I have to prep for a little pep talk.
My therapist is more holistic but she mentioned beta blockers for my situational anxiety. I have purchased udemy courses to help with my anxiety, communication skills, etc. I just need to do them.
So I maybe need really tap into some mediation techniques, I don't know. I just don't know why I am like this. Why is public speaking and presenting so effortless for others?
What will it take for me to get over this HUGE WAVE of public speaking anxiety? Well its not even just that, I also suck at talking on the spot which is probably why my interview skills have suffered.

[Skeezyks]

Public speaking was always a disaster for me. So I feel your pain. Best wishes for continuing improvement!

[woe-be-gone]

Ten deep breaths.

You are good at what you do.

You love what you do.

Everyone believes in you.

You believe in you.

You proved your dedication and perseverance to your employer at your interview and they've commended you by awarding you a job. You recognised you needed time off when you were burnt out and they awarded you with vacation time because you have worked extremely hard for them. Most importantly, you are taking care of yourself by using therapy as help. You are doing great!!

[notz]

When I was in college I somehow managed to get through my fears of speaking in front of others. I don't know how I just made myself do it. Since then I've heard of Toastmasters International. I don't know much about them but see posters and banners for them periodically. I like the sound of it. Why don't you check them out, it could be a good way for you to break out.