Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Sep 21, 2018, 11:25 PM
William Munny William Munny is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 50
I get harassed at work...It's scary.

I don't like ppl, & ppl don't like me.

I wish I could just leave, but I feel sorta stuck.

There's no fight left in me, I'm too alone to be proud.
Hugs from:
Anonymous40127, Anonymous50384, Buffy01, Fuzzybear, KD1980, Medusax, MickeyCheeky, mote.of.soul, Skeezyks
Thanks for this!
Buffy01

advertisement
  #2  
Old Sep 22, 2018, 11:42 AM
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks Skeezyks is offline
Disreputable Old Troll
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
I'm sorry you are having to struggle through this. One of the really good things about being old is that I no longer have to work & no longer have to have anything to do with people in real life.
Hugs from:
Anonymous48850, Buffy01, Fuzzybear
Thanks for this!
Buffy01, Medusax
  #3  
Old Sep 23, 2018, 09:41 AM
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me healingme4me is offline
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
In my workplace there are spelled out steps that we can take in cases such as you describe.
It involves, expressing to the offending party to cease whatever behavior that creates a hostile environment or speak to the supervisor first and then try that step then go into a written statement that travels up the chain of command.
There's no room for hostile environments and it does trickle down and out and affects morale.
Does your workplace have any such methods in place? Personality conflicts don't have a place in professional environments. Sadly they do happen. At the same time it's not right having one's need for an income source made insecure over such petty nonsense.
Hugs from:
Buffy01
Thanks for this!
Buffy01, Fuzzybear, saidso
  #4  
Old Sep 23, 2018, 02:17 PM
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,641
I agree... there is no room for hostile environments. And it affects more people than the offender may intend

The offender would tend to be a “petty” and excruciatingly insecure person.
__________________
Hugs from:
Buffy01
Thanks for this!
Buffy01, healingme4me, Medusax, mote.of.soul
  #5  
Old Sep 27, 2018, 11:04 PM
William Munny William Munny is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 50
It's not easy talking to the supervisor about harassment in my line of work, He knows about it, but won't do anything about it unless I file a report. And I don't want to bring more attention to myself.

I wanna be the better man and not tease or hurt anyone, but don't wanna be a door mate either.
Hugs from:
Buffy01
Thanks for this!
Buffy01
  #6  
Old Sep 28, 2018, 04:11 AM
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
If this happens on a regular basis, I think you should file a report. You have the right to work in a safe place.
Hugs from:
Buffy01
Thanks for this!
Buffy01
  #7  
Old Sep 29, 2018, 08:18 AM
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me healingme4me is offline
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
Maybe just puff your chest next time and tell him to shut up and just do his effing job?
Hugs from:
Buffy01, MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
Buffy01, MickeyCheeky
  #8  
Old Sep 29, 2018, 09:31 PM
mwaxy mwaxy is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2018
Location: n/a
Posts: 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me View Post
Maybe just puff your chest next time and tell him to shut up and just do his effing job?

Because then OP would be considered a bully also...not good.
Hugs from:
Buffy01, MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
Buffy01, MickeyCheeky
  #9  
Old Sep 29, 2018, 09:37 PM
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me healingme4me is offline
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
Could be a matter of semantics? Asserting the desire for harrassment to end is assertiveness and not bullying.
If the person has time to be harrassing then clearly they are not being productive employees.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mwaxy View Post
Because then OP would be considered a bully also...not good.
Hugs from:
Buffy01, MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
Buffy01, MickeyCheeky
  #10  
Old Oct 01, 2018, 01:02 AM
William Munny William Munny is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 50
lol, I've try'd that, It did work for a short time. only problem with me being assertive is I find it hard to be proud of who I am.

He's someone with a beautiful wife, cute kids, lots of friends, and finds it fun to aggravate ppl. He know's everything about me, and knows how to use it against me.

I just keep to myself more then I did in the past, Don't have anyone I could call a friend. The last girl that talked to me was over a year ago, and I don't see that changing for me anytime soon. I know it, and so do my co-workers.

And Thanks I enjoyed reading your comments, They made me laugh, I don't know what I'm gonna do yet though, I don't want to do them any favors by quitting, but I don't wanna stick around with ppl I don't like.
Hugs from:
Buffy01, MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
Buffy01, healingme4me, MickeyCheeky
  #11  
Old Oct 01, 2018, 08:43 PM
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me healingme4me is offline
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
I hear you about not wanting to quit, but not wanting to be part of such a work environment. Financial security matters afterall. Maybe the power reclaim comes in the not giving the guy aggregating you the pleasure of quitting? Maybe his storybook life isn't all it's cracked up to be? I recently watched a video segment on handling bullies. It went in a different direction of deflection. I'm pressed to remember the examples off the top of my head right now. Was reverse phychology at its core. Eventually it resulted in nothing to come back and attack with from the bully.
Have you been keeping your resume current in case something better comes along?
Hugs from:
Buffy01, MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
Buffy01, MickeyCheeky
  #12  
Old Oct 04, 2018, 09:10 PM
William Munny William Munny is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 50
Things may have changed,

Works been slow, my friend who has wife and kids can't afford down time. I was told he may be working somewhere else now.

So now, I get to start a new start. I may quit my job anyway, but at least he won't think it's cause of him.

