PTSD and bullying - workplace and family

Hello. I just read a few strings of replies, and ok. Ok. PTSD and workplace bullying can go hand in hand and this is the place to talk about it? I also have endured family bullying my entire life.

Two weeks ago, I probably had a stress breakdown. Short story is my sister and I had just been in hospital supporting my mom 24/7 for 4 straight days, sleeping in the semi-reclining chair and pseudo cot they offered for family. Too much togetherness. Too much history. It was a tinderbox. And it started smoldering. I finally got out of there and made the 2 hour drive home. Then mom calls. Did I have her brush? I lost it. I remember quickly and as politely as I could getting off the phone and then I was out of my body. I heard someone screaming. Then I realized it was me. I couldn't stop for I don't know how long. Maybe 5-10 minutes? I was certain the police would be banging down my door. It was that loud and I couldn't stop it.

So, was that a stress breakdown, or a nervous breakdown?

I told the counsellors about it this last week, and they didn't seem too phased about it. Sure was significant to me!

This episode wasn't directly linked to workplace bullying, but to family bullying. Same difference, in a way.

That's me. Got a target on my back. Sucks, royally.

I am sorry you have to deal with that, it's ok to scream when too much gets shoved at you. How are you doing right "now"?

Seeker i would talk t your T about it and how you felt it was significent and how you felt they didint - and ask them why they didint . - i always found it best to do this cos i teneded to over analyse what they said and did

To me it seems a stress releease not a breakdown - i have often felt like screaming but cant - i was taught to be silent lol - so i tried screaming inside my head and i felt so much better

did you feel better but exhausted after ? maybe it was what you needed at the time.

Im glad youre getting help and im sorry you had to deal wht your family - maybe it would have been better to take shifts between you if possible? hindsight is a wonderful thing - you did the best you could at the time and dealt with it the best way you knew how - its like a kettle on the boil .sooner or later its gonna whistle

take good care of you

P7

As for bullies...remember its their problem they are trying to shift onto you and inside they are afraid

Open Eyes and Phoenix7,

Thank you for your encouragement. I just finished posting a new thread announcing I may have a Dx of PTSD and BPD.

So while I may have interpreted what I thought was nonchalance, they obviously heard me. Could be that I was in the midst of heightend crisis last week, and she didn't want to add to the stress. Who knows?

The T got right to the point today. She mentioned her thoughts on my Dx within the first 10 minutes of my appointment.

As for right now? I'm at home. I cooked myself a good warm meal. I'm doing some research online, and writing to you all! I'm doing ok.

There's a sense of relief. There may be a name to what I've always tried to tell people was wrong with me. And with that relief comes a new set of unknowns.

I'm a little sad about it, too. And that's probably "normal," too, huh?

Thank you, again, for responding. Have a wonderful evening.

Phoenix7,

I didn't specifically address a couple of points you made....

I'm an over-analyzer, too. I know exactly what you mean by asking for clarity. Today, I didn't feel I needed it.

After my nuclear meltdown, I wasn't exhausted, I was hyper vigilant. I couldn't sleep, and I needed it badly. And I couldn't eat. I was lucky to keep part of a vanilla protein drink down.

The nuclear meltdown was on a Tuesday. I got myself put together for a 6 pm college class I had the following day, on Wednesday, but after that, I didn't leave my house for 5 days.

Like you, I was taught I needed to be silent. Children are to be seen and not heard. Whatever.

I did my best to stuff everything, but after while and when the pressure got to be too much, it would, as you said, whistle!

Doing shifts would have been the thing to do. Logistics didn't allow for it. The house was 2 hours from the hospital, and budget didn't allow for a hotel room. My sister had flown in from out of state, too.

Needless to say, my sister and I are on non-speaking terms again. Lovely dysfunctional family dynamics. Lol

I'm sorry that happened to you. When I was 15, after years of family abuse, me and my sister and my dad were driving to the mall and my sister was being so mean to me that day, taunting me and just pushing me way over the edge after everything I had been through, until one second I realized I was screaming louder than I've ever screamed before, in the car. After about 6 seconds I stopped and we were parked in heavy traffic. I was so embarrassed, I just put my head between my knees and cried. My dad was silent and my sister said "Don't worry dad she just did that for attention." I still remember that day and the feeling I had while screaming, I couldn't control it at all.

CosmicRose, OMG. I completely get that. Complete disregard for your feelings in the whole situation. Really, she taunts you to the point of screaming in a meltdown, and "you did it for attention!?" That describes MY family, too! I am so sorry, and I completely understand.