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#1
Jun 16, 2017, 10:41 AM
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I want to cry right now. The pace at work is break-neck speed to meet our revenue goals by June 30th. Certain monies we expected to come in aren't going to come through, so we are making last ditch efforts to find new clients to make our goal. In my industry, it's not often that you get a new contribution in a few weeks of beginning the relationship.
Anyways, the pace is exhausting me right now, especially because I'm doing double-duty right now, trying to get our grants submitted on time that will bring in money next year, but my boss yelling at me to focus on money that comes in before June 30th. I can't just blow off deadlines on money that will come in during our next fiscal year. Then she has to argue with me on every little point. She'll say "I just want it to be really clean in the database and easy." And it is, and I'm trying to tell her that, but she just shakes her head and won't listen. And then she'll cut me off and say, we'll talk about it after June 30th. And I'm like, then don't ****ing bring it up now! She keeps doing that, telling the whole team to be singularly focused on bringing in money before June 30th, but then starting conversations about processes or whatever, then when we try to respond, she cuts us off and says "we'll talk about it after June 30th, why are you thinking about this now?!" And we're like, BECAUSE YOU ****ING BROUGHT IT UP! She just sends so many mixed signals, I feel like I'm doing the hokey pokey. And then on top of that, I feel really unwell right now. I'm having chronic fatigue symptoms, lots of anxiety, and my depression is really severe right now. I want to just take a sick day, but I can't even do that, because I'll get yelled at for being sick. She talks to me like I'm not trying to bring in any money, when I just brought in $100,000 this week alone. I appreciate her leadership and direction, but she needs to stop leaning so hard on me. I got the message, I'm doing my job, no dawdling around. But I'm going to cry right now because I'm so overwhelmed. Seesaw
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 What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
 Anonymous52222, eyesclosed, Onward2wards, reb569, Turtle_Rider
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#2
Jun 16, 2017, 11:09 AM
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Honestly, I don't understand why you don't just quit. It's obvious that this job is making you miserable.
I would try to find another job even if it pays less or even get on disability because even if you must downsize your living expenses, it is better than dealing with so much needless stress and unhappiness. You don't owe them ****. Your life and your well being are more important than their stupid deadlines and their own personal problems. I would submit your two week notice and run away from them and never look back. Personally, I would sooner be homeless before working for people like that but that's just me. |
 Artchic528, seesaw
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#3
Jun 16, 2017, 11:15 AM
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I know you mean well, Darkness, but I wish people would stop suggesting that I just quit. This is part of living and working with a mental illness. Once I have my accommodations in place, hopefully things will be better. Also, my old boss, her company is looking for someone who does my job, so I'm going to apply. It would require a move, maybe, or I might be able to telecommute. But the move would only be a couple of hours away. Not out of state or anything.
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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#4
Jun 17, 2017, 03:57 AM
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Quote:
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"Do you know what’s really scary? You want to forget something. Totally wipe it off your mind. But you never can. It can’t go away, you see. And… and it follows you around like a ghost." ~ A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon) (2003) "I feel like an outsider, and I always will feel like one. I’ve always felt that I wasn’t a member of any particular group." ~ Anne Rice |
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#5
Jun 17, 2017, 08:42 PM
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Quote:
Seesaw
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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