[Girl*In*Camo]

So I've started actively looking for jobs recently. I've sent out a few resumes already but haven't heard anything back. Most of the places I've applied for, the closing date for the add wont expire until mid august, so I have some waiting to do. Which is frustrating when you're struggling financially and could definitely benefit from having that extra money.

I haven't worked since before my daughter was born over 3 years ago. What I was doing before I couldn't go back to because I wasn't able to work those hours anymore. When my daughter was 2 I decided I had to do something different so I signed up for a college program. I've graduated now and am finally able to look for work.

I'm scared as all hell for so many reasons. I haven't worked in forever, I have never done this type of job before, not on that level anyway so I don't have much experience. My anxiety has been in high effect lately and I try to manage it everyday and push through which I usually can do but some days are way harder. It took me months to even begin look because I was so scared I would fail at this and everything I've gone through to get to this point would be for nothing.

I've been waiting for the day where I can go back to work and feel like I am doing something with my life. I am not a stay at home mother type and I need to have my own career, something that I am passionate about.
That day is here and I am scared beyond belief. I don't know what the universe has in store for me or how this will all turn out, I'm hoping it's a positive experience, and if not then I will just grow from that experience.

I just have so much cooped up in my mind that I never get to express.
I need to let it out somewhere...
Thanks for listening.... well reading.

[Yzen]

Starting a career can be scary, but I don't see it as a pass or fail situation. Focusing too much on how it could be a failure might be causing you much of the anxiety. I think that first job is a starting point to learn as much as you can about that kind of work. If it doesn't work out, you use what you learn to find a second job that is different. I feel once you have experience in a field, you start to see a variety of related career paths and can move towards one that works for you. I've done that in my job.

I hope you find something very soon!