[Alidali]

Hello All - I’m new to this community: this is my first post. I’m posting this and joining this community because I’m being bullied at work. I’m a postal carrier and I’m being bullied by one of my supervisors. She’s being extremely overt and extreme in her bullying: standing in my personal space and watching me while I work. She stands there and criticizes each movement I make. She’s trying to create fights. It’s exhausting and stressful. Definitely not normal. My coworkers have noticed her singling me out. I’d love to hear from you all on your thoughts about this. I wonder what she sees in me and/or what is her damage that makes her do this.

[Yaowen]

Hi and welcome to the Forums. It is very nice to meet you.

I am so sorry that you are being bullied by a supervisor. How awful. I was in a situation like that before I retired. It was a living nightmare.

I am wondering whether there is someone higher than your supervisor to whom you could appeal for help?

I am not familiar with the ins and outs of the US Postal Service but I wonder if you belong to some kind of union. If so, could you speak to your union rep about this?

Is is possible for you to make a lateral transfer to another unit of the post office?

When I was being harassed by a supervisor, my psychiatrist suggested I try to make a game of it. He told me to imagine that I was a worker in a mental hospital and dealing with a mental patient who believed he was my boss. I was to humor him and not take things personal because he was a mental patient in my care. That seemed to help some.

Workplace harassment can be a legal issue too. One can consult an attorney about it and see what legal remedies are available to you.

I must apologize to you if these are bad ideas. I can't think of anything really good at the moment. Hopefully others here will have better words for you than my poor words.

I feel for you and my heart goes out to you!

[Alidali]

Thank you so much for this! This is indeed useful.

We’re unionized at USPS - so I’ve placed grievances against this supervisor’s abuse. The one hitch is with that is that it takes such a long time to go through. But it’s a critical step.

I also filed an EEO complaint against her - which went nowhere (got “denied”). But I’m thinking to file another one.

It might be noted here:
In terms of dynamics- I’m a white woman. The supervisor who’s being abusive is African American. While I’d love to think that there’s no discrimination here - it may be the case. I’m the only white woman in our station (we have about 70 workers). Nearly all my coworkers are African American (there are 3 white men and one Bangladeshi American man) and we all get along great - except for her.

Most things I’ve read about bullying indicates they the bully seeks someone who’s different.

I also think that I possibly threaten her because I *do* get along well with my coworkers and have a positive attitude.

April will be 4 years for me with the postal service. I was in higher education for 18+ years before this. While I don’t know if she knows this, I’m guessing (maybe) that she senses that I come from a background that had me in a very different place.

I really like my job, really like my coworkers, and love being outdoors, the exercise, the service, and the customers are great.

It’s just the surveillance and harassment that are so tiring and soul crushing.

[Have Hope]

Bully supervisors target people who threaten them in some way and make them envious. So maybe your former experience, positive attitude, and ability to get along well with everyone else somehow threatens this supervisor. I think you're going about it the right ways. You could also be direct with her and ask her to please not stand in your space. I've read that standing up to the bully at work can help too. But I'm not sure if you're comfortable with direct communication.

I have a bully boss too, and I did confront her directly with some of her behaviors towards me - not all - but one aspect. Her attitude seemed to have improved towards me after that. I also spoke with her boss about it, but asked him not to speak with her about talking to me.

[Alidali]

Thank You SO Much -
This is very very useful! And right on time too - I write this directly before I go to work for the morning. And I've been away for (a very nice) 5 days. This helps me start the work day in the correct mind space. And gives me perspective. I'm hoping this supervisor will lay off today (and future days!) - but if no: this gives me further context to see and respond to her nonsense. Thank You!

[Alidali]

One other note on the bullying that I'm experiencing from this supervisor: I'm not positive that she knows about my background/previous experience in higher education.... But I suspect that she may - because some of my coworkers know (and she may have talked with them (?)). Also: as Facebook works - her profile has appeared several times in suggested connections. While I've never clicked on her profile (and it's jarring to see it there!), I've read that Facebook lines people up who have viewed your profile as suggested connections. So - if that's the case: I find that extra creepy and discomfiting!

[Discombobulated]

Oh gosh, this sounds difficult. Well done for getting a grievance lodged, it sounds like you’re doing everything correctly.

If you aren’t already then please keep note of times and dates and what happened, the Union already probably advised that.

I agree with Hope, bullies are usually insecure individuals, they are usually trying to bolster their own self esteem by belittling others.

I like Yaowen’s advice about creating distance by imagining she’s a mental patient. Years after I experienced bullying by a manager I realised how unstable this woman was, at the time all I could feel was the anxiety from the bullying. Creating a safe space by viewing her as someone to be pitied might be helpful.

[Discombobulated]

Originally Posted by Alidali

One other note on the bullying that I'm experiencing from this supervisor: I'm not positive that she knows about my background/previous experience in higher education.... But I suspect that she may - because some of my coworkers know (and she may have talked with them (?)). Also: as Facebook works - her profile has appeared several times in suggested connections. While I've never clicked on her profile (and it's jarring to see it there!), I've read that Facebook lines people up who have viewed your profile as suggested connections. So - if that's the case: I find that extra creepy and discomfiting!

I believe it’s also the case Facebook suggests people as friends if you have mutual friends in common, this happens all the time to me and I don’t think they’ve been looking me up, just Facebook knows we’ve got a connection in common. Facebook is creepy imo.

[Alidali]

Thank you so so so much for the further help, support, ideas - and your experiences.
Truly - this is all making my own experience so much more easy, understandable, sane.... And giving me peace and stability.
Thank You - Sincerely!