I need to talk about work. In March, I started seeing a new therapist. Her bias is that you should do something that interests you for work. Is this true though? What if you're an artist like me? I mean, sure I can sell my stuff on the side. I also like meditation and spirituality a lot, and religions interest me. I see no money in that.

As starrysky, I posted here a few times, confused about what I should do. Before I started seeing my new t, I was seeing a different t, and she was less biased, it seemed. Perhaps you could see it as she had less hope in me? Or you could see it as she was just more removed and wanted me to make up my own mind. I was interested back then, in going to vocational school for office technology or as a pharmacy tech. Even though it is not something I'm really all that interested in. It feels comfortable to me, and it feels...like a JOB, that I will actually be able to be making a living at. Money is important.

I THINK it was around the time I started seeing my new t, that I started thinking about science and language. Because she said "do something you're interested in.

I have NO ambition or cognitive ability to even think much about this at the moment. Its too stressful and I need a break. But I'm pretty obsessed, I have to admit.

What should I do about this? How to choose which path?

I've written about this in "coping with emotions." Sorry if its redundant.

[Deejay14]

First off you need enough $$to live. It's great if you can do something you really like, but as you said you don't see how you could make a living with your interests. If you feel like you could work at an office or pharmacy and get through the schooling that's great. You can love your job to the max but if it doesn't pay the bills.......then you would have to figure out if you would have the energy to work another job. I would look into programs in these areas and then make a decision. Also as you get older it's much harder to work another job besides the full time one. Just some thoughts on your post....

[seesaw]

Doing something you're interested in is different than don't settle for anything less than your dream job. I have interests in many things. So yes, I would agree that you should have some interest in the job you choose so that it holds your attention and focus.

As an artist, you could do many different things that touch the arts, so you make a living, but not relying on selling your art. Arts organizations have all sorts of jobs, from bookkeepers to marketers to data entry to people who work in the box office, to people who handle art and hang it, to people to design exhibitions or sets, HR, etc. I worked in the arts for many years as a fundraiser and grant writer. Had my free time to paint and dance and do my stuff, in the meantime worked for a big organization during the week to pay the bills. And got free entry to thousands of shows with big name artists, etc. And met a lot of incredible people.

So, that's just using the arts as an example. Let's say you were up for a job in a bookstore. Do you like books? Do you have an interest in reading? Well, that would be good for that job. If you hate reading, then a job in a bookstore wouldn't be a good fit, right?

So, it depends on if she just means interest in its simplest form, or if she means like find your dream and don't do anything else.

BTW, dream jobs are still WORK. In fact, often harder work, because it's your dream. I speak from experience.

Seesaw

Thanks.

Seesaw, I think I need to have a conversation with my therapist for clarity.

I also really just have a hard time choosing a direction. Can't even think about it now. I've thought about it so much, round and round. So I guess needing a break is natural.

Originally Posted by seesaw

BTW, dream jobs are still WORK. In fact, often harder work, because it's your dream. I speak from experience.

I appreciate this. I feel very stuck in the sense that I don't even move. I'm paralyzed in indecision and thought. I wonder if making work for myself might be a good step. Taking a community class, and also just pushing myself to finish what I start and have a practice each day. As much as I hate to admit this...I think I live kind of like a princess. I do what I want. It's hard to give that up! It's important to me to be able to work though and participate in society. I am glad to be on disability, but at the same time, it's like....it may not be helping me the way I need (to get off of it). This is only supposed to be temporary.

PS: is it important to volunteer steadily before I find a job? I volunteered (in an office for over a year, 2017 - march 2018). It was very dead end (and boring) and I quit. I have not found anything steady since then.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by KnitChick

PS: is it important to volunteer steadily before I find a job? I volunteered (in an office for over a year, 2017 - march 2018). It was very dead end (and boring) and I quit. I have not found anything steady since then.

It depends on what kind of jobs you want to apply for. Volunteering can help. But it's really a combination of your skills, your cover letter, your resume (which would include your volunteering) and how that all appeals to the particular job.

