[CatLover007]

I have been jobless for about a month and I won't say I have it very bad, because I don't think I do. I have managed to pay all of my bills and pay for my bus fare and go to interviews and I have, for the most part, been able to keep food on my table and pay for soap. I will be running out of money soon, but I have until the end of March at least. Maybe my anxiety/CPTSD/depression is just getting the better of me, but I feel so scared.

A bit of background is needed here, I suppose. I moved around a lot the last year and I got a job at a clothing re-sale place that was run and operated almost entirely by women. (There was one male employee that worked part-time and just re-stocked the store, but no one really talked to him and he just came and worked and got his money and left again.) All of the women at my workplace seemed great, but the longer I worked there the more I began to notice the cattiness and general mean-spiritedness that began cropping up. I'm not perfect and I can't say I handled things excellently, but it felt like being back at home. It was non-stop backstabbing and biting words; at one point, it felt like a terrible high school movie with cliques forming left, right, and center, and non-stop drama.

I didn't want to get involved in all of the fighting and scary drama, so I mostly just tried to be friendly. I live along "the Bible Belt" or super-Conservative part of the US right now and a few people triggered my CPTSD, including a manager/supervisor. I talked to the owner about it, since it was a small store, and was basically brushed off and told that she had said sorry so I should just ignore it and try to be a better employee. I asked her how I could improve and she said that a number of people had complained about me, so I asked her what the complaints were and she just said that it was general things and that she didn't really want to get into it.

I wasn't trying to argue or start a conflict with my boss and I honestly just wanted to know what she wasn't happy with so I could fix it. Anyways, things went further south and I got injured at work and then I went on vacation. Shortly after, my boss hired a bunch of new people, seven people (including two supervisors) quit, and then I had all of my hours cut out of the schedule. Out of desperation and no ability to gain income at this job, I eventually quit myself; I tried to be nice and grateful to my employer and end things positively.

Now that I'm looking for new work, I'm really scared of having to deal with people pushing and poking and being verbally abusive. I don't know; maybe I really do need to just toughen up... Any advice?

[Little Lulu]

Sorry you had a bad experience at your last workplace place Catlover. Good on you for ending things positively even though I'm sure you felt lousy. You know, I think you find those sorts of people just about anywhere you work but some places are worse than others. I am retired and do volunteer work and one would thing when you are working with volunteers in agencies that serve the needy, you wouldn't find that sort of pettiness but not so! I've found a few difficult people there also. One woman was particularly difficult when I first started this gig but over time it smoothed out. I did take some toughening up on my part. I had to decide I wasn't going to allow her to interfere with something I was enjoying doing and I think once she saw she wasn't getting under my skin (I'll admit I had to fake this for a while because she did annoy and frighten me at first :-), she gave up. We are friendly now but I wouldn't choose her to go to the movie or dinner with

Anyway, of course you are feeling skittish after a bad experience but maybe you'll find a place to work that is a bit friendlier than the last and maybe you've had some insight that this is, sadly, the nature of just about any workplace. Unfortunately those high-schoolish people are still running around in adult bodies (!) and some acceptance and developing ways of managing things on your part is necessary for the greater good of employment.

Best wishes to you.