People not truly liking where they work

I've wondered if most people really don't like working at the places they work at. They may like it at first but then it grows on them and they eventually dislike where they work, especially if they see it as a toxic work environment. The biggest indication that this seems to be the case is due to the fact that people appear to have no problem talking crap about their place of employment and even their coworkers with friends or family outside of work but no one will ever divulge their personal feelings to their coworkers which is understandable.

Even though work life and social life should be kept secret, usually people will not keep their work problems to themselves when they are with friends and family. Not saying that you should open up to coworkers or tell them personal stuff. I don't think most coworkers are to be trusted and they shouldn't know personal stuff. Even the most genuine coworkers who mean well can still screw up and spill the beans.

But the fact that people will abide by the rules and keep their personal life out of work, yet they have no trouble bringing their work problems home with them makes me wonder how much people truly value their jobs. I'm sure there are exceptions but I think most people work at their jobs for the paycheck. I think we all do this. Do you think most people just work for the paycheck? Do you think most work environments are toxic? Just wondering what you guys thought.

And it doesn't even have to be outside of work. Coworkers can even talk bad about the job with each other, which is a bad idea. I have a coworker that does that. She hates working there and she is not afraid to tell how she feels about the job while working. She even stated that she has absolutely no respect for the job. That is fine if she feels that way, but I think saying that stuff out loud is a bad idea and it sends a message that she doesn't care if she is putting herself in danger of losing her job. I think it is unprofessional and in a way, just asking to be fired. I don't tell my coworkers how I feel. I don't want that to get back to me and hurt me later on. I want to get a new job but my coworkers don't need to know how I feel. These kinds of behavior make me wonder how much people truly value their jobs.

Sometimes people just blow steam and vent about work to make their life easier under stress or bond with others. I love my job and my place of employment. I pretty much liked every major place of employment I had but it doesn’t mean I don’t complain sometimes. Everyone does. It doesn’t mean anything. People complain about their kids, doesn’t mean they’d rather not have them or have different kids. They just blow steam, especially under stress.

Yeah makes sense. Yeah everyone does it.

I value having my job and like the work at times, but I don't like the company where I work. They have treated employees and customers badly in the past and it doesn't make me proud to work there. I can't say it is toxic...it is more that they don't treat people fair.

I don't open up to most people about where I work or talk bad about it. I stay because there are positives, but I keep thinking about leaving if I find the right opportunity. I think it helps your wellbeing to work somewhere that you like and feel proud to be a part of.

I think people can value the fact they have a job, but still complain about it if they don't actually like where they work.

People shouldn't really talk about not liking their job while at work though. It creates a more negative atmosphere for the coworkers who have to hear about it. I can see if everyone is miserable, then that's one thing. But if it's just one or two people complaining a lot, it creates negative energy.

There's a lot of toxic work environments out there for sure. And most people I've run across do not like their jobs. It's very hard to find a healthy work environment with a strong management team.

I totally agree. I feel the same way about my work. I like it and tolerate it enough to stay, but once I find a better place, I’m going to take that job.

Yeah I totally agree. No place is perfect. And yeah complaining about the job while at work is not a good idea. It is negative and could even lead to dismissal if the wrong person hears it.

I think the only times it's acceptable is when you find a true confidante and if that person has complaints too, then the two of you can commiserate together. I had that situation in one job - actually, it was with two others on my larger team and the three of us would eat lunch together and would complain about our boss. It was cathartic. So, I think it's OK under certain circumstances only. But I agree with you that if it gets to the wrong person, it could be a bad situation. And if it's just one person complaining openly to everyone, then that creates a negative situation.

Yeah I agree. One of my coworkers is the only one who openly complains about the job. Even if someone asks how her weekend was, her response is usually her saying it was wonderful because she didn't have to be at such a horrid place. Even though it is really not that bad. No one else responds to those kinds of questions that way. They usually think of something nicer and neutral. Not devulging too much of their personal life but still keeping it positive.

Yes, some coworkers are rude and arrogant there, but it is not so horrible that I feel like I need to quit on the spot to get out. I agree that it is the kind of negativity that hinders the work environment. Sometimes I find myself wishing she would just leave, as rude as that sounds.

Oh dear Lord. Yeah. I had a coworker like that. She spread her negativity around to whomever would listen. She was actually quite toxic to the entire organization. She did leave eventually, and I was sooo relieved! I can understand your sentiments completely. It puts a wet blanket on any enthusiasm or positivity you may feel yourself whenever someone is so negative like that.

Yep exactly. It can be uncomfortable too because if someone is talking so negatively like that to me and the wrong person walks in, it could easily look like I’m engaging in complaining about the job. Glad you no longer have to deal with that coworker. I’m sure it was a relief!

Oh, I know what you mean! That's when you change the subject to something positive, or something totally unrelated to work that is positive. I never gave into that person's negativity. She literally would walk around the office, muttering negative things under her breath!!! It was awful.