Originally Posted by seesaw

It depends on what kind of jobs you want to apply for. Volunteering can help. But it's really a combination of your skills, your cover letter, your resume (which would include your volunteering) and how that all appeals to the particular job.

Ok thanks. I was just wondering if it would matter to future employers that I'm not working right now or volunteering.

Knitchick, have you read the book, What Color is your Parachute? I forget the author, but I think that book could really help you to narrow down the possibilities. it's full of very helpful exercises that get you to think about and write down your interests, your skills, and your values even (I think) and to piece it all together in terms of a career path. It's been a while since I've looked at it or used it, but I think it could be just the book you need, if you don't have it already.

Also, the Meyers Briggs personality test and it's partner book, Do What You Are, by Barbara Barron - Tieger (spelling??) could really help too. Once you take the Meyers Briggs personality test and obtain your personality type, this book lays out what fields and specific professions suit your personality type the best..... it has a lot of detail around how your personality (and values) relate to the world of work. That book also really helped me through my career exploration... it validated for me that I was pursuing the types of jobs that suited me best. It all turned out to be very true for me and valid for my personality type!

And sometimes, it can simply become analysis paralysis if you sit and hem and haw endlessly over career options. Sometimes, you just need to start somewhere, take the first step and get an entry level job in a field of interest, or a volunteer position to see what suits or doesn't suit.

That's what I did. I first was interested in mental health, so I started there, but I was also interested in experiential education and travel, and Human Resources.... I tried it all, and bounced from career to career through various entry level jobs to eliminate possibilities and explore my interests. I wouldn't recommend career hopping necessarily, it's just how I explored my various career interests in my own life.

A vocational or career counselor can also also help, if you have the funds, but if not, I recommend the above two books since I think you probably need a little more concrete guidance. Hope that helps!

Thank you for the suggestions Eve!! You have been very helpful with my my stuff.

I have seen "What color is your..." in the library. I have been a bit intimidated by how much information the book packs. But it may be a good idea to check it out. I think I have heard of "do what you are." Have heard it is good so I will see if the library has that too.

Originally Posted by KnitChick

Thank you for the suggestions Eve!! You have been very helpful with my my stuff.

I have seen "What color is your..." in the library. I have been a bit intimidated by how much information the book packs. But it may be a good idea to check it out. I think I have heard of "do what you are." Have heard it is good so I will see if the library has that too.

You're most welcome.

These books are definitely very helpful and are not difficult. What color is your parachute is a very simple, step by step process. Think of it as if you were with a career counselor who asked you to complete a few simple and basic exercises. Since you seem to be struggling and are not sure where to turn or what to do, I think some guided exercises would help.

Thanks Eve.


PS: this is for everyone. I am afraid of working. I haven' worked in so long. I don't know how I'd do it. Can anyone give me advice or support? How do I not be afraid?

I ended up checking both books you recommended out of the library, Eve. I have been reading "...Parachute," and I like the way its written a lot. Its the 2017 version.

There's been a big part of me stressing and struggling because I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know where I'm headed. It's not a clear picture. I had a strike of realization, and then calm. The "I don't know." I believe there is a buddhist practice about calming the uneasiness of "the I don't know." Or perhaps it is just sitting with it, and gaining respect for it, and honoring it. There is so much we don't know and that is a mystery to us, and we cannot control it all. Eve, I liked what you said in one of my threads, to just take a step in a direction that interests me (I think you may have said to stick with it, too). Anyway. Tonight I am honoring "not knowing," while also moving forward.

[Cocosurviving]

Golden Eve and I had the same thoughts. A personality test is what helped me and it may have been the same one she mentioned.

Originally Posted by KnitChick

I ended up checking both books you recommended out of the library, Eve. I have been reading "...Parachute," and I like the way its written a lot. Its the 2017 version.

