Possible to be overly professional to the point of seeming rude or flaky

I've wondered, is it possible to be overly professional at work to the point where you seem rude or flaky? There's nothing wrong with professionalism, but I've heard of people stating that they may know someone at work who is so over the top in terms of professionalism that they just seem very flaky and rude. No one is their true selves at work, but at the same time, I do believe you can still maintain your genuine personality while still being professional.

I've actually seen this as well where someone at work only acknowledges others from work while they are currently on the clock. If they see anyone from work outside in public, they will treat you like they have no idea who you are. I've actually seen that myself too. I know a secretary at my work who will say hi to you while at work, but if you see her in public, she will act like she doesn't know you. I've been told by others that she has done the same thing to them.

I get it, I prefer to not talk to people from work when I'm not on the clock, but, if I see them in public and they wave hi, I still politely say hi back. I won't engage in conversation, but I'll still acknowledge their presence. Another thing I've seen happen is someone being so professional that they even refuse to answer basic small talk questions on breaks like whether they had a good weekend or holiday break. You don't even have to ask what they did, all you have to ask is, "Did you have a good break or weekend?" They may respond with a short curt reply and then start talking about work related stuff.

Again, I totally get being professional and maintaining professional boundaries, but at the same time, I feel like if you can't even make small talk at work and you act like a completely different person, then it just comes off as more rude than being professional. I believe you can maintain professionalism without tossing your personality out the window. Do you know anyone who may be like this? I don’t let it affect me, just an observation. Just wondered what you thought.

Do they just not having small talk with you or in general they dislike small talk? I can’t imagine not acknowledging a colleague in public.

I don’t think professionalism is an issue here. Are these people never do small talk with others either? these particular people just have no interest in talking to you? I understand it hurts

Another thing is I am very social and talk to anyone, I can talk to a wall but I dislike small talks immensely. If you ask me if I am reading any good books currently, that’s a valid question and I’ll have a good response to it plus a follow up because if I don’t currently read anything good perhaps you have a suggestion re book to read. That’s a conversation. If you ask me if I am having a good day, it’s a small talk. I have nothing to respond but say yes. What am I going to say to this.

Some of it is cultural. In many cultures small talk is not common. We either say something in substance or we shut up. “How are you and if you had a good day” is nothing that requires any particular response besides “yes”. You might solicit better conversation if you ask what they actually did or if they saw/visited/made something while on break. Or share what you did or saw

Yeah that makes sense. And this doesn’t happen to just me, it happens to others as well. Again, it doesn’t upset me a lot, just more of an observation that I’ve made and even others have made. And yeah it does make sense that some people just may not like small talk.

I think professionalism goes too far when it’s so rigid that people are no longer being authentic. I mean when so many of us spend so much time at work, it’s a pity that people can’t just be themselves. I really do think the world would be a better place if people couldn’t hide behind professionalism or any other kind of mask so everyone could see through all the phoniness. It would be nice to know where you stand with people and not spend any time on mean people or manipulators for example.

Are you crossing hierarchy or departmental lines? Some people will socialize just within their level or department. Crossing hierarchy lines can be problematic in either direction. At work, it can look like favoritism.

I agree, it does seem like some people hide behind the professionalism mask to prevent showing their real selves. Now I can understand that to an extent. There are somethings that you should just simply not reveal at work. But I still think you can have an authentic personality while being professional at the same time.

Yeah I can understand that. And I’m careful about that, I never cross lines. I’m the odd ball out anyways at work.