That is a good idea. Changing the subject is a good idea. And yeah, your ex coworker sounds awful! If someone hates it so much, they should leave. Glad your coworker left.

Oh yeah... changing the subject or distracting them with something else works! I am no longer working where this coworker worked, but she really infected the whole office badly. What's worse? She is the Human Resources Director's daughter!!! And the HR Director herself would mutter negative things under her breath sometimes while walking by our desks! Terrible!

Wow, that is awful!

We spend half of our waking hours at work. No wonder if people keep talking about their job's problems which are inevitable. As to why people talk to their family and friends about work, and they don't talk to their coworkers about their personal stuff, I think it's because we trust our friends and families, but we are not very close to coworkers to confide to them.

Yeah that makes sense.

Honestly, I think there's always going to be something one doesn't like about their work. Whether it's the commute, your boss, the culture , the pay or the work itself. I think it's a challenge in life to find everything in one job that suits your needs. And in my experience, it's really hard to find great management in a company. I've had some of the worst managers/bosses alive. And your boss can make or break your attitude towards your work in general. I'm 50 years old and have only had 1-2 good bosses in my entire life! I've worked in higher education, large corporations, non profit, small business, family run businesses and in virtual environments. And it's been rare that I've had a great boss. Maybe it's just bad luck for me, I don't know. But I am guessing from what I've seen from others that great bosses are really hard to come by. Your boss (to me) is one of the most important aspects of a job. I've basically hated every job because I've had such terrible bosses.

So, one is very very lucky if they have a great boss, a great company AND a job that they like. To me, that's rare to have.

Yeah I agree. It is very rare to be in a great company. Employers and even coworkers are usually in it for themselves and a paycheck. And I agree that bosses and even coworkers can determine what kind of attitude you have towards the job. All depends on the work environment.

It sure does.

The last time I liked a job was in 2014, and that was a brief position for just eight months. Even that job was hard because it was very high pressured and very stressful. But I liked my boss and coworkers, which made the stress more tolerable.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope ...Your boss (to me) is one of the most important aspects of a job. I've basically hated every job because I've had such terrible bosses ....

Couldn't agree more. Surveys show that most employees quit their jobs because of their supervisor and/or manager, and not because of money. I think supervisors and managers are put there without proper training and they are chosen for the wrong skills, and when they are put there they become authoritative and closed minded to others who are low in rank. For example, I have a supervisor who is very detached from her employees at the personal level. She doesn't know anything about them, and she doesn't want to. She would walk in on you in the kitchen and not even acknowledge you, not even with a short look and a nod , let alone strike a small talk, yet when it's time to distribute tasks under the manager's eyes, she is polite and greeting you ... etc. It's difficult to reconcile the two faces. I feel she's using me as a means like a robot without proper acknowledgment to me as a human being first. Even when I finish tasks, she doesn't thank me. Just "here is your next task" ... etc

I'm glad you liked that job. Good jobs are hard to come by. I like the job I'm in right now, the job itself is perfectly fine. I just don't care for my coworkers and how cliquy and exclusive they are.

Sounds like that boss took the whole being professional to an extreme level. I do understand why some people may not want to discuss things that involve non-work activities or other things in their lives. I'll be honest, I'm sort of like that myself since I believe no one truly cares or wants to hear. But engaging in small talk to relieve some awkwardness and create a more balanced environment is key to a more positive work environment.

One thing I've observed is that people are more willing to talk about the happy stuff that is happening in their lives. Like weddings, graduations, other special events. It's when things get bad when people tend to clam up and say they are just going through personal issues. I'm more like that as well. In the rare times I do open up, I'm more willing to talk about the good stuff and hide the bad. I even keep funerals to myself. Keeping things completely work related can create awkwardness, which seems to be the case at your previous job.

Cliques and exclusivity are not fun to deal with. I completely understand. It makes one feel like an outsider, and that's tough. We spend a lot of hours at work, and it's nice when we can feel a part of the team and have a sense of camaraderie. At least you like the work that you do - that's a huge plus.

I worked for a very small, close-knit family-run organization once and talk about feeling like an outsider. I was not a part of the family. The two other employees (part-time) were orphans that this family kind of took in as their own. So I was the outsider and it was really uncomfortable for me. I lasted one year in that job. It was my very first office job in my twenties. It was a lonely experience, so I feel for you.

Yes, agreed.

Your supervisor sounds contradictory and yes, robotic. How can a manager ignore the human element of relating to their employees? That's not a good leader in my opinion - to just be a taskmaster and nothing more. A good leader inspires and motivates their employees - and should be approachable. And that involves also being able to relate to them on the human level.

So many leaders are inept in their roles. I think every manager should be required to take a management class.

One boss I had was SO terrible, all of us employees approached our union president with a list of legitimate gripes. As a result, the company required that our boss take a leadership course. I left the organization before seeing the results of that course.