There's been a big part of me stressing and struggling because I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know where I'm headed. It's not a clear picture. I had a strike of realization, and then calm. The "I don't know." I believe there is a buddhist practice about calming the uneasiness of "the I don't know." Or perhaps it is just sitting with it, and gaining respect for it, and honoring it. There is so much we don't know and that is a mystery to us, and we cannot control it all. Eve, I liked what you said in one of my threads, to just take a step in a direction that interests me (I think you may have said to stick with it, too). Anyway. Tonight I am honoring "not knowing," while also moving forward.

Hi Knitchick, yay! I am glad you got the books! I really hope they help!

I was stressed out myself years ago when I didn't know which direction to pursue. Then honestly? Once I started working and exploring my interests through jobs, it became a lot easier. I did spend a few years exploring.. you may not have the same issue, but there's nothing wrong with taking some time to figure it all out. And it may take having a couple jobs in fields you're interested in to fully get there, ie, a place where you really want to be.

But yeah, working through the books, then coming to a decision around your first steps is a good plan, I believe. You can always change your mind later on, but I think it's good to stick to something once you've made a decision and see it through, in the name of "exploring". Sometimes it can be a process of elimination, which it was for me.

The main point being: try not to let it stress you out too too much... like you said, you're going to embrace not knowing, and that is perfectly OK to not know. You're now trying to return to work, and this is where you are at.

Sending BIG HUGS!

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Hi Knitchick, yay! I am glad you got the books! I really hope they help!

I was stressed out myself years ago when I didn't know which direction to pursue. Then honestly? Once I started working and exploring my interests through jobs, it became a lot easier. I did spend a few years exploring.. you may not have the same issue, but there's nothing wrong with taking some time to figure it all out. And it may take having a couple jobs in fields you're interested in to fully get there, ie, a place where you really want to be.

But yeah, working through the books, then coming to a decision around your first steps is a good plan, I believe. You can always change your mind later on, but I think it's good to stick to something once you've made a decision and see it through, in the name of "exploring". Sometimes it can be a process of elimination, which it was for me.

The main point being: try not to let it stress you out too too much... like you said, you're going to embrace not knowing, and that is perfectly OK to not know. You're now trying to return to work, and this is where you are at.

Sending BIG HUGS!

Golden, I'm just curious, did the books suggest you land on the career you are in now or a different field? I'm wondering if you should maybe go through the worksheets again, as I know you've mentioned your current field isn't for you?

Originally Posted by seesaw

Golden, I'm just curious, did the books suggest you land on the career you are in now or a different field? I'm wondering if you should maybe go through the worksheets again, as I know you've mentioned your current field isn't for you?

Hmm. Well, the books and a career counselor suggested either advertising or counseling (I am in digital marketing, so close enough).

I think I've decided which direction I should go in, which is still the same field, just a different type of position. I am basing this off of my talents and interests.... what I am mainly good at or best at within my field.

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Hi Knitchick, yay! I am glad you got the books! I really hope they help!

I was stressed out myself years ago when I didn't know which direction to pursue. Then honestly? Once I started working and exploring my interests through jobs, it became a lot easier. I did spend a few years exploring.. you may not have the same issue, but there's nothing wrong with taking some time to figure it all out. And it may take having a couple jobs in fields you're interested in to fully get there, ie, a place where you really want to be.

But yeah, working through the books, then coming to a decision around your first steps is a good plan, I believe. You can always change your mind later on, but I think it's good to stick to something once you've made a decision and see it through, in the name of "exploring". Sometimes it can be a process of elimination, which it was for me.

The main point being: try not to let it stress you out too too much... like you said, you're going to embrace not knowing, and that is perfectly OK to not know. You're now trying to return to work, and this is where you are at.

Sending BIG HUGS!

Thank you Eve!!

[luvyrself]

Knit shops r popular now. U could someday open yr own shop. I think one of the Debbie Macomber bus is,about a knit shop. Google for the title. The character had knitting circle. It did so much for knitters of all ages.