I'll likely never see him again either, at least not for a long time. He's never ran into me at the bar, or grocery store, or on the street. But if he knows me as well as he thinks he does, he knows I'm not afraid to pick a fight in any of those places. I don't need to fight co-workers at work. But outside a bar. I'm on my own time there.
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky, mrsselig
  #13  
Old Oct 25, 2018, 11:31 PM
William Munny William Munny is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 50
I'm walking a very fine line right now.
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #14  
Old Dec 09, 2018, 09:56 PM
William Munny William Munny is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 50
Dropped the ball again tomarrow's another day.
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #15  
Old Dec 09, 2018, 10:02 PM
Buffy01's Avatar
Buffy01 Buffy01 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,858
Quote:
Originally Posted by William Munny View Post
I get harassed at work...It's scary.

I don't like ppl, & ppl don't like me.

I wish I could just leave, but I feel sorta stuck.

There's no fight left in me, I'm too alone to be proud.
I completely understand how you feel. I am sorry that you are struggling right now!.
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky, William Munny
  #16  
Old Dec 12, 2018, 02:31 PM
Anonymous57363
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by William Munny View Post
I get harassed at work...It's scary.

I don't like ppl, & ppl don't like me.

I wish I could just leave, but I feel sorta stuck.

There's no fight left in me, I'm too alone to be proud.

May I ask why you don't like people? Do you mean the people in your workplace or people in general? A recent change?
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #17  
Old Dec 12, 2018, 03:15 PM
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
How is it going, William Munny?
Thanks for this!
mrsselig
  #18  
Old Dec 17, 2018, 11:28 PM
mrsselig mrsselig is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2013
Location: Windy City!
Posts: 44
Yes, thanks MickeyCheeky.....was thinking about you William Munny. Sending hugs
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky, William Munny
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky, William Munny
  #19  
Old Dec 18, 2018, 11:33 AM
saidso's Avatar
saidso saidso is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: Europe & UK
Posts: 575
I think that this is such a general issue that there may be third parties who could sit down and clarify how this can be improved. I used a trade union rep when I was working in a very macho environment with a bully boss. I've seen workplace mediation type people online - if you do a search on workplace bullying.
It does sound awkward because you believe that you are not a people person and that co-workers won't support you. But a third party might help you to identify what qualifies as harassment generally and how agreement could be reached to stop the worst behaviours. Like I say this sort of dominance is prevalent in certain industries?
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #20  
Old Dec 19, 2018, 08:25 PM
Buffy01's Avatar
Buffy01 Buffy01 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,858
Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me View Post
In my workplace there are spelled out steps that we can take in cases such as you describe.
It involves, expressing to the offending party to cease whatever behavior that creates a hostile environment or speak to the supervisor first and then try that step then go into a written statement that travels up the chain of command.
There's no room for hostile environments and it does trickle down and out and affects morale.
Does your workplace have any such methods in place? Personality conflicts don't have a place in professional environments. Sadly they do happen. At the same time it's not right having one's need for an income source made insecure over such petty nonsense.
That is great advice!
Thanks for this!
healingme4me
  #21  
Old Dec 19, 2018, 08:26 PM
Buffy01's Avatar
Buffy01 Buffy01 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,858
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
I agree... there is no room for hostile environments. And it affects more people than the offender may intend

The offender would tend to be a “petty” and excruciatingly insecure person.
That is great advice!
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #22  
Old Dec 19, 2018, 08:28 PM
Buffy01's Avatar
Buffy01 Buffy01 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,858
Quote:
Originally Posted by William Munny View Post
It's not easy talking to the supervisor about harassment in my line of work, He knows about it, but won't do anything about it unless I file a report. And I don't want to bring more attention to myself.

I wanna be the better man and not tease or hurt anyone, but don't wanna be a door mate either.
Start gathering enough evidence against the person before filing a report make sure it is enough that they have no choice but to get rid of this person
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #23  
Old Dec 27, 2018, 06:17 AM
William Munny William Munny is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buffy01 View Post
Start gathering enough evidence against the person before filing a report make sure it is enough that they have no choice but to get rid of this person
I don't need evidence at my workplace, My Boss would address it, if I spoke to him. I'm just not someone who likes to tell on ppl. May make me look soft, I feel It'd prove they where right. and just one more thing ppl come at me with.
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #24  
Old Dec 27, 2018, 06:42 AM
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is offline
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,008
Quote:
Originally Posted by William Munny View Post
I don't need evidence at my workplace, My Boss would address it, if I spoke to him. I'm just not someone who likes to tell on ppl. May make me look soft, I feel It'd prove they where right. and just one more thing ppl come at me with.
No matter what you say your boss would do gathering up evidence protects YOU. I cant tell you how many people I have had tell me that they thought their boss wasnt like that or that their employer was different than the rest.
__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
  #25  
Old Dec 27, 2018, 06:48 AM
William Munny William Munny is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky View Post
How is it going, William Munny?
I'm doing alright, thanks. Just a little bummed out being by myself all the time. holiday's are the loneliest. I haven't log in in a while, just needed a break from pc.

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. and happy new year.

__________________
“We do not inherit the earth from
our ancestors; we borrow it from
our children.”
Native American Proverb
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
Reply
Views: 4041

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:00 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.