Negative thinking in new job when faced with new challenges

Yes. I believe you could discuss with your boss that you want some variety in your tasks. The worst they can do is to say no. Don’t tell them you are going nuts. Just tell them you’d like to contribute in more ways etc and try different tasks in addition to the ones you do now. It’s always good to ask for more responsibilities.

The only concern is and that’s maybe why they don’t give more tasks, is that when they gave different tasks you said you couldn’t do them or needed someone else to take charge or they weren’t pleased with the result. Maybe I’d have a conversation with them if there is a group project you could join or if they have an idea on type of tasks you could do . Or you could suggest a specific task you could do successfully

No. You can’t ask them to let you go. Companies don’t lay off upon request. If you want to leave, you leave. I get that you won’t get unemployment but you can’t request to be fired. You can’t ask them to let you go as they aren’t really holding you. You can give two week (or whatever requirements they have) notice.

Hopefully they give you better variety of tasks after you talk to them and things improve

Good advice, thanks divine.

There were two tasks whereby I said I couldn't do it - with one, I flat out told them I couldn't do it when I was given the option, and with the other, I said I needed more help. I can see when the first time I said I couldn't do it why they were displeased, but I don't see anything wrong with saying I need additional help with something that is new to me.

Ok, so I cannot ask them to let me go. To Bill's point, I am expensive, and from a financial standpoint, it doesn't make sense to keep me on when I am doing such menial tasks.

I wish they would just end my misery already. It's painful.

It’s expensive for them but if that’s what they are willing to pay, maybe you could sit tight, do things they ask and stash money away in case something goes wrong. I hate menial tasks but if I got big buck for that, maybe I’d be ok for awhile just putting money away.

They might be hesitant to just fire due to psychiatrist letters and health issues etc they might think it might be cheaper in a long run if they just pay you higher salary than iv they have to deal with lawsuits or something. Maybe just sitting tight isn’t a bad option

Yes, I have been putting money away, just in case, with every paycheck.

I would sit tight, but I am going absolutely bonkers doing my one single task. Each day is so painful to get through - it's 8 hours of sheer torture.

Also, it looks like I’ve been ghosted by the last company I interviewed with. My final interview was last Thursday; I emailed the internal recruiter on Monday to ask when I will hear on a decision and I received no reply. Wtf?!?

I’m filled with anxiety. I feel like it’s only a matter of time before they fire me. I fear I’ve ruined my career because of mental health reasons. I’m really worried.

This morning is just sheer dread. I am going to call in sick and play hooky. The one reason why I am doing so is to avoid the company meeting whereby we each have to speak about something new/interesting in our field. I looked and looked and couldn't find anything online to speak about. And I have a chip on my shoulder because of what they're doing to me. I have a bad attitude now, and it's coming out. A coworker asked if I wanted to join his client call today to learn about what kind of content they want. I declined, though he did give me the option to say no. But still, bad attitude. It's like I cannot curb it. My immediate reaction to him was to say no.

I am in a really bad place. The monotony of my work is getting to me, and the fact that they are keeping me in a lower position. It's been three weeks straight of doing only blog articles. My self esteem has taken a big hit. I wonder if I can recover from this?

Is it truly cruel and inhumane what they are doing to me?

I am sorry you are struggling but honestly your only options are either quit or snap out of it. I don’t know if it’s necessarily inhumane. Calling it that sounds extreme. I mean it’s annoying but I am not sure if it’s cruel. Not like they made you clean toilets all of a sudden even though you weren’t hired to do that.

It’s been only 3 weeks. You getting paid more than many people will ever dream of (despite working very hard demanding jobs) and if it means looking up blog articles for few weeks then maybe just do it for awhile. Did you ask them to give you more tasks? But then again you just said no to something that could be more exciting than articles. They might be collecting evidence that you don’t want or can’t do other tasks.

Plus maybe you can bring them a new letter that you can resume normal activities. You did give them a letter that stated you can’t do hard tasks. They might be scared to push it

Don’t do anything drastic. Talk to your boss re adding different tasks. Take a weekend off and then resume your job in a new spirit next week

Well, I did not say no to a new or different task. I simply declined from joining a client call by my coworker and had been given a choice. I have not yet had a conversation with my boss about adding new tasks. I was supposed to meet with him today but I called in sick. I asked if he wants to meet Monday/Tuesday instead.

I cannot quit. But I cannot go on like this. You have no idea what it’s like each and every day to do the same task over and over again. And three weeks straight is making me bat crazy.

I tend to agree with Bill. Keeping me on is expensive for them. I’m a burden and a problem.

Perhaps I do need another doctors note saying I can take on more, but they haven’t even asked me for one. It’s like they just don’t care. Plus, the last time I spoke with my doctor he had to increase my anti depressant because I was getting more and more depressed. And that is still the case. My mental health is being negatively effected by my work.

It does feel unnecessarily cruel.

Maybe they are driving you to another medical leave?

It could be especially if the leave is unpaid. They are off the hook then.

Perhaps, though I really should not do that. It's money out of my pocket. And if I get fired or let go, I will need those funds to help float me.

Yes - they would be off the hook, but I don't think I should take a leave of absence again.

