Does anyone else struggle with the job search process simply because they feel horrible crippling guilt and anxiety when asking for references? I feel like I'm wasting people's time. Not to mention that I HAVE had a negative response from one person I asked who was suggested by one of my other references. I needed to have five references for one job and I was having trouble finding a fifth one that was relevant.)

I also don't have a huge long list of references, because I can only use half for some jobs and the other half for other jobs because of each persons' relevance to the job, if that makes sense.

I'm quiet and I don't know a lot of people. And I'm so afraid to ask...even people who have no problem writing one. I feel so HORRIBLE.

[PenWithNoInk]

I think I know that pain.

I feel anxiety when asking about... anything, really. I'm not sure I would classify it as crippling, but it could very well be and I'm just afraid of overstating my "disadvantage" :/.

I feel this way if I ask a professional contact that I didn't make an extremely good impression with or that I don't feel has my best interests in mind.

If what you feel is similar, I wouldn't call it guilt or feeling like you're wasting people's time so much as being afraid of being let down by the people you ask.

I understand this feeling.

I feel nervous and badly about it even if it's someone I have made a good impression with and has expressed that they would be happy to write one.

I just find the whole application process to be confusing and stressful and I often need a lot of help filling out applications because I can't tell what I'm supposed to write or not and then I have to ask references EVERY time, at least for some of them. I can't hardly bring myself to ask them to be a reference once, let alone every time.

I would say if you've asked someone to be a reference once and they said yes you shouldn't need to ask every time. Not sure how it works in where you live but in the UK references aren't taken up unless there's a job offer so it's not like referees have to write one for every application.

I have written character references before and I am always flattered to be asked, it is a compliment IMO.

[Teddy Bear]

I left my references section blank on my last application. People who were my references don't know how bad I am mentally

I feel weird and awkward asking people to be references, yes.

[Altarian]

my issue is i don't really have anyone who i can ask to be a reference and the few i do have aren't the best references because they are just as messed up as i am.