"You can't blame everything on your PTSD"

That's just one of the discriminatory things my boss said to me. He also said, in a very mocking fashion "You can't just go up to someone, punch them in the face, then say, oh it's okay, I have PTSD."

He's challenging that the day I went home from work sick (with HR's permission) that what was happening to me was related to my PTSD and not just me being insubordinate. He wants to say I was being insubordinate and that I am just angry because I didn't get the VP position or something. Which is not true. I've stated numerous times to numerous people, including him that I didn't expect to get the VP position, but I applied to get feedback and start a conversation about a bigger role for me at the organization.

Here's the thing, now that I'm a few days recovered from the epic flashback I went into, I can give you a blow by blow description of what was happening during the one on one meeting with the new VP and what was being triggered into the flashback. I can tell you how every time she got up to her desk and fidget with things behind me, that I thought I was back in my mom's cabin and she was messing around with knives behind me that I thought she was going to use to kill me or herself. It didn't take much to put my whole being, mentally and physiologically, back into December of 2010 and me thinking I was going to die.

Then on top of that, when I go home to take care of myself and recover, I then get hit with all this discrimination and everything, which makes everything, the flashback, the panic attacks, all my symptoms a million times worse.

I can't wait to get on a witness stand, or at least in front of a mediator, and tell this story, and walk away with a huge settlement for what they did to me.

How dare he pretend like a) my disability isn't real and b) like nothing happened to me and c) like I would exploit it to my benefit. In 14 months, I have only stayed home once because of my disability and gone home about an hour early 5 times, all with permission of my supervisor because of my disability. And for all these times, I assure you that I worked over 40 hours a week every time.

They don't even know the deep **** they are into.

But what I don't know how to deal with is how to go into work on Monday. I have to go to work on Monday and sit in meetings with this man, the CEO and the VP, I have a one on one with her. I'm going to insist that I be allowed to record my one on one meeting with her as a reasonable accommodation, so that if any cognition or memory issues I have as a result of any triggers occur, I have a real record to refer to that I can hear exactly what we talked about. It's not an unreasonable request and a suggestion of the Job Accommodation Network.

I also feel it will protect me from any continued discrimination.

Seesaw

Here is some advice from an objective position on the outside.

Offer to leave but only with a severance package. See what they offer. Because while I understand what you're saying, your employer has many legal resources available and can keep something like this going for years.

How are you going to support yourself in the meantime? Because basically if you get another job this employer is going to say you don't have a disability. If you go out on disability, well they can't say anything but you'll be living on disability income, which I'm sure isn't going to keep you in the lifestyle you have now.

Your days with this bunch are over because this is now a hostile relationship on both sides. Think of your future and what you want for that. Stop putting all this energy into this toxic situation.

Have you gone through EMDR therapy for the PTSD? If not, please investigate that. If it helps, it can change the rest of your life.

If I get a new job I can still fight for my disability. Having a disability does not mean you are unable to work. I was on ssdi before for my disability and my disorders qualify under the ADA definition as disabilities. Whether or not I get a new job will have no affect on my case against them.

Trust me, I'm trying to get out. But this is still very early in the progress.of this case, I need to have the proper claims filed and the proper things in place.

I'm with you, I want out, but I have to stick it out a while so I can get that big severance package. The other thing is that right now.they are running a million dollar deficit, so they aren't going to walk away from a severance without a fight. There is a process to this and I can't even sue until the eeoc investigates and says I can.

I'm not intentionally putting energy into a toxic situation, but I have to struggle though it a bit so that I come out well on the other side. Also, your philosophy is the kind of philosophy that allows employers to keep doing this to the disabled. So I don't find it very supportive.

If my posting about the situation I'm in bothers you or annoys you, then you don't have to read it or respond.

It's not like you made a habit of leaving work for this reason. It's a game to them. The more they upset you the more your likely to leave. Anyways you work in a at will state you can leave anytime you have too.

Exactly, eyesclosed...I work close to 60 hours a week, it's not like I'm flaking on the job when I have an 'attack.'

When I think about the way those idiots are treating you, I think of this picture:



I wish it was legal to do that to people like your bosses just to show them how people like us feel

Regardless, I would leave but before leaving, try to get everything that you can out of them; unemployment, severance, and/or a lawsuit if possible. Bleed them dry not out of a desire for vengeance but a desire to survive and thrive. Get enough money to live for at least a year while waiting for a disability application to process or another job offer from a company that will respect your rights and be sure to bleed them for extra funds too to treat yourself to something nice because you deserve it!

Sometimes, I think you are too nice of a person. Not that your kindness is a bad thing; it's a nice breath of fresh air from somebody that's been through such trauma when many would become selfish and corrupt from experiencing anything close to what you have.

Sometimes, one has to put down the pen and pick up the sword in life

I hope I'm not being rude. YES! I have to get out, but I have to attempt to do it methodically to get as much as possible out of the situation so I can survive, as darkness has said.

I am extricating myself, but I can't just walk out for multiple reasons. I have to maintain my reputation as a reliable worker aside from the occasional illness, just like any other employee. So far, I can still claim and prove that.

I will be venting about this until it's over, so if it's going to.bother anyone to hear about it over and over, put me on ignore now, lol.

Seesaw

I love that meme. Need to put it on my Facebook.

Try EMDR. It's effective for PTSD.

Vent all you want!

I'm pretty sure that if people here had a problem with others speaking their minds, I would've been put on ignore by half of the PC community already

You are also welcome to PM me any time if you need to talk or just vent. Even if I don't respond right away I always read every message that comes my way rather quickly

God. The people at your job are treating you terribly, seesaw. Hugs if you want.

Please keep posting about your experiences with your workplace and what you are doing to overcome the discrimination and maltreatment. You seem to have a good understanding of the system and I have a feeling you are going to come up on top! Hang in there and do what you have to do. I'm behind you!