How do people get jobs with poor social skills and/or mental illness?

Ok so since starting college and finally adapting to my schedule after 2 weeks, I made the decision that it is logical for me to try to get a student position through the work study, which should hopefully be straightforward even though I have my doubts.

I'm currently working 2 days a week on job interview training as well as receiving advice and resume and cover letter building help from an employee and I even received advice from one of the managers there.

However, I'm still facing one significant barrier: poor social skills.

While I am making progress in learning what to say and when during a job interview or even less formal social encounters, job interviewing has always been a significant struggle for me.

I have trouble talking without stuttering when put under pressure. I also have trouble knowing some basic social ques like knowing when to make eye contact and when not to, how to position my arms, what facial expressions to make (my facial expression is always neutral unless I'm around people that I feel comfortable around even if I'm angry or sad, for example), how quickly or slowly I should speak to people, and how to shake a hand properly are all examples of things that happen in job interviews that I have trouble with.

I am still working on improving myself in this area, however, I can't help but to think that I'm still going to have some difficulties with interviews in 2 weeks which would be the time it would take for one of the student positions to call me for an interview.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is how does one with poor social skills or anxiety issues even find employment? I have seen plenty of people with poor social skills hold down jobs and I've even seen plenty of people here on PC talk about their lack of social skills or mental health being a barrier for them to hold a job or do a job optimally, but these same people are at least able to get a job.

What is the secret? How is it done?

I hope someone has some good advice, because I feel the same way. I am always jittery and nervous, and if I'm not, it's because I'm really tired or on heavy medications! I don't know how people act normal without it being an "act!" I have to work from home because I can't handle being in an office job and dealing with the different social aspects.

Ugh...my social skills suck. Not helped by the fact that I'm basically perpetually sleepy despite getting decent sleep and end up getting anxious due to thinking that I'll say or do something stupid.

I'm trying to remember my approach to the last job interview I did for my current job. It was a long time ago. What I remember is that things just seemed to click for me that day.

I do struggle in face to face communication so I can relate to your struggle. Interviews have always been tough for me.

I'll throw out a few pointers that I think worked for me, under the hope that someone with some better skills will come along with more, or better tips:

• Handshake - At beginning and end, firm but don't squeeze too hard, don't hold too long. Give a greeting.
• Eye Contact - Always hold contact when the interviewer is talking to you or when you are talking to him or her. It's ok to look away just a little when no ones talking, but don't look to far away, drop your eyes, turn them slightly to one side or the other. Don't look away enough to have to turn your head back when talking again.
• Sit attentively (don't "kick back"). Hands on lap, but don't hug yourself, keep your arms open, closed arms signal unease.
• Keep your responses concise and to the point.
• Practice, practice, practice. Especially with answers to some open-ended answers you might get.

It's good that you are doing job interview training.


Good luck!

I don't know if this works in your area, but try to apply on startup company or small company with small team. Mostly they are more easier to get. Instead of talking about your personality, they're more into your skills and capabilities. Especially if your job requires portfolio (such as design), they would look at it instead paying attention on your gestures.

Try to googling about the good gesture and common interview questions. If you have trouble with eye contact, look at their forehead. Just keep looking at them unless you need to not. For facial expression, I'm only smile if they're smile too. And don't forget to ask them some question about work to show your interest.

Analyze them too. Mostly, if they're abusive in interview session, they will abusive to their coworkers too.

I have posted about this before, but where I live there is a program called "Youth Job Connect" offered by the YMCA Employment Center for people ages 15-29. You complete 60 hours worth of workshops/a work booklet that you are paid for so it's like a paid job in itself. The workshops vary, but some examples are social media etiquette, communication, ways to shine and much more. After doing the 60 hours your profile is sent to a group of job developers that connect you to potential jobs that suit your qualifications and interests. They will help you prepare for job interviews and buff up your resume as well. They will work with you until you secure a job.