I'm getting to a place where these blog articles are getting much harder to do. After creating 6 months worth of articles for every client, to be able to come up with a unique topic with unique keywords and without any repetition is becoming extremely challenging. There's only so many blog articles that I can create about Mexican clothing or about dash cameras. I think I may need to come to a stopping point with a few of the clients, which is my concern.

WHY won't they just let me go at this stage?

Do you want an alternative point of view that you can use to challenge your negative thoughts? I don't intend for this to cause you upset or distress, I just see your work issues from a coworker/employer perspective which is different from your perspective. If you want to challenge your negative thoughts, you must change your perception instead of indulging your negative point of view with avoidance and self sabotaging ideas.

Is it possible that the coworker who asked about sitting in his client meeting was trying to help you find new inspiration so you can get through your current task? Is it possible that this person sees you struggling and offered you help? I think you missed a good opportunity to learn from both a client and a coworker. If that coworker has been successful at your company, wouldn't they be a good resource to learn from? Actions speak louder than words. You asking for help (even in your own thoughts) and then declining the help that's offered suggests you don't want help and want to struggle. I've seen this before in highly intelligent and capable coworkers. One person declined a small olive branch from one of the best mentors in the company we worked for and it turned out to be a career ending move.

Is it possible that your employer is keeping you employed because they believe in you? You seem so convinced that your employer can't possibly find any value in you or any reason other than your negative perspective to keep you employed there. From my point of view, they could be keeping you because they do value you but you can't see it and are even fighting against being valued. Saying your tasks are menial devalues any effort you put into it. Your employer isn't saying it's menial... you are. You can't simultaneously be too good for this menial task and not good enough to complete it. Pick one.

Avoiding meetings because you are afraid to say that you have no idea what's new and exciting in your field means you missed a chance to be inspired by others and what they think is new and interesting. These meetings aren't just a test of what you know, they are meant to be a jumping point for new ideas. You could have said in that meeting, I've been so focused on one task, I've missed out on some new things. Thanks for sharing what's new or I'm looking forward to hearing about what's new or hmm that's interesting, I'll have to look into that more. You bailed on being an active participant. If you want to be successful, you need to participate. The way you've been participating hasn't brought you the result you want, so try a new way.

One last thought... you mentioned something about others not understanding how hard it is to keep doing the same task over and over... I get that you don't like this particular task you are doing and you're complaining to vent your frustration. The monotony of a repetitive task can be disrupted by attending a coworkers meeting, going to a team meeting... use the opportunities that are presented to you to get a change of mental pace at work. My boss used to schedule short safety meetings in the middle of our end of month crush of monotonous computer based tasks and crazy boring budget reporting. People complained like you wouldn't believe. I suggested he change the name to "monotony busting safety breaks". Attendance and productivity up, complaints down. What do you have to lose by challenging your negative thought patterns?

The fact that it becomes challenging might be a blessing. You wanted something more challenging and less menial. It might be a great challenge to find those articles and it might get you brownie points for getting the answers. It would also keep you busy looking for those things. If it’s challenging, it’s not really as simple as it first appeared

They can’t just let people go randomly. They need more evidence and documentation showing lack of improvement. They also might be afraid to mess with you due to health issues. And they might not want to fire you because they think you could do well. I think you said you got some positive feedbacks

@RollercoasterLover, thanks for your thoughts. I am far too gone, however, to change my thinking about this particular job. I hate it, I hate every second of it, I am becoming more and more negative, and it's the fact that they hold me to a lower level when I've been asking for more responsibility and to do the job I was hired to do. My frustration level is so high at this point, that I literally just don't care anymore about the quality of my work, how I contribute, in what ways I do contribute, or about my attitude. I WANT them to fire me, BUT not because of something egregious that I've done that is against policy, but because I don't measure up to their standards. And, I know I don't. They may see value in my ability to come up with blog article ideas, yes, but that wasn't the job I was hired to do. I am supposed to be a strategist working on client accounts., and they won't give me a single account to work on, despite my asking for more responsibility and despite my telling my CEO that I was ready to take on more. I don't understand why they're holding me back. Hence, my extreme level of frustration and my negative attitude. AND, I know from the audits I've done that I don't measure up to their standards - that's clear to me. And their standards are stupidly HIGH.

@divine1966, thanks as well for your thoughts. I didn't necessarily want this kind of a challenge - I wanted to do the job I was hired to do, as I mentioned above. I didn't want to be given the task of coming up with blog articles for 12 months for every client. That's insane. And yes, it's more challenging than the work I was doing before, but as I wrote above, I don't understand why they continue to hold me at a lower level when I have repeatedly asked for greater responsibility. It doesn't make any sense. And I think there's a good reason for that, of which I am completely unaware. I think could let me go, for financial reasons, if they wanted to.

Bottom line is: IF I hadn't had mental health issues that took me away from work for a full month, things would be VERY different in my job. They're likely afraid of giving me more due to my reaction to higher stressors. It's doomed. I am in that in between spot of being too high functioning for disability and not functioning high enough to meet the real demands of my current job.

I need OUT, is the bottom line. I've got to start job hunting again.