[KindoverRight]

So I was hoping for some advice on how to deal with stress without putting it on others. Maybe this should be in the Bipolar thread but I think anyone could have insight about this issue.

Basically, I started at a good paying half-time job in my field about a month ago but I also still teach at the same time. I finally got the hang of the split schedule but both positions require totally different modes of thinking which has me more mentally and emotionally scattered than I expected. So far I haven't reacted poorly in any given situation but I know I tend to snap more easily the more comfortable I get in any environment/relationship, so best to stop the problem before I externalize it.

When you're teaching, you have to take the lead, make hard choices quickly, and there is a power dynamic where you are firmly in control. As a control freak, I love this. The problem is; I manage students too closely and then I want to do the same to my co-workers.

Other the other hand, this part-time job is very collaborative, in a setting where feelings matter, and where we all depend on each other to move forward. As a control freak, I'm a bit more uncomfortable with this but as long as everyone is communicating it's fine. Still, pretty much the exact opposite. The problem is; I can't take a back seat in my teaching and I now have more anxiety about depending on other people (like my TA) for my teaching as well.

tldr; I'm anxious about not having control at work and I'm anxious about trusting people at school. How do I manage these feelings when they're out of place?

Considering how opposite these modes of interaction are, I don't think it's surprising that it's hard to balance the different kinds of stress they cause. However, I'm wondering if anyone has any tips on how to compartmentalize a bit more. How can I keep my feet planted firmly in both roles without feeling like I'm constantly in a conflict with myself? How do I put aside a work problem to be a better teacher and vice versa? I care about both of these positions a lot. It's the first time I've been happy in a while and this balance is going to be needed at least through next fall semester so I need some way to cope.

[hvert]

Wow, I don't have any advice for that situation, but coping with those two different roles sounds challenging! Would meditation help with something like that, to get you in the right frame of mind right before you start teaching or working at the other job? Or a walk or physical movement that would help signal the shift?

[KindoverRight]

Thank you for the advice and sympathy! I do have a good drive across town after I teach but that is typically kind of stressful. Perhaps I can find some ritual to help me get in the right mind set during that time Ritual works very well for me in general. I just need to figure out the right thing to encourage a more collaborative, relaxed feeling in me.

It's especially hard when something goes wrong with one job right when I have to go to the other : /

[seesaw]

I feel like I have advice or suggestions, but I need to consider for a bit...so I will comment later.

Update us if you can.

Seesaw

[reb569]

I can actually relate to this quite a bit. My job has changed some now so I'm not working so many types of projects.

Up until the beginning of this year, I handled the 2.2 million dollar budget for our division, and also handled a major portion of our website updates, and was actually the lead for my division in the redesign of our company website. These two types of projects really clashed with each other and there were times where I would be working on budget, and would get interrupted with questions about how to incorporate new content into our website, or visa versa. It was very challenging. I handled it quite well until a family emergency in March of 2016, and after that it became much more difficult to manage due to my CPTSD, anxiety and depression.

The biggest thing that helped me, was when I got to the point where I was unable to manage one project or another, I would go for a quick walk or go for coffee in order to break my stress and get back to where I was able to be productive again.

Currently, although I'm no longer doing budget, my job has expanded in other areas. I still am the division lead on website, but also work on ADA Compliance, Google Analytics, Workflow management under the direction of my boss, who happens to be a jerk so, I'm kind of in the same boat again, but for different reasons. I have tried mindfulness/grounding techniques, and they do help me once I get home, but I have struggled to make them work for me at work.

Best of luck. I'm going to follow this. Hopefully you will get some advice that me help me in my situation too!