Hello

Hello
I am new to the site although I have thought about joining for some time. I am a recent graduate from a program I didn't want to do. I only did it because I had another career path that I wanted to work out so bad but I was not able to get a job in it.

The program that I have graduated in was something I did not even want to do. I just wanted something that I could do so I could get my life started. It didn't really help that alot of my family members are also in the same career and I did feel some pressure for most of my life to be in this career choice.

Throughout the program , I have thrown up, dealt with headaches. Tried to do self help and tried to talk to friends. Most days I feel tired but I keep trying to push through the days . I quit my part time dead end job in anticipation of graduation and in hopes it would relieve my depression but it hasn't .

I have a job interview tomorrow for a job through my mom's workplace. I'm sure other people will be happy to be in my position to get a job straight out of school but all I have done all day is cry and feel like I gave up on my life by choosing a career path I knew I would hate. I feel so much that I should have tried harder to find a job in my original field but it was just so hard . I feel really hopeless and guilty because I should be happy to get a job and build my resume.

I have been seeing a counselor about my concerns and I do not really know if I am succeeding with her. My doctor has more or less told me to suck it up with my situation. I feel so helpless and guilty .

I am struggling with my own job, but in a different way. So I feel for you.

I'm not sure this will help, but when I was younger I was pretty adamant about the type of job I wanted. And most of the time I was able to get the type of job I wanted (which was usually through temp agencies). That built up my experience and got me going. I'm not sure of your situation, but I was able to stay at home until I could hold my own. I know that not everyone can do that.

I do totally sympathize with not wanting to do something you are feeling forced to do. I wish I knew the right words. Hopefully others will throw in some advice that will help you to either move into the career you really want or to help you accept this job you aren't really wanting to do. If it's making you sick, I'm inclined to say don't do it. But those are my words.

Sorry you are feeling helpless and guilty.
First, let’s look at the good things about you.

You can persevere—you know keep on keeping on! That’s a great trait, which will come in handy in any field.

Also, you chose (with pressure) to go for a career path where you were more readily employable—than the career you wanted, which was difficult to get into. There is nothing wrong with that—you made a realistic choice.

Feeling ‘helpless,’ is a case of your feeling lying. You (as evidenced above) are quite strong. So, just know that your ‘feelings’ are lying to you—and in your head you have joined them in berating you and making you feel badly.
Your lying thoughts say things like, “I’ll never get out of this mess.” And “how could I have been so stupid?” In invite you to cancel those abusive thoughts. In your head, tell yourself you are not ____________ whatever the lie was….

As for feeling guilty—if you feel you have wronged yourself—then forgive yourself—and let the past go…because it truly is gone; and all you have is today. You did the best you could at the time. The past that you keep thinking of is just a memory. Feel your feet on the ground, you butt in the seat==this is now. Live in now. And “wrong path’ is only an idea in your mind. Change it to “worked hard and got degree/certificate.” Quit beating yourself up.

I have a favorite saying to help me live in the now. It is If you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow—you are peeing on today.

I’m glad you are in counseling—good luck at the interview—and let us know how you are doing.