I finished this program and although most of the workshop information was nothing new to me, it may be useful for those who have not had the chance to develop those skills before. But the program did help me find a job that I still work at today and it is going very well. Look around at the resources offered in your area, you may be surprised to find something similar to this. There are also programs here for adults over 29, but they are slightly different.

I wish you would have specified in the first place that the program was with the YMCA and not something pertaining to Canada like you had me thinking that it is.

I will give it a try provided it doesn't interfere with my college schedule. I tried a similar program not too long ago but I had to drop out of it because they wanted me to come to an orientation which they would only do Tues and Thurs which are my two college days.

I can't afford to miss any days at class because if I do, not only will things become even more difficult but I put my financial aid at risk. I'm unwilling to risk losing financial aid which is the one thing that is actually guaranteed to help me in order to take a risk on some random program and give it a chance that may or may not help me find employment and even if it did, college is more important to me right now.

I will try some of the advice provided here about improving my social skills and I will at least look into the YMCA program you mentioned, however, if they won't work with my college schedule than I will just have to put hopes into the work study and/or trying some freelance work.

Do you mind if I ask what kind of work you're interested in? What would you like to do for a living in an ideal world, and what would you like to do right now with your current set of skills and experience?

This program only operates in Ontario, Canada. It is a part of Employment Ontario.

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I don't have the greatest social skills, either. Social decoding has never come easy. People often complain about my lack of expression. Apparently I don't talk and smile enough. I don't care, because I don't give a **** about talking to strangers.

I tried working in retail and in restaurants. I failed, because I'm too introverted. My last attempt, which was in a watch repair shop, lasted two days. I quit, because I hated it and all the people. Working there was nearly impossible and very distracting. It was very difficult to find work until I started looking into work that fit me. This included finding the right environment that would allow me to succeed. Right now I'm working as an apprentice clock maker three days a week. I work out of a shop that is in a private home. Customers have to set up an appointment. This works really well, because there are no interruptions from people coming and going. My persistence and talent are the other reasons I was offered an apprenticeship. I passed the work trial. If you are good at what you do, people will definitely notice, especially if you are passionate about your work.

The school employment program is probably the best way to go. Over time your instructors and fellow students will get to know you, and will be able to recommend you to potential employers. Another poster mentioned looking into start-ups and small companies. I really think this a good idea.

I'm returning to school in the fall to train as a professional machinist. We will be creating portfolios of our work. Will you be doing the same?

In an ideal world, I want to work for myself doing online resale or freelance work. I hate regular jobs with a passion but realize that I will likely need one for the time being to get some stability in my life while I work towards my long term goals.

As far as regular jobs, what I wouldn't mind doing is some type of entry level computer work or some type of data entry or clerical work. I don't see myself functioning well in fast food or anything that deals with a lot of people.

I'm ultimately not picky at this point because I don't plan on working a regular job for any more than 2-3 years and that's a conservative estimate.

Go figure. Freaking Canadians have it made haha

Since I want to ultimately get into freelancing, a portfolio will be paramount so of course I will be building one over time.

In the mean time, I will simply continue doing what I've been doing and hope that I can appear to be good enough as I learn more interviewing and social skills.

Darkness, I will be honest and say that while I have good social skills, my social instincts suck.

I learned to have good social skills doing exactly what you're doing. Googling how to behave in an interview, taking cues from my other co-workers about how familiar to be with them, etc. I've had to work really hard to handle myself in social situations, and I will still tell you that my social anxiety can be really bad in some situations.

I think the key, honestly, is practicing. If you need to role play to practice, do that. Or if you can just set up lots of interviews and do it for the sake of interviewing (and maybe you get a job too, that would be cool) so you can get used to the process and how to handle yourself.

There is no secret. It's just practice and being prepared. I think of every question they could ask and I write out my responses to them. Then I practice saying the responses out loud. Even if it's just to my dog. Another good thing is getting a friend to look at the job description and point out questions they may ask and how you think you are going to answer them. They may have tips for how you could answer certain sensitive questions that won't raise an eyebrow.

Good luck,
Seesaw