I just wasn't the "all guns blazing" type of person. I wasn't gregarious enough and I had zilch previous experience. And my confidence wasn't like it was before I got un-well and landed in hospital. I should never have tried to be something I am not. This didn't suit my personality.
At least...is helpful they said. When I paired up with this helpful person, they seemed to not notice I was there when they came in the clients place. They were like the terminator. They had everything planned in their head before even starting I could tell. They wanted to be good at this. It was just a job for me. But the whole team were meticulous even down to a few crumbs left on a work top. Nothing got missed. This job required you to be a perfectionist. There wasn't any room for error. Each client was completely different to the one before. I thought I could change but I was square peg trying to fit into a round hole. The team leader was right to begin with. I wasn't going to last. When I said I had to leave a week earlier than the notice because I had blood tests in hospital, your voice cracked up a bit. I had lost a bit of weight and a lot of the time it is cancer that causes rapid weight loss. Sorry I didn't want to worry you, I maybe should have explained it's not cancer.

I liked my food that's the truth. It was just luck that I settled for fish fingers and chips for tea time. There was nothing else I could eat.
Inbetween the four hours I couldn't eat KFC like one team. I hadn't done that stretch length of training before and I wasn't sure what I could handle food wise. The first time I ate cakes in the break and some fruit and planned to eat properly after. The next times I added cheese sandwiches or chicken sandwiches. I needed the protein. We ate at canteen the following times.
And as a teenager all these changes. Lost my puppyfat. Women's monthly troubles. Like many women I don't eat the same at that time. So I wouldn't have been able to eat enough to compete with the big guns. I couldn't keep up. I couldn't eat enough to embrace the training required. And I knew that I had gone as far as I could. I went out on a high in my eyes.

Woah. Calm down, I was up at 4am. And I wasnt copying your breakfast. I never ate cooked breakfast. I seldom had a hot lunch aside from toastie or panini, maybe baked potato.
And I DO NOT snore. And when I ring my hair in the shower it does make a loud noise when splashes. My hair was really long and thick. Box, was more half asleep than me.
And when I said you looked green around the gills, you gave me daggers. I was just meaning that you didn't look well and skipping one session is ok. But at the top level I see why you wouldn't. I did tell you that if you didn't change your diet , if you got unwell like a bad flu or got an injury, that you would take longer to recover. But who would listen to a drop out. I did get my SD grades and some highers. For years I wished that I had concentrated on school instead of tkd after my breakdown.

Why did Wal-Mart think it was controversial that when I was at a friend's birthday I joked on the phone about putting myself up for adoption. When I got un -well if dumb and dumber thought there was a way to get rid of me without dumping me on the streets, then clout would have persuaded Hubbard to wash their hands of me before they got sick of the sight of a potential waste of space. They wouldn't have given me a chance.
My curfew alone was reason enough! I'm finding it difficult to be civil to people because I can't fathom why they were and still are so blind. How Hubbard is a master at pulling the wool over everyone's eyes. If I hadn't cut my meds to get more energy I wouldn't have been brave enough to delve down. I just have to accept that I really was the scape goat at the heart of the families issues.

You don't have to be good at everything. Many intelligent people ARE required to be creative in their work. It takes more than memorising facts and figures to make it in the working world. Initiative and problem solving and people skills. And many people are competitive in every area of their lives and do exercise classes or sport to unwind or for fun. Some people are content to concentrate on what's important to them. At school we have do to everything. And eventually you need to decide what to specialise in, once you get to know your strengths.

I was more feminine than most of my friends. But they were worse than boys and all they cared about was the size of their boobs. I said that a boy kept looking at me in politics and someone said I was bonny. Bubbly was quick to correct them saying I had the prettiest face in our gang but....And she cut off because she knew I was self conscious about body image.

I know why you said some of the texts reminded you of channel U. David would say "aint" deein it. It was ain't. But It was Scottish slang at the end of the day. Double standards.

The mgmt song. It was the picture of you and your team mate copying the Britney and Madonna craze. That's what I meant by it. It wasn't appropriate for your career you must admit.
And the Ali g throw them down the well was obviously not literal. I meant that in the bible they are the chosen ones and I joked about you being wunderkind when I trained at the gym. You knew what I was on about. Some people thought it was anti- Semitic so I took it down once the people I intended to see it got the message.
It's easy to forget yourself on social media and I am most definitely guilty of being reckless or I just didn't think anyone really cared after I was in ward four.