Clinical or Non-Clinical and anxiety

I have no idea what I want to do?! I'm in a graduate training program, and there is concern about how my mental illness will be affected. I want to press on and continue, but then the doubt sets in.

Will I be good at clinical??? I've been through a lot, and I know I want to help people, but will I burnout? Is switching degrees really what I want? I"ve already spent a lot of money. Or should I work for a few years to let things settle down?

I have had these questions roaming around my mind for the past few days. I don't know the answers. I know that I would be good, but can I handle the pressure? Counseling is stressful, but with a mental illness, is it possible?

All of these questions are not good for me. I have thought a lot about it, and it keeps me feeling blah. I have been suicidal in the last week. I don't know if right now is a good time to make a decision.

Then there are the questions of am I good at my job? I work as a direct support specialist working with mental illness. On my worst days, it has bee hard. Today, due to the behaviors of the client, I had to stop and drive home. Luckily I was safe. I had a headache that was induced within ten minutes of being there and had a hard time thinking straight.

I know that I have had physical symptoms creep in, and I have pain because of the stress. I did find out that I need to finish these classes before deciding anything. The quarter term ends by the second week of May. I have time to decide.

Worst of all, this indecision is leading to lots of trouble mentally. I'm having a rough time. Any thoughts?

My first thought after reading your post is that you may be mentally tired and stressed right now and big decisions aren't easy to make when you don't have the right level of energy. You could decide to wait until you have more energy to think this through.

I struggle with indecision and one thing I remind myself when making decisions is "there are no perfect decisions". Sometimes you just decide the choice is made and move on with it. There are drawbacks to most choices. You can always think of a reasons not to make a particular choice, so be careful about letting the drawbacks make the decision. If the benefits of the choice look great to you and you have been thinking for a long time about the decision, you are probably headed in the direction you really want. It will take courage to go forward and face the any of the drawbacks you imagine, but you might not really know how it will affect you until you actually experience it.

I hope it all works out great for you whatever you decide.