Did I Technically Relapse????????

The other day I swent to the ASC clinic at County, because I cut my finger kinda deep. The doctor saw that I was taking psych meds and started to ask me all these questions (most of us know them by heart). I was answering "correctly" until he asked me if I was having homicidal thoughts. I told him yes towards my ex-boyfriend. I have them everyday all day long (if any of you know my past I should have homicidal thoughts). I also told him that I wouldn't act on it. He then asked me if my ex was standing in front of me and I had a weapon would I then kill him. I said yes. WRONG ANSWER! Some of you know the waiting in a big city county clinic. I was there a good 5 hours. I told him that I wasn't gonna go to the hospital. I walked out and I was telling my mom what the doctor did and that I was gonna just go home and we were getting coats on when this cop came up and said that I was going across the way to the hospital. After that things are a little fuzzy. It started when he touched me. Then I remember all these people comming toward me. I was handcuffed given a shot of haldol and pretty much drug kicking and screaming to the hospital (most of that I don't remember, my mom told me). My mom said that when we got there I tried to run after they took the handcuffs off and then they put me in 4 pt. restraints (they said that i kept getting out of it and trying to get my feet lose) I got another shot of haldol and some atavan. I remember just sitting there feeling like I was so stoned. I felt like I was high as a kite. It's like I missed it so much. I love being sober, but I loved being high more. I think that because I was in a super altered state of mind and I felt high that I relapsed. I worked so hard to come to terms that my regular meds weren't making me relapsed. It was ok because I am perscribed to them on a daily basis that they were ok. I am the type ok person now that will not take it unless I have a perscription to it. That even includes tylonal. I am so confused right now. Did I relapse because I was given something that wasn't perscribed to me? I have no clue what to think. I don't have a sponser to talk to. I won't talk to my family because they don't understand they way I think.

In my opinion that is not a relapse--you did not seek it out and in fact had no option. I have 7 years in AA and if that had happened to me I wouldnt consider it a relapse.

(((((Kathie)))))~I wouldn't consider it a relapse, either. Technically, it was prescribed... a doctor had to order the Haldol and Ativan. No one considered it a relapse when I had morphine last summer, and I was on an IV, so I even had a little tinge of withdrawl from it. If it will make you feel better, work through it with your sponsor... even if you don't want to... because then, you take out insurance against an actual relapse. You're okay... don't worry!

Lots of hugs!

Hello, Kathie.

I do not consider this a relapse.

You were administered medication in an emergency situation. It was not of your doing.

I think you should focus your concern on avoiding this from happening again. Do you know what caused this to happen the other day? Has there been any changes with your medications?

I'm glad you are alright, Kathie. That must have been a terrifying experience.

Take care Kathie.

-Ray

I have no sponser

It was caused by being overstressed and there was a trigger. When the cop touched me. My pdoc started me on 37.5 mg of Effexor for a week then 75 mg Effexor.

I definetly don't think you relapsed. You didn't do it on your own accord. They forced it on you. Definetly don't kick yourself. I'm so sorry that happened to you; that's just unthinkable. Keep talking about it here if you don't have a sponser. We'll help you the best we can. I still consider you one cool sober sister!

Love,
Rayna